Jordan Bratman Beat Christina Aguilera?

If the fact that Hans Moleman here was having sex with Christina Aguilera hasn’t been hard enough to absorb, it turns out he might’ve also been beating her making him pretty much the perfect dream man. Or at least that’s what RadarOnline seems to be implying with this report on Christina’s trip to the hospital days before she announced their separation:

“Christina was bleeding from her mouth and had a bit of a busted lip,” a source, who saw the couple at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, said.
“Jordan told the nurses she had fallen down.”
According to the witness, Aguilera was sporting “bumps and red bruises” along with her bloodied lip.
“Shortly after they arrived to Cedars, Christina’s ‘private surgeon’ arrived to put a few stitches in her lip,” the source added.
Adding to the mystery of why the singer needed treatment, on October 12, she was photographed wearing a hat pulled down over her face with what appears to be a small cut below her lower lip.
That is the same day that she and Bratman announced the end of their five-year marriage, citing “irreconcilable differences.”

Even though this is exactly what the Mole-People want me to think, there’s no way in hell Jordan Bratman is our generation’s Ike Turner. Either Christina actually did fall down, or this was a one-time thing after she discovered the secret plans to the diamond drill he was building to penetrate the Earth’s core. In which case, I’ll assume they were in lowlight thus giving him the advantage. Damn their beady eyes!

Photos: Splash News