Adriana Lima, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lawrence: They All Wanna Piece O’ #BBare

May 20th, 2014 // 36 Comments
#BBare Is Da Law
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Because my boy #BBare also comes in French Canadian (and Extra Crispy Ranch), the hardest, darkest rapper this side of Ontario-town took his show to Cannes where he worked his swampy magic on ALL da pussy startin’ with Jennifer Lawrence who straight up had Da Hunga Games all up in dem panties. Danity Fair:

But the most excited to meet Bieber was Jennifer Lawrence, who was overheard loudly saying “I want to meet Bieber!!” immediately upon arrival.
Ever interested in fostering interesting friendships, your trusty V.F. staff were able to arrange the historic meeting. Lawrence declined a photograph, saying she wanted Justin and herself to meet as real people. But we can confirm that they did indeed exchange pleasantries, and that the party was made all the better for it.

From there, #BBare swung his maple dick to the club where none other than Paris Hilton tried to get herself syrupinated with six feet o’ Saskatchewan Sausage. People say she got the herpes, but “Lo, shall the Maple Christ be immune to all forms of leprosy, even the pussy kind that makes your dangalang be all like, ‘Dayamn, dis shit is itchy!’” – 1 Bieberlonians, 18:57

Paris and Justin partied in Cannes Sunday night at Gotha Nightclub. There are reports that the 2 got cozy … with the 33-year-old climbing into Justin’s 20-year-old lap … then leaving for his house.
But here’s the deal. We’re told 50 people went back to Justin’s house — Paris was never alone with him. And something else we were told … she said the party was lame and couldn’t stand the fact that Justin was playing his own songs … so she left after half an hour.

And finally, we get to Adriana Lima, The Mad Russian (From Brazil), who’s now the third Victoria’s Secret model my boy broke in two making him The Tribecca of Supermodel Pussytown because my boy puts tribugles up in dat ass! Now watch him grind up on dat shit, and y’all will never see a woman so clearly want to fuck a hardass gangsta in your LIFE. (One love, Todd.)

Oh, shit, y’all! See how dat be bitch holdin’ her stomach all weird and shit? My boy’s about to get his first son to skip out on, yo! MAKE SOME NOOIISSEEE.

Photos: Abaca/AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet

superficial

  1. How big of an asshole do you have to be if Paris Hilton considers you an asshole?

    • Kyle

      Paris will not have anything to do with you if you have more herpe sores on your asshole than she does.

      • Hugh G. Rection

        So does this mean Usher now has herpes?

      • Wess

        It’s pretty common knowledge that Paris is a racist (along with being an anti-semite and homophobe), so I don’t think she’d willingly have anything to do with Usher…oh wait, you’re talking about Usher and Bieber…never mind.

  2. Hm. I never figured on the Apocalypse starting on a weekday. I always figured it would be like a Saturday afternoon thing, for some reason.

  3. The Most Interesting

    Proof, for those of you who adore her, that Jennifer Lawrence is a vapid little bitch on a level with Paris Hilton.

    You may have a hissy fit and die off, now.

  4. Skipping put on your kids is the American way. It’s not available to you Canadians.

  5. Bonky

    Most of those pictures show people looking all around but not at Bieber.
    I guess an annoying little boy trying to show off his tiny
    muscles gets pretty boring, pretty quickly.

  6. Jack Ketch

    Why?

  7. Lima is a full foot taller than that pussy wanksta.

  8. I remember a few years back Paris dancing to her own “music” at a club and people having the same reaction. Why do I remember that? Because I’m a loser and have o life.

  9. Tommy

    They all want to be his friend for now. All of these D-listers just trying to piggyback on his coattails, I actually feel sorry for him.

  10. Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty fucked up when black rappers are trying to gain credibility by hanging out with Justin Bieber. hahaha

  11. Marketing Mike

    His “A” list days are over. Paris isn’t shy, she probably sat on his
    lap, felt his tiny little boner rub against her knee, and left. She’s used
    to stunt cocks, his sad little Vienna sausage wouldn’t even register.

    • Nikki

      You’re probably not far off the mark.
      Herpes Hilton is a World Class Whore, who has let guys she has just meet screw her in the middle of room filled with people while everyone else watched.
      Only Johnny Wadd sized cocks can fill her Coke and X vault.

  12. Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Two in my brown, then reach around. I keeps it real, dawg.”

  13. Kimmykimkim

    All respect for Jennifer Lawrence – vanished. Just like that.

  14. Is calling Bieber a little prick redundant?

  15. Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate how the light just worked for the little turd in this pic, I wish it was Photoshopped

    • Marketing Mike

      IT IS PHOTOSHOPPED. Hello?
      Both pictures where he is yellow are Photoshopped.
      Blow it up 200% and look at the edges of the yellow.
      You can’t light 1 guy up in a room like that with
      a sharp edge to the light. It’s impossible….

  16. Superficial dear knows weirdly a lot about Canada… I shall investigate.
    ps: no Jennifer… how could you? why? how?

  17. He’s the only douchebag with his shirt off, standing there trying to get attention. Sad little loser.

  18. Joe Blow

    LOL @ ” the hardest, darkest rapper this side of Ontario-town”

    And damn do I enjoy it when Fish talks gangsta in the BBare posts.

  19. Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
    luzverde
    Commented on this photo:

    “… is how many hairs I’ve been able to grow on my moustache”

  20. Watching her tower over him, she was probably laughing her ass off at this little boy. I am 100% certain now that he never touched Miranda Kerr.

  21. Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
    gumbypokey
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh. The tall-boot Wehrmacht look is sooo 70 years ago.

  22. Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
    ken
    Commented on this photo:

    Fist of iron!

  23. Marketing Mike

    That “yellow” light would leak on every person
    within 3 feet of Bieber. Just think about it.
    You can direct light, but you can cut it
    with a sharp edge, like a piece of paper
    Unless cutting/pasting in Photoshop.

  24. Lou Braccant

    I know this is WAY late but I want you guys to look at the video closely. The last edit where Adriana has her arm in the air, she is actually trying to grab the hand of the guy stepping down from the dancefloor, they keep holding hands and they walk away. She then gives JB a ‘not a chance in hell’ smile as they leave. This is a standard hot girl move, JB comes over and she leaves.

  25. Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Ice, Ice, baby.

  26. Justin Bieber Drinking Adriana Lima Rick Ross Gotha Club Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he pretending to make out with an invisible chick, I mean dude?

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