Jon & Kate Gosselin need to work on their ‘No affair here’ faces

May 4th, 2009 // 88 Comments

After rumors of an affair hit last week, there’s no doubt Jon and Kate Gosselin’s publicist told them to appear in public together to smooth things over. Brilliant plan except someone needs to tell Kate she needs to get the “I just found out my husband has been giving free mammograms out of the garage” look off her face. Turns out that doesn’t suggest a happy marriage. Who knew?

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Bosco

    Apparently she is keeping him. The vagina wants what the vagina wants….

  2. sin

    She treats him like a dog. She cuts him off when he is speaking and thinks nothing of it but she goes ape shit when he does it to her. She has to have everything planned out days in advance and if he does one thing out of order get chews his ass out.
    He should just turn around, look her straight in the face and say: ” Shut the Fuck up, you stupid Bitch”.
    I wonder if he was fucking that cute little helper they had.

  3. Darth

    Ugly morons!

  4. Jamie's Uterus

    She treats him like crap on the show, I can’t imagine how awful she is when the camera is off. Good for him, he got a little pink taco on the side.

  5. Laura

    Forget about Jon..he’s not worth the effort.

    Now that hunk that is at Kates side all the time (gorgeous silver haired man)..I’d love to follow *them* with a camera and get the real scoop.

    One other thought: I thought their book publishers were Christian publishers?

    Wonder how this is playing out with them??

  6. interesting

    Interesting how all you misogynists are jumping on the “Kate is ugly” bandwagon. She’s no beauty, but what, that fetal alcohol syndrome looking mofo is attractive? Please…

  7. RegularGuy

    @38 Well behaved children? They are screaming brats and one of the the oldest girls is turning into quite the little back-talking smart ass. Gee, wonder where she gets that?

    All those kids look like Kate drank .. heavily .. during the pregnancies.

  8. dirk

    Jon and Kate plus BAR WHORE!

  9. mr. slippy fist

    just sittin’ here on the couch with crumbs on my white wife beater thinkin’ what should I be watchin’ tonight?……
    ………………………………… ..Con and Irate + hEight ?,
    …………………………………. 18 Braincells and Counting ?
    …………….or………………….Little People Big Wallet?

    Hmmm,,,,,, who do I hate least?

  10. Jon

    Hey people, chill out.!..I was just demonstrating to a freind how I park my small sports car in her tight little heated garage

  11. janet

    -just as in the photo—and on the show. Why does Kate constanly have that claw upside down- It’s like in her mind she has Jonboy by the balls- I’d sleep with one eye open If I were him- one above the waist

  12. viewer

    the black toenail polish on those hooves turns me on. and those hair horns sprouting from the top of her head? Wicked. Kate has just made the anti-christ watchlist.

    anyone missing burgundy kitchen curtains?

  13. JConn

    I worked on the show. And trust me, Kate really IS that bad. There was always a joke that the next season was going to be called “Kate Plus 8″.

  14. dontlooknow

    Well, if he didn’t want all those kiddies he should have zipped his peenie into a sandwich bag. Total justice after the divorce? He gets custody of the children.

  15. Mike Hawk

    Cancel the show and televise the Octo-Vag. It has to be more entertaining than these two.

  16. Jeem Bawb Dugger

    Have 10 more. It’ll save yur marriage .Be fruitful and multiply Gozzlins, God will Pro-vide.

  17. Dude

    This woman is such a horrible cunt it’s no goddamned wonder this idiot would do whatever he can to GTFO.

  18. K

    There is no excuse for cheating, period. If you don’t want to be in the marriage, leave. Doesn’t matter if Kate is nasty or not. Be a man and leave the relationship, instead of humiliating your school aged children.

  19. Mmmmmhmmmm

    She’s a bitch and he’s a completely lazy tool. If she wasn’t using all the TLC money on spray tans and bad haircuts and oversized mcmansions I’m sure he’d clean out the account and make a run for it. IF he wasn’t such a moron I might feel bad for him. Her level of bitch is his level of tool – they might actually be a perfect match. Poor kids. She’s a WITCH!

  20. Kitty

    She is the biggest flaming cunt in the world. No wonder he cheated. I bet she takes his penis away from him when she’s not using it.

  21. Shannon

    Give me a break…there is no reason for cheating. So you don’t like your wife…go to a therapist, separate, get divorced like many people do. Just because you don’t think Kate is a happy person, you are only seeing what is played on TV. There is no need to cheat. It is so selfish and you are not thinking about your kids that are depending on you.

