Jonathan Rhys Meyers sees right through you

November 12th, 2007 // 87 Comments

Jonathan Rhys Meyers attended the premiere of August Rush last night in New York. Way to stare directly into the camera. Makes me believe you’re not completely tripped out of your mind right now. Oh, hey, what’s that look? You’re a wizard now? And you’re looking into my soul? That is some freaky shit. Listen, there’s someone I want you to meet. His name is James Haven. Yeah, Angelina Jolie’s brother. I want to see what happens when you two occupy the same space. Maybe you’ll merge into one, or, God willing, explode.

Photos:, Getty Images

  1. Missy


  2. LOL

    Lmfao at 1, “First”.

    Get a life. =P

  3. Donkey Ass

    He’s ugly and pale

  4. Athena

    Way to induce uncontrollable eye-watering, Jonathan.

  5. Village

    He was on Regis zonked out of his mind. He was practically jumping out of his skin. I thought he was extremely nervous. Or on uppers.

  6. Alli

    I don’t care how freaky he looks in these pics; i want one.

  7. mc

    totally on drugs.

  8. northernlight

    Blech! I watch him on Tuesday nights on The Tudors, on the CBC. You don’t notice how ugly he is when he’s in that 15th century garb, with all the hair and makeup work. Still and all he’s a pretty good actor.

  9. Going ATM can really pop your eyes!

  10. theShizaan

    Cocaine’s one hell of a drug!

    at least he used Visine

  11. RENEE Z...

    My guess is if they would be occupying the same space they would end up doinking each other. Man love, I tell you. Man love would happen for sure.

  12. DontTazeMeBro

    Dear god get that man some sunglasses! Better yet, take him to the ER because he is tripping major balls on some good stuff.

  13. korina_jebediah

    what happened to this guy?
    Used to look somewhat atractive, now i find him repulsive and totally douchebag material. Whats with the staring? Who do you think you are?
    James Haven?
    His poises are beyond ridiculous and thats a lot of saying for a model.
    Somehow reminded me of Stuart from Mad Tv -”Look what i can do!!”
    and then he strikes a Zoolander poise.

  14. lola

    Fish, I love you, you’re hilarious…truly…writers strike? not here…hahaha

  15. feg

    ha! what a crazy cat.

  16. DontTazeMeBro

    #11 Not just man love but the greatest staring contest known to man would take place.

    Angelina would be standing next to her brother licking his ear while Brad Pitt would be standing in a corner crying and begging for it to stop.

  17. MrE

    Seriously… what the fuck is he doing?

  18. amma

    …#13, you are hysterical!!!! This guy looks whacked–you nailed it, Stewart+Zoolander…hahahahah;)

  19. juanita112

    I just laughed until I cried reading your post. Hilarious. I’m scared of him.

  20. L.Linus

    He just saw Britney without her panties on, sitting next to Rumer Willis and Sara Jessica Parker. That would make anyones eyes point out or just start bleeding!!

  21. DeadPlasmaCell

    Soo is this that “surprised” look people say you get when you get botox or whatever??

  22. Cat

    Now this is what I describe as being psycho and completely out to lunch… and in need of some valium:)

  23. yep

    lmao! that was funny as hell, superfish

  24. Pedro McChang

    That douchebag’s probably been working on his “thousand yard stare”. A lot of actors believe it is an important part of their toolkit. Me, I think it’s dumb as hell.

  25. endoftheshityear

    Haven + Meyers = remake of the ending of “Scanners”

    another one out of the park, Superficial
    i barely know who this fucktard is
    and i do know i don’t particularly care
    keep the stream-of-barely-to-marginally-knowns coming

    the only thing about BSpears left to talk about
    is in 10 months when there is her Princess-Diana-like
    “her life was so tragic, and cut so very short”
    post-mortem bullshit

  26. 23apples

    That child next to him in the 5th picture seems to be attempting to show him up for the creepiest stare award.

  27. Spongebob Gangsta

    Who’s looking at HIM?

    I like his little hottie yoko ono-ish chica he’s got there. Nice.

  28. Jen

    Uh, I think my future husband might be a tad HIGH. LOL! Is it wrong that I find it funny??? I still plan on marrying him.

