Because my boy #BBare also comes in French Canadian (and Extra Crispy Ranch), the hardest, darkest rapper this side of Ontario-town took his show to Cannes where he worked his swampy magic on ALL da pussy startin’ with Jennifer Lawrence who straight up had Da Hunga Games all up in dem panties. Danity Fair:
But the most excited to meet Bieber was Jennifer Lawrence, who was overheard loudly saying “I want to meet Bieber!!” immediately upon arrival.
Ever interested in fostering interesting friendships, your trusty V.F. staff were able to arrange the historic meeting. Lawrence declined a photograph, saying she wanted Justin and herself to meet as real people. But we can confirm that they did indeed exchange pleasantries, and that the party was made all the better for it.
From there, #BBare swung his maple dick to the club where none other than Paris Hilton tried to get herself syrupinated with six feet o’ Saskatchewan Sausage. People say she got the herpes, but “Lo, shall the Maple Christ be immune to all forms of leprosy, even the pussy kind that makes your dangalang be all like, ‘Dayamn, dis shit is itchy!’” – 1 Bieberlonians, 18:57
Paris and Justin partied in Cannes Sunday night at Gotha Nightclub. There are reports that the 2 got cozy … with the 33-year-old climbing into Justin’s 20-year-old lap … then leaving for his house.
But here’s the deal. We’re told 50 people went back to Justin’s house — Paris was never alone with him. And something else we were told … she said the party was lame and couldn’t stand the fact that Justin was playing his own songs … so she left after half an hour.
And finally, we get to Adriana Lima, The Mad Russian (From Brazil), who’s now the third Victoria’s Secret model my boy broke in two making him The Tribecca of Supermodel Pussytown because my boy puts tribugles up in dat ass! Now watch him grind up on dat shit, and y’all will never see a woman so clearly want to fuck a hardass gangsta in your LIFE. (One love, Todd.)
Oh, shit, y’all! See how dat be bitch holdin’ her stomach all weird and shit? My boy’s about to get his first son to skip out on, yo! MAKE SOME NOOIISSEEE.
Photos: Abaca/AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet