Julie Bowen in a bikini

March 9th, 2010 // 169 Comments

Here’s Modern Family star Julie Bowen in Hawaii on Sunday, and this is a woman who should probably remained fully clothed. No, really, up until I saw these, I was under the impression Julie Bowen was smoking hot. Turns out her torso looks like the underbelly of a dragon if dragons came complete with a Kelly Ripa Penis Button ™.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. applesauce

    No, no, no!
    Older women need to keep a healthy amount of body fat. Give it up, honey! You are not 20 anymore.

  2. frightened

    this seriously scares me, take it down

  3. This bitch should be parading her shit at the doctor’s office

  4. Ali Watermelon needs a life.

  5. Essential Cocoa

    Look at the bright side:

    She’s blond.

    She’s fit.

    She’s a ten everywhere but the stomach. butterabs ?

    Her stomach is definitely the result of her last pregnancy. Fat would smooth it out but it would still be round.

  6. mer

    Ugh. Why?

    I don’t even know why I come here anymore.

  7. KeepinTheFaith

    I think with a tan she would look a lot better. Given more time, I think that stomach will come back a little. I would be happy if my wife (roughly the same age) looked this good.

  8. They didn’t say who Jack was married to in his flash sideways. I’d think if it was her she would have filmed some scenes already. I don’t know how many episodes of LOST they have filmed but they can’t have too many left to film.

  9. dane cook

    Someone buy her a sandwich!

  10. rofl

    She needs to gain weight AND lose weight…..I don’t even know how that works

  11. #54 sickitten, there you go again, addressing me out of nowhere. Gen is the one talking shit to you, not me. Yet you STILL type my name out (incorrectly I might add). You’re shallow, unattractive and have wayyyy too much time on your hands. Oh and by the way, your so-called website is crap. Your psychotic induced tangents aren’t entertaining in the least and your web design looks as if it was constructed by a 3rd grader. Find someone other than myself to obsess over, ya delusional broad. =)

  12. duke

    @47 Well that’s sensitive, because that’s obviously her only meal! I’d kick her out after discovering her dried up cooch.

  13. Someone buy her a sandwich!

  14. This is totally uncool. She should have wore a one-piece suit. The skin is really scary and the legs are like those of my grandmother’s. This is totally creepy.

  15. *Cannot be unseen*

    Oh well. We still have Sofia Viagra and Sarah Hyland to keep MF interesting.

  16. She was twice this size last year in April, not bad at all.

    http://www.youtube.com/user/BerlinBarrio#p/search/0/v_s_T3sWYwA

  17. Cali

    I’d much rather see dax shepard in his birthday suit than her in that swimsuit!! check it out, so funny… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO8KzmKgZ90

  18. emme

    She is clearly malnourished and overtrained and looks sickly. Poor woman.

  19. Ann

    Well, she still has a pretty face but I think ‘Ed’ can finally move on with his life now.

    Seriously, what’s wrong with a 1 piece and why do we never ridicule famous men and their beer guts.

  20. rick

    She is obviously exercising while also limiting her protein, which leads to your body consuming its own muscle while defining muscle remains . Her back ribs are starting to show, as well as the front of her chest, her tendons and the look of her arms are obvious signs she needs to adjust her diet and work out.

  21. captain america

    sorry……………………WHERE CAN WE PUKE, folks?

  22. Darth

    Did Madonna find a new personal trainer?

  23. Oh,so cute!I love her. Maybe she want to find more new friends, she is on ***____B B W c h a t s. C O M.____*** . There are many beautiful girls and rich, handsome men,they want to find more friends, find their lover. On that website, they make friends each other.If you are a single now, I think you would come to the website. Please believe yourself, you will find your lover. Come on!!!!

  24. Oh,so cute!I love her. Maybe she want to find more new friends, she is on ***____B B W c h a t s. C O M.____*** . There are many beautiful girls and rich, handsome men,they want to find more friends, find their lover. On that website, they make friends each other.If you are a single now, I think you would come to the website. Please believe yourself, you will find your lover. Come on!!!!