  29. alaina

    is that his first time on the red carpet? is he afraid that he’ll blink and his picture would turn out with eyes closed?

  30. azasufem

    He’s on something.

  31. lulu

    WOW..I think he was in Cosmopolitan this month and he looked HOTT! He just looks weird and unattractive here. DAMN you photoshop….

  32. Shannon

    He looks like he’s on coke. Hopefully just a bad picture?

  33. beth

    He’s usually hotness! Why am I so frightened of him now? There’s a hole burned into my soul…

  34. Sister Sweetly

    here i am, just minding my own business, looking at celebrity gossip pages and BHAM i get this shit?

    that’s just scary. and not very nice to do to somebody, thankyouverymuch.

  35. makemepuke

    Jonathon….easy does it on the coke my man.

  36. jackinthegreen

    helloooooooooooooooooo, GAY!

  37. Alex

    LMAO dude that was some funny shit, when I saw the pics I thought that they put those 2 freaks together maybe let them stare at each other for 2 days and see who laughs first.

    Anyways, great post man lol

  38. Tiffany

    Always put my eyes on this sexy and perfect man. LOVE YOU FOR EVER. BTW, someone told me that you appear on the celebrity and millioniare dating site called ( Is it really you? If it’s true, I will send an email because the profile looks sincere, attractive and sexy. Charlie sheen already found his girl at that site

  39. shady

    dude hes on drugs usually hes hot

  40. Ript1&0

    Guys, I had a thought, I know it may seem amazingly out of place…

    If we’re wondering what the deal is with this guy, why don’t we just ASK him?

  41. justtheobvious

    Who’s the new fag on the block?

  42. Advertise Somewhere Else

    Hey you, assholes advertising millionaire match site, go fuck yourself in your nostrils.

  43. scooby

    man white people are fucking wierd. look at this guy! some scarey shit.

  44. golden-rod



    it sho nuff ain’t no picnic lookin’ at a picture of jesse jackson — his eyes are on the side of his head !!!!!

  46. Miguelito

    Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is very handsome. I hear he met that fat Indian serving wench on That’s also where he met his dealer with whom he often trades favors for drugs. That’s also where he met Woody Allen.

  47. a bit faggot - ish

    His acting coach probably instructed him to always “smile with his eyes”…and get restolyne injections.

  48. IWONKY

    Overheard amid shrieks of agony in a hospital emergency room in Smalltown, USA

    DOC: My my, those are some really seriouss gore holes you got there young man. Whhhheere’d ya get ‘em?
    GUY WITH TWO SMOKING HOLES SEARED THROUGH HIS SKULL: Seriously doc, I was just looking at a picture of this creepy dude on The Superficial website, and all of a sudden I smelled burning flesh, my own burning flesh!!! Then I felt the worst feeling, the worst feeling I ever felt in my life. Two holes were being seared right into my head, right through my skull!!!
    DOC: Hmmmmmmmmmm, did the fellow also wear tights?
    GWTSHSTHS: Tights? TIGHTS!!! Are you fucking kidding me? Tights? (He grabs the doctor and puts him in a choke hold) I have two smoking holes in my head you quack, and you think I took the time to notice if the guy was wearing tights? Oh my head, the pain…,
    DOC: Yes, (gag, cough) and it is also (cough) important, (cough) to know what color the tights, (gag) were.
    GWTSHSTHS: (Loosens grip slightly) all I noticed was his boner.
    DOC: A boner too?
    GWTSHSTHS: Yes, a boner too.
    DOC: Mmmmm, I know who did this! It has to be that Jonathan Rhys Meyers. No one else can burn holes in people’s head with a simple photograph of his death stare. That’s a dangerous weapon and it needs to be harnessed before it falls into the wrong grubby little hands.
    GWTSHSTHS: Yes, could you imagine the tragedy that would ensue if Britney got ahold of this death stare and combined it with her pussy glare? OH, the Horror!!!!

  49. Ok, here we go. Yes this dude is creepy. Yes, he makes me want to hit him in the face with an iron skillet,. but really no more at this particular point than I want to hit #9 for trolling me. That being said, I got (and you all know this,) NO
    Problem with Trollicide

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