Joss Stone Almost Stabbed in Backseat of Fiat, ‘Prom Night All Over Again,’ Quips Sexy Blogger

For those of you just joining the Internet, Joss Stone was targeted in an insane kidnap/murder plot because apparently British celebrity news is out to make America’s look like bloody wankers this week. The Sun reports:

Cops found swords, rope and a body bag when they swooped on the pair at around 10am yesterday near the star’s isolated country home.
The men, aged 33 and 30, also had detailed maps and aerial photos of her rural property in east Devon.
The suspects had travelled from the Manchester area 200 miles away.
Police insiders said they were arrested on suspicion of planning a terrifying raid on Joss, 24, who has a £9million personal fortune.
The alleged plot was foiled by sharp-eyed neighbours who saw two black men acting suspiciously in a red Fiat Punto.

Wait. Joss Stone’s neighbors called the cops because they saw two black dudes in a car? I guess our customs aren’t so different after all…

AMERICAN: Don’t go out there, slim. I just saw me a colored fellow.
BRIT: My word. I shall ring Scotland Yard at once!
AMERICAN: Well, dadgum, I reckon that’d be my reaction. Put her there.
BRIT: Top form, old chap, top form.

And begin world peace.

Photos: Splash News

Tags: Joss Stone