Julian Assange’s Penis Turned Pamela Anderson Into An MRA

Remember how we just got done listening to Jenna Jameson’s thoughts on Milo, Muslims, and the KKK? Well, you’re about to relive that experience because Pamela Anderson is now an advocate for men who are falsely accused of rape thanks to her “friendship” with Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange. It’s really cool how that guy helped shove America into Trump’s tiny orange grasp, and now he’s going to get me called a “white knight cuck” when I say that there couldn’t be a less persecuted group on the planet than guys falsely accused of rape. Turns out, they only make up about 2% of all rape and related sex charges, so yep, this is going to be a shit show. Via Page Six:

In an interview on Russia’s RT network, Anderson said that Sweden — where WikiLeaks founder Assange is accused of sex crimes — “has these very progressive laws against sexual crimes, whatever you want to call it. It’s almost too progressive, it’s almost paralyzing,” she added on the “Going Underground” show. “I’m going to actually start campaigning for men who have been victims of being accused of rape when they haven’t actually done anything.”

Am I wrong to think it’s goddamn astounding for Pamela Anderson, herself a rape survivor, to defend a guy who went as far as seeking political asylum to not face his own accusers? Yes, the Duke lacrosse team. I know, I hear you screaming over there, but hang on for a second. Isn’t it a far larger problem that rapes are still only reported at around a 40% rate of occurrence thanks to a fucked up justice system and culture of victim shaming? Yep, you’re right. I just say this around the drum circle to get laid. That wasn’t a Stanford study or anything. Okay, try this angle then. This Anderson quote is pulled from an interview on RT, the Russian state-controlled media network who actually talked to her while she was wearing this:

Pamela Anderson Paper Hat

That would be a paper hat with party cutlery glued to it, which is meant to encourage people to “switch to green energy,” so let’s not act like this isn’t some high level Russian espionage shit where they continue to make America look like total jackasses to the rest of the world. But hey, if you guys want Pam Anderson’s crazy eyes on your team while you shout down women who say they’ve been raped, go for it. I’ll be over here attaching some of her artful nudes to this post, because that’s how much sense something has to make to get published on the internet. Confused? Just look at the cake and boobs.

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Photo: Getty, Vijat Mohindra / Paper