Jon & Kate’s sham marriage details

June 19th, 2009 // 65 Comments

As the extra special/probably the divorce episode gets ready to air on Monday, details of Jon and Kate Gosselin’s marriage have been slowly leaking out. The two haven’t slept together for month and planned on announcing their separation in July, but hey, ratings don’t grow on trees. They fall out of your vagina. RadarOnline reports:

“Jon and Kate haven’t slept together in months. Jon doesn’t even like to come in the house when Kate is there,” the source told RadarOnline.com.
Their on-screen fighting and bickering pales in comparison to the off-screen chill that exists between them, and Jon has done everything he can to avoid his wife, according to the source.
The marriage has been dying slowly for a while, says the source. In May, Kate’s brother and sister-in-law, Kevin and Jodi Kreider, told RadarOnline.com that, “Six months ago Kate came to Jon and said, ‘Hey, it’s over.’” But the couple stayed together and RadarOnline.com learned that they recently moved up the time table for splitting, as tension between them grew.

In the meantime, Gawker reports that Jon is already scoping out apartments in Trump Towers in hopes of picking up college chicks. Because nothing attracts women more than a desperate man with a verifiable track record of producing multiples. It’s like Spanish Fly if Spanish Fly was supposed to make you run the fuck away and sew your uterus shut.

superficial

  1. Zee Brat

    Do not want.

  2. Super

    Ugh, I hate her hair.

  3. So she’s single now? Excellent…

  4. Stuey

    I couldn’t be happier that this train wreck will end and go away.

  5. sixpack

    I jacked twice to her bikini pics. I want to bury my head between those sausagey thighs.

  6. A small inset of Leighton Meester’s natural pout should be feature on every post today,,,but i can only dreamz…

  7. Mike

    I’d pretend she was one of her kids and spank her ass until she cries! Then I’d say “you want a drink? HERE’S YOUR DRINK!” (still haven’t decided if it should be semen or urine, but I’m leaning toward urine.)

  8. Amy

    Yeah yeah yeah…Jon and Kate hate one another but kept it together for the money. Yeah yeah yeah, she’s a bitch and he’s a desperate chimp who actually thinks college girls want a loser with 8 kids. These people are ridiculous. I say we ship them to North Korea to a work camp.

  9. shift

    Who cares?

  10. JJ85

    Um he only produced multiples because they underwent multiple furtility treatments

  11. sally

    she looks asian in this pic…without makeup her eyes are small like chinese or something.

  12. sally

    she looks asian in this pic…without makeup her eyes are small like chinese or something.

  13. Pat C.

    Is there any marriage that hasn’t been wrecked after being on a “reality” show?

  14. Sam

    What a fucking joke. Does anyone remember when TLC meant the Learning Channel? And they didn’t whine that their biggest “stars” were from a fucking reality show? Know what I learned from this? Don’t watch TLC.

    Also, her god awful trendy hair makes her head look like a duck’s ass.

  15. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    @1 I want her
    @2 I love her
    @4 Step in front of a train, that should at least help it go away for you.
    @5 not if I get there first
    @9 Ok, how is what they did different from the millions of rocky marriages today
    where money is involve
    @13 But she still looks damn good.
    @14 Let’s see. The Waltons, that was classic fake if I ever saw one.

  16. Autumn

    I hope she shaves her head like Britney did, after k-fed takes her eight kids away.

  17. Shep

    I think my favorite part of the show will be when Jon or Kate says the phrase “Us staying together and constantly fighting isn’t healthy for the kids” Or something to that effect and then everybody else with a brain thinking to themselves “oh but completely exploiting them for money is?” hahahaha, should be a classic tv moment.

  18. Bones

    Just the idea of eight babies coming out of that vagina one after the
    other. *shudders*

  19. CutiePatutie

    This is exactly what she wanted from the get go…to have those kids to herself. Nothing he ever did was good enough. I don’t question how much she loves her children, but one has to ponder if you love your children so much, wouldn’t you treat the father who stood by you when you needed someone the most like a human being. I don’t know if John cheated Kate, or if Kate cheated on John, but I do know they have done a disservice to themselves, their children, and their fans….it should have never gotten to this point…Kate has some inner demons, and John really needs some self-esteem counceling. I believe they can get back to basics and rediscover what brought them together, but it’s going to take shutting off the cameras…and be candid with each other…there is always hope, but hey have to apply the hope inorder for it to work.

