Josh Duggar’s Wife Won’t Leave Him
When we last left Josh Duggar he was confessing to cheating on his wife with an Ashley Madison account provided your definition of confessing is releasing a statement blaming porn only to take it down and edit out the porn part along with any conflicting timelines of when you molested your sisters. Page Six reports:
In the original version, posted Thursday, the 27-year-old admitted, “While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife.” Now that sentence reads, “While espousing faith and family values, I have been unfaithful to my wife.”
But that’s not the only bit of editing done to the mea culpa. Gone is a detailed reference to the molestation scandal that engulfed Duggar and the rest of his family earlier this summer, when he admitted to molesting underage girls when he was a teenager.
Previously Duggar had said, “I brought hurt and reproach to my family, close friends and the fans of our show with my actions that happened when I was 14-15 years old, and now I have re-broken their trust.” The sentence current stops at the word “actions.”
Except naturally the story doesn’t end there because remember when Josh apologized back in May and said that all his transgressions were behind him? What he really meant was, “Haha! I had a secret Facebook page to meet strippers with, and I’ll just say sorry to Jesus again when everyone finds out. Whee!” Radar reports:
Josh admitted to signing up for cheaters website Ashley Madison with the email address [email protected], and there is a Facebook account registered to that address under the name Joe Smithson.
According to the profile, “Smithson” was posting on the site as far back as 2004 — four years before Josh married Anna.
“Smithson” is friends with 32 women, mostly attractive and young, and from the area of Arkansas where he lived before leaving for a political career in Washington, DC.
He’s also a follower of a dancer at Sensations Gentleman’s Club in Arkansas, a lingerie model, and a curvy blonde blogger.
And while all of this would be grounds for “worldly” women to leave their husbands and take his vagina clown car ass to the cleaners, Anna Duggar has been taught to never do any of that because she’s Josh’s property, and Jesus gave her vagina to him to use and ignore as he sees fit or else she’ll burn in a lake of fire forever. No biggie. PEOPLE reports:
“Anna will not leave him,” says the source. “As with her in-laws, she is turning more to her faith than ever. She and Josh are probably praying around the clock right now, I would assume.”
Not only will Anna stick around, but she’ll slowly start to blame herself per the tenets of her faith. Let’s see gay marriage do that!
The source says that from their knowledge of Josh and Anna and the Duggar family, “no way is she leaving him” – adding that it would not come as a surprise if “on some level” Anna tries to “absorb some of the blame.”
“Maybe not publicly, ever, but privately, there will be some suggestion of whether or not she should have been more aware of the pressures Josh was under, of the issues he was facing, and how she could have better counseled him or helped him,” says the source.
Fortunately for Anna, Josh made a list of all the ways she clearly failed him, so I’ve reprinted them here out of hopes that she’ll get to “Bubble Bath For 2″ and run screaming out the door because that shit is pure Satan. FLEE FROM HIS DARKNESS, WOMAN!
“Conventional Sex,” Experimenting with Sex Toys,” One-Night Stands,” “Open to Experimentation,” “Gentleness,” “Good With Your Hands,” Sensual Massage,” “Extended Foreplay/Teasing,” “Bubble Bath for 2,” “Likes to Give Oral Sex,” “Likes to Receive Oral Sex,” “Someone I Can Teach,” “Someone Who Can Teach Me,” “Kissing,” “Cuddling & Hugging,” “Sharing Fantasies,” “Sex Talk.”
Psst. “Someone I Can Teach” was your cue to lock yourself in a room with the kids and shoot the first stupid pieface that tries to get in. Daddy pieface wants more than side hugs.