Jon Lovitz beats up Andy Dick

July 17th, 2007 // 129 Comments

Jon Lovitz beat up Andy Dick last week at the Laugh Factory after Dick made a comment about the murder of Lovitz’ SNL friend, Phil Hartman. Apparently last year Andy Dick went up to Jon Lovitz and, according to Lovitz, “looked at me and said, ‘I put the “Phil Hartman hex” on you – you’re the next one to die.’ I said, ‘What did you say?’ and he repeated it. I wanted to punch his face in, but I don’t hit women.” Then when the two ran into each other at the Laugh Factory last Wednesday, Lovitz was expecting an apology for the comment and when he didn’t get one he flipped out. Page Six reports:

Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, “Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose.” Lovitz told Page Six, “All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is a [bleep]hole.”

This one’s a no-brainer. Andy Dick is the biggest waste of human life since OJ Simpson and Jon Lovitz is awesome. Plus he was in those Subway commercials. Trying to figure out who to root for in this one is like trying to decide between a cute little kitten playing with a ball of yarn and Hitler.


  1. With all due respect and knowing this is off on a tangent the name O.J. Simpson SHOULD be relaced with a name like Charles Manson or Ed Gein because O.J. Simpson/his stories may SEEM to be weird but a Freddy Krueger/Hannibal Lecter type person DID murder his wife/friend and SO MANY people get ‘fitted-up’ that he feared being ‘fitted-up’ for a murder that he did not commit and fled from the scene.

    U.S.A. is very far from perfect. In 1999 in U.S.A. I got libeled as a “fraudster”, “violent”, “liar” plus much more by a man that had already served two jail terms for libeling me there.

    George W. Bush is rumored to be a staunch member of an international crime syndicate plus much more.

    O.J. Simpson is such a good person that I, as a U.S.A. resident-with-Green card, would in the right circumstances, recommend he be considered as President. Much better than Richard Branson I think. Eh?! What’s Richard Branson got to do with this? Read: Richard Branson – The True Story, a top-quality U.S.A. book about him and his Virgin-baloney that was marketed in U.S.A. from early 1996 to early 1997. There must be many copies still in existence in U.S.A.

    I will say no more.

  2. E

    Andy dick was in chicago at a night club and went to a cash station where a young lady was in front of him. He grabbed her chest and said “what? I’m famous”…

    This guy is a DOUCHE and Jon LOVITZ RULES!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. jen


    I hate Andy Dick so much. I love John Lovitz even more now.

  4. Dizzybenny

    #47Hopefully He’ll continue on this path of enlightnement and take down Carrot Top next.

    that comment f***ing rocks!! :P

  5. PR Diva

    I’ve met both before. Andy really is a dick and Jon’s a nice guy. About time someone kicked Andy’s ass. Andy always seems to be milking Hollywood for all it’s worth. He probably likes this free PR!

  6. Danklin24

    This guy is my new hero. Its about time someone kick the shit out of Andy Dick because he is A Dick. Do you see what i did there? Because A Dick are his initials. What a fucking tool.

  7. wedgeone

    YES! Where’s the video of this beat down? We can get video of Michael Richard yelling “Nigger”, but no footage of Andy Dick’s face getting turned into jelly?

    Viva Jay Sherman! Viva Jon Lovitz! Viva Jay Sherman!! Viva Jon Lovitz!

    How could Andy Dickless crack on Phil Hartman after having worked with him? If what #30 says is true, shouldn’t Dickless be charged with some crime? Shit – you see that happen on “Law & Order” all the time!

  8. wedgeone

    YES! Where’s the video of this beat down? We can get video of Michael Richard yelling “N_i_g_g_e_r”, but no footage of Andy Dick’s face getting turned into jelly?

    Viva Jay Sherman! Viva Jon Lovitz! Viva Jay Sherman!! Viva Jon Lovitz!

    How could Andy Dickless crack on Phil Hartman after having worked with him? If what #30 says is true, shouldn’t Dickless be charged with some crime? Shit – you see that happen on “Law & Order” all the time!

  9. wedgeone

    Wow … crazy.
    Fish blocked my 1st post because I had the word “N-i-g-g-e-r” in it without the seperators. I wasn’t even being racist – just recounting what Michael Richards said.

    Damn web-Nazi’s.

  10. TryingToBeHelpful

    I haven’t seen “The View”, but if you click through to the Page Six thing, the whole story about cocaine is there.

  11. HeavenScent

    WAY TO GO JON! I loved him in the Wedding Singer
    You do not I repeat DO NOT disrespect Phil Hartman man….all that awesome talent wasted by his coked out wife….and whoever made the comment about Phil being dead? No shit Sherlock, that’s why he deserves respect when mentioned, not rude comments from some scrawny, unfunny jerk.
    “Hi I’m Tro McClure, you might remember from such bar room brawls as “Andy acts like a Dick!” and “Hell hath no fury like Jon’s fist”

  12. Sleepyhead

    Jon Lovitz, Agent of God. Please tell me someone got this on tape.

  13. whitegold

    #9 makes me laugh. Stop posting “first”, it’s just stupid. And the “frist” thing, yeah, that was funny like 4 months ago when it first happened, but it’s lost the humour and now people just do it for now friggin reason. Just stop with the first posts. Say something entertaining or insulting or whatever instead.

  14. ReekyKiki


  15. ReekyKiki

    #52 what in gods name are you talking about?

    Great jibberish though..

  16. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    I wonder if any one screamed “You can do IT” while he was pummelling the Dick.

    I would have.

