Josh Duggar Admits Using Ashley Madison, Blames Porn Addiction

“And that’s why we have to stop homosexuals from ruining the sacred institute of marriage. Now who’s down to fuck? I like bubble baths.”

When all you have to do is say “sorry” to your imaginary best friends, it makes it real easy to admit to doing colossally hypocritical shit like working for the Family Research Council and espousing the holy virtues of your Christian upbringing while having a secret past of molesting your sisters and actively looking for strange on Ashley Madison because sky buddy’s going to make it all better. Which is why Josh Duggar has already released a statement apologizing for his actions but really blaming it all on porn. Via The Duggar Family blog which I’m copying and pasting in its entirety because fuck these people:

[Ed. Note: After widespread “LOLWUT” from the entire Internet, Josh’s original statement has since been replaced with an edited version which is conveniently missing all that stuff about porn and Josh admitting to molesting his sisters at age 14-15 which doesn’t jive with the Duggar family timeline of “He was only 12!” Story developing because, wow, what a ball of shit. – SW]

Statement from Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar:

Please see the statement below from our son Josh regarding recent media stories about him. When we learned of this late last night our hearts were broken. As we continue to place our trust in God we ask for your prayers for Josh, Anna, our grandchildren and our entire family.

Statement from Josh Duggar:

I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.

I am so ashamed of the double life that I have been living and am grieved for the hurt, pain and disgrace my sin has caused my wife and family, and most of all Jesus and all those who profess faith in Him.

I brought hurt and a reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust.

The last few years, while publicly stating I was fighting against immorality in our country, I was hiding my own personal failings.

As I am learning the hard way, we have the freedom to choose to our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences. I deeply regret all hurt I have caused so many by being such a bad example.

I humbly ask for your forgiveness. Please pray for my precious wife Anna and our family during this time.

Josh Duggar

Jesus Christ. Even when they’re coming clean (poor choice of words), these people are still spinning. Notice how all of this is porn’s fault because clearly it possesses magical Satan powers that force men to cheat on their wives against their will, and not oh I dunno, the fault of a repressive Christian upbringing that demonizes sex to the point where it’s totally natural for your dad to tie your hands together if you’re caught masturbating. Nope, can’t be any of that. Not that any of this matters because everything’s still coming up Josh. His wife’s not allowed to leave him, and she just had a kid, so it’s prime baby-making time or be cast out into the streets where they’ll be weeping and gnashing of teeth. The bastard probably closed his laptop and whistled all the way into the bedroom. “Welp, that was mildly inconvenient. Time for my Godly duty! Doot doot doo… I wonder if she’ll take the nightgown off this time… doot doot doo…”

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