Josh Hartnett is suing the Daily Mirror for printing a story that alleges he had sex in a hotel library and was caught on CCTV. Here’s the supposed eye-witness report:
“Unfortunately the hotel has security cameras all over the place – the library included. This means their every spit and cough was recorded, and cringing hotel workers saw all of Josh’s X-rated moves. Josh didn’t seem bothered that the library wasn’t locked and anyone could just burst in. He just kind of went for it.
“After the event, someone had a quiet word in Josh’s ear and he was asked to take his personal business elsewhere in future. Josh took it on the chin and didn’t kick up a fuss. He’s been as good as gold since.”
Josh’s lawyers filed the lawsuit today and he’s seeking damages along with a public apology, according to the BBC:
The allegations are “not only untrue but a complete fabrication”, said his legal representatives, adding they were “defamatory and unsubstantiated”.
Jesus, Josh Hartnett, you don’t deny a story like this. You confirm it then fill in the parts that were left out: Like the fact that the woman in question was really five women and afterwards you found the Holy Grail using only your motorcycle and a broadsword.* Or you can do it your way and look like a wienie. Whatever.
*Fact: All my dates end with an epic quest, ladies. (Epic quest may or may not involve trying to locate the clitoris which is near your belly-button, right? No, wait, don’t tell me. I know this one…)