  17. buzzgirl

    It’s weird. Andy Dick was working with Phil Hartman when he died (News Radio). I remember him showing up for a scheduled appearance on Letterman a few days later and being almost catatonic with grief. Was he full of shit then, or now?

    What a jerk.

  18. We-Le-Surrender....

    Wow… From where you least expect it, eh?
    Much respect John Lovitz. Much respect.

  19. If Lovitz get prosecuted the entire planet will show up as a character witness.

  20. Professor

    Lovitz is a bad nigga

  21. Christ on a Crotch

    Holy Shit, I want to fuck Jon Lovitz.

    Who would have even thought he had it in him? HOLY SHIT I’m so impressed.

    Andy Dick had his moments, but he needs to go.


  22. Christ on a Crotch

    Maeby #47, have you SEEN Carrot Top? He’s huge. He’s like a watermelon, next to a turnip. He’s ripped and looks like a monster.


  23. Irvin

    I love Jon Lovitz, he was great on the animated series “The Critic” =)

  24. jenn

    #68: Thanks for that fuller story. If Jon Lovitz walked up to me and told me our friend’s death was all my fault, I might make an off-color joke about how death follows us around, too.

  25. Boogie

    Can we give Lovitz some sort of medal for this?

  26. JPoker

    If only he wasn’t such a white boy.

  27. Gma

    It is so sad. I saw a tv program recently where Andy Dick was trying mightily to get into a limo with another star, attempting to go t a party at his home. When shoved out of the limo, he begged to be allowed to get back in, to go to the party. I’m wondering if the “fight” he picked with Lovitz was a pitiful attempt to get some attetion, some publicity.

  28. he said he'd say no more

    #66, it is pretty good jibberish, but still, do we want to prompt for more?

  29. julia

    #42…….I love you

  30. ryan


  31. maeby

    # 75. I don’t know how Carrot Top got so big.. But his bulked up physique merely supports my claim that he eats human babies for protein..

  32. cc

    You go, Jon Lovitz!! Fifty points! Andy Dick has been desperately begging to get himself pounded for a long time now. Someone finally did it, maybe it’ll teach him to stop being such an obnoxious moron.

  33. Jon Lovitz FTW!

    I owe you a beer, sir!

  34. Dan

    He didn’t really beat him up…. it was just…..


  35. Dan

    He didn’t really beat him up…. it was just…..


  36. Gregrie

    A Dick is a dick, and the only one low enough to fuck him is Sarah Silverman. Way to go Jon, do it again!!!

  37. Kate

    Phil Hartman is the only person for whom I am actually pissed off is dead. I hope the younger kids in this group remember and appreciate how fucking funny this man was. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer? His Frank Sinatra impression? Frank Sinatra: Shut up! Okay, issue number four: Milli Vanilli. What is this faggot crap? Uncle Fester!

    Sinead O’Connor: I don’t understand the question.

    Frank Sinatra: I’ll tell you what you better understand! Next time you see Old Glory riding up that pole, you better sing that anthem, darling! You’re lucky you’re a chick, or you’d be nothing but a stain on the road and a crewcut. Our founding fathers went to the mat for you, baby!

    Sinead O’Connor: It’s not my flag – I’m Irish.

    Frank Sinatra: Oh? Well, then stay off of this stuff.. [ mimes drinking ] That’s the curse of you people. Billy Idol!

    Andy Dick is a waste of just about everything. He was only funny on NewsRadio because of Hartman.

  38. Kate

    FYI, if you want to read the whole skit, its here:

  39. Scubasteve


  40. woodhorse

    Thank you so much for what you did some posts up Wally. You’re still my hero but now Jon Lovitz is too.

    I remember in an interview shortly before his death that he said before every SNL show, he got down on his knees and said the Lord’s Prayer. Not only was Phil Hartman a comic genius, he was humble and down to earth. I would pray for a few more like him!

    Andy Dick may have now achieved the recognition he committed social suicide for (many times) – he is now in the league with Mark David Chapman, Yoko Ono, Ike Turner, Michael Jackson, O.J. and assorted scum.

  41. leelee

    I never thought it would be possible, but that Jon Lovitz just proved himself to be a very sexy man.

  42. Gear

    Love you Mr. Lovitz. But why didn’t you finish the job, Dickhead is still among us.

  43. JaneaneTheAcerbicGoblin

    Andy Dick is the epitome of the “professional celebrity”. Obnoxious, desperate for attention, no discernible talent other than being an overbearing prick, and filled with chemical substances. He’s basically a male version of Courtney Love, except he’s never been married to a musical genius.

  44. buzz_clik

    I’ll admit I’ve never been the biggest Lovitz fan – I think he’s only good when applied in just the right situation, and even then sometimes it needs to be a relatively small dose. But dammit after this hot little slice of celebrity life he’s just served up, I think I’m going to have to become evangelistic about my sudden enthusiasm for his greatness.
    Dude’s a dark horse, and I think I want to bear his children now. Yes, I’m willing to go through the surgery that will make this possible.

  45. ss

    Lovitz was terrible in News Radio. They should’ve left the cast one short instead of trying to replace Phil Hartman. Andy Dick was better on News Radio. (Lovitz’ character was kinda like a rehash of Dick’s character).

    That said, Dick’s a hack. Has funny moments sometimes, but it’s pretty rare. And from what I’ve heard he’s NOT gay… he’s bi? I forgot where I read that, but I remember someone saying Dick’s definitely bi.

  46. Nunya

    I’m glad everyone still loves Phil!

    Lovitz definitely has earned some cool points with this one


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