So Justin Bieber Probably Banged Adriana Lima

Last week, myself and anyone interested in maintaining the illusion that this is a sane and rational world that hasn’t completely descended into chaos attempted to laugh off reports that Adriana Lima and Justin Bieber allegedly hooked up in Cannes. There was even video of her brushing him off. But now more and more reports keep coming in that they went home together at 5 a.m. although none of them even consider the possibility she was just checking under his bed for monsters. It’s called journalism, people. Us Weekly reports:

“Justin pursued her hard,” says a pal of the mom of two, who split from husband Marko Jaric in May after five years of marriage. At a private house party later that night, “they were talking nonstop,” adds the source. “They went home together around 5 a.m.”
The “Boyfriend” singer took to his Instagram account that same night, sharing a snap of himself and the 32-year-old stunner. Bieber captioned the pic, “I think she foreign, I think she foreign,” referencing lyrics from his song “Confident.”
“He had fun with Adriana,” says a Bieber source. “[But] it won’t turn into anything serious.”

“Holy shit, you just fucked Adriana Lima! Think you’ll do it again?”

- What literally just happened here because the gods of this world are dead and we now live at the mercy of Cockthulu, Destroyer of All That Once Was Good And Hot By Sticking Justin Bieber’s Wiener In It

Photos: Instagram / FameFlynet