That Guy from KUWTK is Changing His Name to “foodgod”
Since I started writing for this site I’ve acquired a sad and unhealthy wealth of knowledge on the happenings of the Kardashian family (as well as hemorrhoids). Throughout my “research” I’ve noticed this guy, Jonathan Cheban, as a tertiary player in the Empire of Ass. I always figured Cheban was just Kim Kardashian’s top bitch, and his entire existence revolved around feeding off the fame scraps she left behind… kinda like the mutualistic relationship of pilot fish and sharks. Turns out he’s a real person who is legally changing his name to “foodgod” (no, he doesn’t capitalize the F).
Cheban’s reasoning, sorry… foodgod’s reasoning is that because he Instagrams himself at restaurants all the time, then he might as well look like an idiot every time he goes to the DMV… also Kanye told him to.
“… foodgod tells us he’s getting ready to sign the necessary paperwork to permanently take on the moniker, which he tells us was given to him by Kardashian’s husband, Kanye West.
‘Everyone calls me foodgod; scream it in the streets and run up to me in restaurants, and I want people calling me foodgod when they write about me — not Jonathan or ‘BFF,’’ he said.” (from PageSix)
Is everyone good on this? Do we need to go any further? Don’t call him Jonathan if you see him in the streets or at a restaurant, call him foodgod and he’ll ignore you all the same. He does know that nobody cares, right? The people already have a foodgod and he’s sitting courtside at most Lakers games eating fried food…
**All hail the one true foodgood, creator of heavenly ham. He is the divine of the delicatessen and the giver of gravies. Bow down and taste thine golden tenders.**