Jose Canseco Shot His Finger Off

“Come into my world, flower. If you can handle it.”

There’s an even more sick and disturbing Honey Boo Boo update coming up, so before I darken everybody’s soul with that (The Superficial: I’mma Put My Pain In You), let’s laugh at an idiot shooting his own finger off because natural selection is hilarious. TMZ reports:

Former major league slugger Jose Canseco blew his middle finger clear off his hand while cleaning his handgun at home in Las Vegas.
Jose’s fiancée Leila Knight tells TMZ Sports … he was sitting at a table in their home cleaning the gun when it went off. She says he didn’t know it was loaded — and the shot ripped through the middle finger on his left hand.

And while this could’ve ended very badly for anyone else in the room, or the next house over, as this shit does, I’m not even going to get on my soapbox about gun control and instead offer a friendly suggestion: If you’re the type of person who’s terrible at remembering simple instructions like “be sure the child is securely fastened before starting the vehicle” or “always check the chamber,” don’t own a fucking gun. In fact, just don’t even touch them. They’re not for you. This colorful bouncing ball on the other hand? All yours, champ. Go nuts.

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Photo: Getty