    Good luck!

  20. Alex

    Its funny how people diss Kate’s hair but dont say crap about the mop top on Michelle Duggars head. I was hoping they would patch things up for the sake of the children. And of course, some of these comments are no better. Worry about YOUR marriage and children.

    I would love to see a scandel about those Duggars

  21. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    @20 I think that was the problem all along, “John has no self-esteem”. If you’re in a relationship and don’t stand up for yourself the other will run all over you. Not because they can, but because you let it. I’ve been there. If John would find his balls, and put Kate in her place she would respect him and they would make this work for real.

  22. CrunchPop

    @5 – I think the food you’re thinking of is “cottage cheese”, not sausage.

    This lipo’ed chopped-hair hag looks like a man who can’t decide if he wants to go femme….

    hideous.

  23. georgie

    she looks pretty good without makeup on

  24. Laura

    Oh, give them a break already.

    What if they stayed married, but separated, so they each had time to think before they divorced? Maybe Jon had to experiment and test the, “Maybe the grass is greener on the other side.” theory, before he was sure. They did marry at a very young age. Maybe they thought suddenly dropping the ‘divorce bomb’ on their children may be an irresponsible and selfish way to parent.. and thought spending time alone with the children may in fact show them that its possible to have both a mommy and a daddy even if they’re not married. Or maybe they stayed married for the tv show and therefore the money, WHICH THEY NEED to shelter, feed, clothe and educate their 8 children.

    Either way, its sad when marriages end. People change. Life goes on. There’s not always an evil scheme afoot.

  25. @22: “If John would find his balls…”

    It’s no secret where John’s balls are. They’re in a jar in Kate’s purse.

  26. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    @23 Put your bifocals on before commenting dammit.

  27. Allen Spinchter

    Im feel lucky that I dont know who the hell these losers are and have not wasted even 1 second watching any of there shows. This kind of crap shows that so many people that watch this crap on tv are just like them. LOSERS!

  28. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    @28 and yet here you are reading this shit written by a bunch of losers. Welcome to the club. LOSER!

  29. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    @28 and yet here you are reading this crap written by a bunch of losers. Welcome to the club. LOSER!

  30. Prettybaby

    The episode where Jon got a bike from OCC was awesome. He kept making cuts on her calling her the Black Widow and shit. FUNNY!

    I despise her haircut also….. Oh and #21, Michelle Duggar does have some jacked up hair but there is a big difference between her and Kate. Kate is a BITCH who de-balls her man on every opportunity.

  31. Rob

    holy shit she looks beat as fuck there. Someone forgot to do their make up one morning…

    I’d still hit it though… for the money. lol

  32. Prof

    Jon faces the 21st century relationship catch 22 for men. If Jon stands up and acts like he has a pair then every women that has ever watched Lifetime, Dr. Phil, or (heaven forbid) Oprah would have called the guy verbally/mentally abusive. If Jon sits back and takes the shit trying to be the bigger person then people will say he has no balls and he’s a punk. If he actually does what I suspect he wants to do and that’s grab her by that ridiculous hair cut and smack the taste out her mouth until she starts crying just like she made her kid do…THEN he’s an abusive husband that committed domestic violence and must go to jail, because their are few sins greater then a man hitting a women blah blah BLAH! If I was Jon I would just say fuck it & hang out in bar with 20 something female “friend” too!

  33. Ted Kennedy's Tumor

    The reason Sponge Kate – Square Hair keps her hair that way is so when you mount her from behind, there is nothing to hold on to and you lose interest and go away.

  34. Even Steven

    “Jon and Kate haven’t slept together in months. Jon doesn’t even like to come in the house when Kate is there,”

    Am I the only one who took “come” to mean “jizz?” As in, “Jon won’t even jerk off when Kate is around.”

    Because that’s some serious hate. Good on him.

  35. Kelsey

    He’s looking for apartments at Trump Towers?? TLC must be footing the bill for that one.

