Someone Tried To Kill Justin!!!!!!!!!

June 24th, 2011 // 88 Comments

Georgia O’Keefe, anyone?

If you haven’t heard by now, Justin Bieber was reportedly “attacked” outside of Macy’s yesterday in the middle of a massive riot because apparently parents just let their 11-year-old daughters roam the streets of New York. Anyway, the situation turn out to be a simple misunderstanding with an undercover cop which I knew when I wrote that headline, but middle schoolers count as traffic, too. Cha-ching! TMZ reports:

Bieber was signing autographs outside of Macy’s when the crowd became unruly … and a plainclothes police officer rushed to help the singer.
Problem is — Bieber didn’t know the guy was a cop — so when the cop got close to Justin … Bieber got defensive thinking he was a crazy fan. A member of Bieber’s security team immediately grabbed the cop and tried to pull him away.
The cop quickly identified himself — and cited the security team member for disorderly conduct.

In the end, everyone kissed and made up over autographs which proves Justin Bieber’s security is fucking clown shoes. Because, seriously, an undercover cop? That’s exactly what I’d a pedophile would say. “NYPD, listen up. You need to secure this perimeter and get that package to a secure location immediately. Now, there’s a van just around the corner with an airbrushed clown on the side, but we gotta move quick. *kicks hissing eight-year-old in the braces* Choppers! Choppers! We need choppers! GET THAT BOY TO THE VAN.”


Photos: Splash News


  1. DamnItFailed

    1. What is up with your shoes?
    2. Why are they PINK?
    3. Your pants are too long.
    4. Your watch is pink.
    5. You’re a DUDE with a PERFUME line.
    6. The bottle for your MALE PERFUME looks like someone rearranged a Vagina.

  2. WWJD? Kick your ass for wearing those shoes.

  3. 545-Corey Bieber IV

    Glad for those security and undercover cops out there, that new JB’ Someday Perfume for women pretty much a debute.

  4. kulit

    looking at the photo of the huge perfume bottle… so you gotta push the oversized gaping clit to spray the perfume?

  5. foxxyaaisha23

    I look at that boy and that bottle and both lead me to say “I can’t believe it’s not cunt”

  6. Justin Bieber Attack Macys New York
    Commented on this photo:


  7. bozo

    they modeled the perfume cap after his vagina

  8. makayl

    Ilove justin bieber he is everything to me

  9. michmasterflex

    that poor cop id be humiliated lol

  10. michmasterflex

    k so he promotes nail polish then now this.. k i know his regular fan bass is lil teenage girls but commmmoonn!

  11. Sameena

    Idiots,hetn Beiber ‘I HATE YOU’

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