JUSTIN #BBARE IS THE LAW, CAT

May 15th, 2014 // 37 Comments
187 #BBare
Robbery Was The Case That They Gave Me Read More »

Yesterday, word got out that my boy #BBare, as in ladies be gettin’ bare for #BBare, was tryin’ to get stuck with some bullshit robbery charge over some ho at da batting cages saying he touched her iPhone or some shit. Which, maybe, mighta stuck on some lesser fool except all dem legal beagles forgot to account for one of the most undeniable troof of life: Pussy do what #BBare says it do. Tell ‘em, HarvLev:

The Sherman Oaks Castle Park employee called in to “TMZ Live” moments ago, claiming she witnessed the heated exchange Monday night between Bieber and the woman who was taking photos of him.
The employee says the woman was definitely the instigator, being overly aggressive and ignoring security’s requests to stop snapping pics. She says Bieber was upset, but never got physical with the woman in any way … and definitely didn’t try to grab her phone.
Sources close to Bieber tell us, the singer lost his cool because the flash kept distracting him while he was trying to bat.

OOOOOOOOOOOH shit. And, lo, shall #BBare’s enemies lie prostate cancer before him. And my boy shall humble dem asses and speak with the voice of an angel:

It is hard to defend myself and my privacy every moment of the day. Then to see rumors. The truth will set u free
My mom raised me to be kind to others. I get judged, harassed, and I try to take the high road. Sometimes it isn’t easy. But we keep trying
I will continue to be the man my mother raised. I love people and I will try to be kind even when things are not fair. Don’t believe rumors
Thanks for those who stick by me and those that help me grow everyday. I love you.
Off to have fun and smile with friends. I’m human. I feel. I hurt. But I got thick skin too. I can handle it. I love you

Shit, y’all, I don’t want you to see me cryin’ like this. But it’s just so goddamn beautiful. Little mothafucka thankin’ his mothafuckin’ mom. Shit cuts you. Shit cuts you right here. Why can’t y’all let my boy be kind and play human games, yo? Stop your Rudolphin’! Stop that shit right now. My nigga’s nose’s gotta SHINE. #GuideDatSleighBoo

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    Da shit cuts so deep it may be on the way to the center of our planet.

  2. Justin Bieber Mom Pattie Mallette
    Commented on this photo:

    I like the blonde on the left.

    I like her a lot.

    She gives me a chub.

    • Yael Cohen

      That’s her name. She is engaged to Bieber’s manager. Apparently she is no gold digger either as she founded “Fuck Cancer”.

      Smart and pretty.

      Chub!

      • Winston

        She is pretty hot; but if she’s one hanging with Bieber she can’t be too bright.

      • I am curious as to how founding a “charity” because you know they are all legit with such a classy name to boot somehow precludes her from being a gold digger? Unless she or her family has more money than Scooter Braun, then I have to say all bets are off.

      • Yeah…

        but tits.

      • It’s not like she’s rich off founding a charity that doesn’t do much other than print T-shirts and hats.

      • Polk

        Charities are great. People give you money. You pay yourself 90% of the donations as “salary expense”, eveyrone pats you on the back and tells you what a wonderful person you are, and 10% goes to making “Fuck Cancer” t-shirts you sell at events while collecting more donations.

        That’s why every famous retired athlete has a “foundation”. Biggest scam going.

      • according to fuckcancer’s website, they took in $270K, spent 75K on office shit and paying off some sort of debt, 145K on salaries, and 66K on “educational media campaigns”

      • Mighty successful charity they’re running there. While I realize that it’s not a for-profit venture, I’m sure they’re helping tons of cancer patients with negative-$16,000 worth of crass t-shirts.

  3. It’s tough to say this, but Justin might be in the right on this one. I still hate the little shit, though.

  4. Justin Beiber did the right thing? That doesn’t fit with my established narrative that he’s an irredeemable asshole. IT NEVER HAPPENED!

  5. right

    Time to send him home. Yet another Obama failed policy. Foreigners who fail to control themselves within the USA.

  6. Natty Ice

    “OH.MY.GOD. Look at how that hottie is just licking his fingers…”
    “Where??”

  7. Be Warned...

    Bieber’s “Endless Summer” of drugs, whores and parties will end
    soon enough. Let’s see how he holds up after his label dumps him,
    and he’s writing the checks. Once the bodyguards and yes men
    are gone, he will have to defend himself and his actions. (without
    label influence and legal protection). Let’s see how he does the
    first time he commits a felony and they don’t look the other way.

  8. Justin Bieber Mom Pattie Mallette
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he’s sitting on the toilet.

  9. Amanda

    All I am hearing is that this little douche paid off someone who makes minimum wage.

  10. The jeans have an inseam of what, 60?

  11. I’m confused under what circumstances you are not allowed to take pictures of people in public places and what sort of right Biebs has to bitch about it or have his goons request that you stop or take your phone. Take your goddamn money and build your own batting cage or rent out the whole motherfucker if you want privacy, ya little entitled piece of shit.

    On the flip side I’m sure this ordeal is worth a 1.4 million dollar payout after this bitch mom files a lawsuit over it.

  12. joblo

    I know you’re trying to be street, but If people (ppl) can’t understand what you’re trying to say, it kinda defeats the point of writing stuff down, don’tcha know?

    • I’m as white as an albino raised in a cave, and I had absolutely no problem understanding what he was saying. Maybe you should get out more.

  13. “Sources close to Bieber tell us, the singer lost his cool because the flash kept distracting him while he was trying to bat.”

    What kind of cell phone is this lady using that its flash will distract someone? I call Shenanigans.

  14. Justin Bieber Mom Pattie Mallette
    Commented on this photo:

    You go #BBARE — santorum, it’s finger-licking good.

  15. Justin Bieber Mom Pattie Mallette
    Robert Van Winkle
    Commented on this photo:

    ICE-ICE-BABY…

  16. justin

    Who is the blonde on the left?

  17. Because it is impossible that justin Bieber could have paid this person off to make this statement, right?

    For those wondering, the blonde is Scooter Braun’s fiancé.

    • Marketing Mike

      Wow! Scooter better hit that fast and often. She’s damn hot!
      But, she’ll dump him like a bad Enchilada when the $$$ stops.
      Label dumps Bieber’s ass = Scooter’s paydays end forever.
      It’s not like “Scooter” is managing other groups, who tour.
      You know, other artists who still record, and make money.
      Just be patient “El Jefe”, she’ll be looking again soon!
      Time to polish up the boots, and wash the car.
      Your time is coming….

      • Bieber will be broke, Scooter will be rich and just fine and get even richer. Pretty sure he is managing Ariana Grande also and she is doing quite well.

      • Marketing Mike

        So I just looked up Arianna Grande, Oh my….
        She can actually sing, really fucking sing!
        Sorry El Jefe, set your sights a little lower.
        : (

  18. anon

    Fear not folks, it’s only a matter of time till this asshat steps on the wrong toe and someone busts a cap in his ass (or head).

  19. J

    All I see when I look at Justin is Vanilla Ice.

    • Marketing Mike

      Right now, Vanilla Ice has a better career trajectory.
      At least he’s sober, working, and making money

  20. Justin, dude, you can suck on and lick your fingers as much as you want to, but you’ll still never get semen to cum out of them.

  21. Justin Bieber Mom Pattie Mallette
    Commented on this photo:

    “goo goo ga ga”

  22. Mama Pinkus

    He looks ridiculous.

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