  36. Deva

    I hope her ratings plummet, she loses the show, then all her money. Culminating with her killing herself and giving those kids a chance at life.

  37. Jamie's Uterus

    Trump Towers? They do not have that kind of money. TLC pays crap. Unless she made a ton on those stupid books.

    Enough with these two, they are so over.

  38. amoi

    It’s hard to find a shred of respect or pity for people who willingly allow thousands (I hesitate to say ‘millions’) of people watch their marriage unravel on national television. I guess once you get a taste of fame it’s hard to let go. I wonder how either of these folks will regain any sense of dignity.

  39. Schadenfreudelicious

    @19..umm…not too familiar with multiple births are you??…your shuddery vision of 8 babies coming out of her vagina can go away now…there is this lil procedure called a…. wait for it.. C-Section….

  40. captain america

    She’s applying for the job of: CALL-GIRL, folks!!

  41. Kathie

    I wonder how long Jon would take Kate putting him down when sitting in the “CHAIR” about time Jon finally said enough, now what do we see Kate abusing the kids on TV, if she is doing that on TV what is going on behind close doors. Jon took his time with the kids, he played with them as long as they wanted too. Kate 5mins time to clean up, sorry she is a bitch and those kids should go to JOn, if he is a good father (which he is) he will fight for the kids and win, how well most of the abuse is on film, come on the kid wants a drink and want does the bitch do- ask for a bottle of water takes a drink and puts it away, all the girl wanted was 1 drink, nope Kate I am sure did it to be a bitch – how mean, if no one steps in those kids are in for the fight of their lives. Take them all away all Kate wants is money and she can not have money without those kids, Jon would like this to all go away and live a normal life with no film crew in his house, I would take off too if she was around.

  42. Kathie

    I wonder how long Jon would take Kate putting him down when sitting in the “CHAIR” about time Jon finally said enough, now what do we see Kate abusing the kids on TV, if she is doing that on TV what is going on behind close doors. Jon took his time with the kids, he played with them as long as they wanted too. Kate 5mins time to clean up, sorry she is a bitch and those kids should go to JOn, if he is a good father (which he is) he will fight for the kids and win, how well most of the abuse is on film, come on the kid wants a drink and want does the bitch do- ask for a bottle of water takes a drink and puts it away, all the girl wanted was 1 drink, nope Kate I am sure did it to be a bitch – how mean, if no one steps in those kids are in for the fight of their lives. Take them all away all Kate wants is money and she can not have money without those kids, Jon would like this to all go away and live a normal life with no film crew in his house, I would take off too if she was around.

  43. Nero

    A Trump Towers apartment would be quite generous of Kate.

  44. Gando

    In many countries around the world.Proper child support laws would drastically decrease the number of newborns.The number of divorces would increase.Women would less financially depend on men,less frustration and more happiness and better role models for kids.It would encourage the use of safe sex.There would be less orphans as well.

  45. GG1000

    I truly, deeply, fully in my soul do not give a Flying $%^& about these pathetic famewhores. Please, I beg you, yes me, who defended your covering Speidi, do NOT give these jackasses one more microgram of publicity. Who CARES?

  46. piper

    All of thier poor kids should go to someone with the ability to care for them, and this media whore cunt and her gook ex need to GO THE FUCK AWAY already!

    • Jay

      Wow, you just had to bring race into this, pathetic. So which pisses you off more, them being bad parents or that she slept with an Asian? Think before you respond, idiot.

  47. Rebeee

    Uh is she dressed in the same color scheme as her iphone? Bitch has WAY TOO much time on her hands..even with 8 baby sasquaches.

  48. anonymous

    i honestly want to kick both of them in the teeth

  49. eurotrash

    gross

    no seriously, never mind that she birthed multiple bratz, this is a decidedly unattractive, angry looking bitch that has like less than zero sex appeal……….c’mon, is anybody really going to fuck her again after the multiple births vs she fucked a jerk-off semi-asian dude with no penis ??/

    i think not

    ick squared

    • Jay

      So I take it you are gay and have sucked off mucho Asian cocks to come to that conclusion, right? You are a fairy.

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