  22. Smithy

    STOP DOUBLE POSTING

  23. Smithy

    STOP DOUBLE POSTING

  24. mrs. whiner

    What happened to “We’ll take a FAMILY VOTE at the end of every season; if
    anyone is unhappy about continuing the sham I mean show, we STOP. OUR SHOW is our life and OUR LIFE is the show.” Where’s that rule, huh?
    More like OUR LIE IS THE SHOW AND THE SHOW IS OUR LIE.
    So called “fans” are as SELFISH as Take: those children are miserable and getting more screwed up by the day. They need and deserve to have what’s left of their childhoods back. But noooooooo…the “fans” must have their “fix” of more and more J&KPlus8. That’s right – the hell with those kids; Hate wants MORE money and “fans” want MORE “entertainment.” HA! What a JOKE!
    BTW, WHY do people say “the kids are soooo cute”??? Those kids have NEVER been cute, just numerous. At 5 yrs. old (next week), they are UGLIER than ever. With two parents as ugly as J and K, HOW do you get “cute” kids? You DON’T! They are also the worst behaved kids, too. Two of the most INCONSISTENT Ding-Dongs for parents = BRATTY, WHINEY, HITTING, SLAPPING, PUSHING, SCREAMING, CRYING and IRRITATING MONSTER children. I used to watch the show on “MUTE.” Now I don’t watch at all. You say “oh, the kids are sooo smart.” NO, they’re NOT. They’re developmentally, emotionally,and intellectually “RETARDED” in every area. And it’s NOT because they were “preemies.” It’s because their parents KEPT THEM DOWN so they’d be “more marketable” for television. Idiot people want to watch “babies.” Selfish KON gave you “babies.” Now, they’re 5 YR. OLD high chair sitting, bib wearing, sippy cup drinking, nap taking, tantrum throwing, unintelligible speaking BABIES. Can anyone say HOMESCHOOL and life-long intensive THERAPY x’s 8? Oh yeah, Take’s Mother of the Year, alright. And Yawn? What an immature, not to mention UGLY, UGLEEEE, idiot TOOL!!!

  25. mrs. whiner

    What happened to “We’ll take a FAMILY VOTE at the end of every season; if
    anyone is unhappy about continuing the sham I mean show, we STOP. OUR SHOW is our life and OUR LIFE is the show.” Where’s that rule, huh?
    More like OUR LIE IS THE SHOW AND THE SHOW IS OUR LIE.
    So called “fans” are as SELFISH as Take: those children are miserable and getting more screwed up by the day. They need and deserve to have what’s left of their childhoods back. But noooooooo…the “fans” must have their “fix” of more and more J&KPlus8. That’s right – the hell with those kids; Hate wants MORE money and “fans” want MORE “entertainment.” HA! What a JOKE!
    BTW, WHY do people say “the kids are soooo cute”??? Those kids have NEVER been cute, just numerous. At 5 yrs. old (next week), they are UGLIER than ever. With two parents as ugly as J and K, HOW do you get “cute” kids? You DON’T! They are also the worst behaved kids, too. Two of the most INCONSISTENT Ding-Dongs for parents = BRATTY, WHINEY, HITTING, SLAPPING, PUSHING, SCREAMING, CRYING and IRRITATING MONSTER children. I used to watch the show on “MUTE.” Now I don’t watch at all. You say “oh, the kids are sooo smart.” NO, they’re NOT. They’re developmentally, emotionally,and intellectually “RETARDED” in every area. And it’s NOT because they were “preemies.” It’s because their parents KEPT THEM DOWN so they’d be “more marketable” for television. Idiot people want to watch “babies.” Selfish KON gave you “babies.” Now, they’re 5 YR. OLD high chair sitting, bib wearing, sippy cup drinking, nap taking, tantrum throwing, unintelligible speaking BABIES. Can anyone say HOMESCHOOL and life-long intensive THERAPY x’s 8? Oh yeah, Take’s Mother of the Year, alright. And Yawn? What an immature, not to mention UGLY, UGLEEEE, idiot TOOL!!!

