“Better take me to Chuck E. Cheese or I light yo’ ass up.”
Yesterday, word broke that Justin Bieber was being investigated for “battery” after one of his neighbors confronted him about racing his Ferrari over 100 mph inside their gated communities which sounds like Bieber rolls: Knockin’ skulls and ridin’ boost like a big boy, yo. Except naturally this story already devolved to Bieber just spit in the guy’s face and threatened to kill him which should’ve resulted in hearty laughter, but sometimes justice has to be served in a sippy cup. TMZ reports:
Law enforcement and neighbors tell TMZ … Bieber hocked a loogie in the man’s face during a heated confrontation Tuesday morning. We’re told Justin’s Ferrari had arrived on a flatbed truck at around 8:00 AM and Justin decided to take it for a ride in the gated community. A number of neighbors say Justin was driving insanely fast — the complaining neighbor says 100 mph.
The man — a 47-year-old successful businessman and father of 3 — went onto Justin’s Calabasas property and screamed, “You can’t drive like this!” The man told deputies, Justin responded by saying , “Get the f**k out of here,” and then he spit in the guy’s face and said, “I’m gonna f**king kill you.”
The man filed a battery report and we’re told he wants Bieber prosecuted and will not back down.
And good. Fuck Justin Bieber. Shitheads who think their need to go “Vroom!” is more important than not running over somebody’s kid should be shot out of a cannon. And anyone who drives under the speed limit, too. Basically never ride in a car with me is the point I’m trying to make here. *finishes typing post on iPhone, rear ends your grandmother who’s doing 10 in a 35*