  25. I literally cringed and shuddered. I’m not joking.

    Shirt and shorts…er, better make it pants.

  26. Alex

    She looks good in picture 9. And I agree, it has to be the angles (and the tiny fucking bikini). For me, she’ll always be the uptight hottie golfing tour director for Happy Gilmore.

  27. yuck and a monster, I wonder what SLICKPANDA.COM has to say on the matter, click on my name to find out

  28. havoc

    Corey Haim OD’d and we’re still looking at this chick?

    Get your coffee and get moving Fish….

    .

  29. tsismosa

    no wonder she hates sofia vergara. she’s jealous.

  30. whattheshit

    Wow, that is…unfortunate.

    Thanks for killing my Julie Bowen boner (TM), Superficial.

  31. Dick

    She’s a MILF and still hot for a 40 year old. Her stomach is a mess because of popping out two kids. Give her some time and her body will return to normal. Her legs are good, no ugly cellulite or fat hips. Her face is still good, hope she doesn’t mess with any plastic surgery. As for being so pale, that’s good, don’t want her getting all leatherfaced or a skin cancer. Had a big celeb crush on her while she was on “Ed” and got to see her in person while she was filming “Ed” in Northvale and Westfield NJ.

    • mercredi

      if you look closely above her bikini line you can see her tummy tuck scars. the line goes around the front and is way whiter than the rest of her skin. Also, when women get tummy tucks the skin isnt as attached to the muscle so it tends to have a thin look. And that would also explain why her abs poke out.

  32. Joe C

    Gross!

    No wonder that ugly bitch is always talking shit about Sofia Vergara’s fine ass.

  33. Solo

    And I was finding her very hot on the show. Thanks for killing that….

  34. LMFAO

    LMFAO @ WHITE WOMEN IN BIKINI’S!!
    GET A TAN BITCH. NASTY SKANK HO.

  35. LMFAO

    MY QUESTION IS: WHY DOES SHE HAVE A PUMPKIN STOMACHE? LMFAO

  36. hateyoufornoreason

    My son is sitting next to me coloring, looks up at this picture and says, “What’s that”? Nuff said.

  37. DJS

    @62 Oh come on Duke, your woman looks better than this? If so post some pics!

    PS
    What’s a ‘COOCH”?

  38. Yuck!

    Damn, that;s one of the worst celeb bodies I’ve ever seen. I always thought she was beautiful…

  39. You know, she is at the beach having fun. She is not on the red carpet at the Oscars.
    Leave her alone. I can’t say i’m ready for the cover of Vanity Fair when i go to the beach either

  40. justsaying

    is she pregnant?!

  41. JeremiahStanfieldTheThird

    She looks like Chuck Liddell

  42. ken

    Needs cardio STAT aka running, & toss the weight lifting/stairmaster only workouts. Appears to be on the Atkins diet, way too much protein, judging from the beefed up physique. She should go Vegan & do 100 situps a day.

  43. yyy

    My friend recommended me a very interesting place *** meetingrich.com*** It’s where wealthy singles looking for someone to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle

  44. Blitz

    It should be a law that this woman wears clothing at all times!

  45. cc

    Hmph, Close Encounters of the Third Kind was real I guess.

  46. xiannian

    I’m a BIG single girl, and need a real man to love. Are you interesting on me? Feel free to view my sexy personal photos at ______B la c k W h i t e D a t e . c O m ____by searching “TinaOE” which is for men to meet big women for love , for fUN ONLINE

  47. lol

    your mothers look like whales compared to julie bowen.

    keep delusional forever, ingrates

  48. very informational!!… educative as well, i read and felt like reading over and over again….good job!

  49. ashley

    THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!
    you’re fucking evil for insulting this woman.
    but it shows how very few REAL women you have ever seen without their clothes on.
    it shows that the only undressesed women you’ve got any experience with are the ones you see in porn or who the media spoonfeed to you.
    this chick had TWINS not teven a year ago!
    she looks AMAZING!!

    how can you even send this message to people??
    how DARE you?!
    you should be ashamed of yourself.

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