  26. mrs. whiner

    What happened to “We’ll take a FAMILY VOTE at the end of every season; if
    anyone is unhappy about continuing the sham I mean show, we STOP. OUR SHOW is our life and OUR LIFE is the show.” Where’s that rule, huh?
    More like OUR LIE IS THE SHOW AND THE SHOW IS OUR LIE.
    So called “fans” are as SELFISH as Take: those children are miserable and getting more screwed up by the day. They need and deserve to have what’s left of their childhoods back. But noooooooo…the “fans” must have their “fix” of more and more J&KPlus8. That’s right – the hell with those kids; Hate wants MORE money and “fans” want MORE “entertainment.” HA! What a JOKE!
    BTW, WHY do people say “the kids are soooo cute”??? Those kids have NEVER been cute, just numerous. At 5 yrs. old (next week), they are UGLIER than ever. With two parents as ugly as J and K, HOW do you get “cute” kids? You DON’T! They are also the worst behaved kids, too. Two of the most INCONSISTENT Ding-Dongs for parents = BRATTY, WHINEY, HITTING, SLAPPING, PUSHING, SCREAMING, CRYING and IRRITATING MONSTER children. I used to watch the show on “MUTE.” Now I don’t watch at all. You say “oh, the kids are sooo smart.” NO, they’re NOT. They’re developmentally, emotionally,and intellectually “RETARDED” in every area. And it’s NOT because they were “preemies.” It’s because their parents KEPT THEM DOWN so they’d be “more marketable” for television. Idiot people want to watch “babies.” Selfish KON gave you “babies.” Now, they’re 5 YR. OLD high chair sitting, bib wearing, sippy cup drinking, nap taking, tantrum throwing, unintelligible speaking BABIES. Can anyone say HOMESCHOOL and life-long intensive THERAPY x’s 8? Oh yeah, Take’s Mother of the Year, alright. And Yawn? What an immature, not to mention UGLY, UGLEEEE, idiot TOOL!!!

  27. Cori

    Who wouldn’t look like that with a camera pressed up to their face. I really just think the media needed something new to chew on, so people should just keep their comments to themselves. Nasty horrible rumors, and comments don’t resolve squat.

  28. fly on Kate's wall

    “this is too much, the cameras, the fans ,the gossip,THAT’S IT !!,were getting a mansion in Maui” “it’s for the kids and they deserve it”

  29. jimbo

    I bet Snoop Jonnyjon has a strong pimphand. He loves his ho’s but where’s his bitches? He gotz his mind on his hosebags and his hosebags on his mind. wooord

  30. YurBabee.

    Gawddd Johnn. Keep Yur Dick In Yur Fuckinn Pants Cochino. && Kate Get a Gawd Damn Haircut. Its Like Mullet Gone Bad. Badder Than It Was Before.

  31. YurBabee.

    Gawddd Johnn. Keep Yur Dick In Yur Fuckinn Pants Cochino. && Kate Get a Gawd Damn Haircut. Its Like Mullet Gone Bad. Badder Than It Was Before.

  32. Celeste

    Can you imagine the verbal lashing he is getting now? Yikes!
    I read in a magazine article how the last bit of Jon’s bad judgment was just “innocent” and he was “posing” with “fans”. Maybe it’s true, but I wouldn’t blame him for wanting to blow off some steam at the bar once in a while.

  33. Mary

    Didn’t Kate say on Oprah.” I don’t have a nanny and I’ll never have one”? Who’s with the freakin kids all the time?

  34. Leasi

    Besides the kids not being allowed in the queens’ bedroom under severe punishment threats, Jon can be added to that list too,that is until he gets tested and cleared of disease which is most likely what really got her grandma panties in a bunch.

  35. booya

    I hate her hair so very, very much.

  36. Hallie

    She’s not wearing her wedding ring on her ring finger

  37. Reiko

    Imagine how hard it would be to co-ordinate 8 children, and a husband. I think she has gone overboard and become controlling and obsessive, but I also think she tries to control everything due to the complete lack of control in her marriage. He is SO passive-aggressive, and complacent. She needs help and therapy. Someone needs to step up and help her with the children (wow, isn’t that a husbands job), and she needs to realize that controlling everything isn’t going to make her happy (therapy). I feel for both of them, because so many children and television cameras have trapped them into a relationship where they are stifled.

  38. KatieIreneLuvsSteve

    Well, nice to see Steve is there to protect his lovah, Katie, from her nasty ol’husband. Does she have Steve punish Jon for her? Jon gets sent to the garage apartment while Steve goes to the master suite to continue to protect Katie’s body from Jon? LOL @ Katie needing her body guard when her husband is there!

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