Jordan wants world’s longest wedding dress
Jordan, the UK version of Pamela Anderson, allegedly wants her wedding dress to be over 2,545 ft long, setting a new world record for the longest wedding train. Accoding to The Sun, the previous record was set three years ago by a Dutch bride, but Jordan wants to beat the length when she marries her fiance Peter Andre in September.
“Jordan looks amazing in the dress,” a friend of hers says. “No one will believe how huge it is until they see it. She wanted her special day to be remembered by everyone and she has certainly made sure of that. Jordan is going to need a lot of bridesmaids.”
There was a time when I thought bigger was better too, but then one day I was eating my table-sized pancake for breakfast and thought to myself, “You know what. Maybe this pancake is too big.” Then again, Jordan’s humongous boobs have been treating her pretty well so maybe the going big thing works for her. I guess drifting into fame on her breast size isn’t enough though, so Jordan wants to solidify her position as a pseudo-celebrity by making a mockery of her wedding as well. Since she seems willing to do just about anything for attention, she might as well just start eating kittens. Not only would she become even more famous, she’d also get to taste delicious kitten meat. It’s a win-win situation.