Justin Bieber Got Baptized In A Bathtub, You Guys, Everything’s Going To Be Okay
“Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and to shut their bitch mouth.” Matthew 21:2-3
Justin Bieber found himself in some shit last week when not one, but two videos were released showing him repeatedly saying nigger and incorporating it into his songs. Which sounds bad enough already except he apparently did this shit for an entire afternoon and there’s still more footage out there, so it only makes sense that he’s been non-stop crying ever since. And that’s great news because for the first time in his shithead life, he’s actually showing remorse for his actions. So the important thing right now is to make sure he doesn’t find an easy out that completely lets him off the hook in the eyes of idiots. What’s that? He already did? Goddammit. TMZ reports:
We’re told Bieber’s religious resurgence focused on studying Bible passages and attending services … culminating in an actual baptism performed in the bathtub of one of the singer’s friends.
Why a bathtub, you ask? We’re told JB previously checked out a bunch of churches for the dip — but his cover was blown every time and he wanted to keep the whole thing private.
Justin’s now got a clean slate with God.
Keep in mind, Justin Bieber did the exact same thing after getting busted for a DUI with the exact same pastor. A pastor who by all logic and reason should’ve drowned the little bastard as part of the church’s never-ending battle with Satan if not realized his entire life’s work is bullshit while dunking a spoiled, little racist brat’s head in a bathtub so he can stay rich enough to buy drugs and hookers. That depresses me, and I’m not even the one selling my soul to Tiny Tupac.