Jon & Kate Gosselin need to work on their ‘No affair here’ faces

May 4th, 2009 // 88 Comments

After rumors of an affair hit last week, there’s no doubt Jon and Kate Gosselin’s publicist told them to appear in public together to smooth things over. Brilliant plan except someone needs to tell Kate she needs to get the “I just found out my husband has been giving free mammograms out of the garage” look off her face. Turns out that doesn’t suggest a happy marriage. Who knew?

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Mike Hawk

    john and kate plus eight…and that other chick

  2. She always looks like that, hence the cheating.

  3. Randal

    Randal needs to work on his ‘Don’t give a hoot about these two’ posts.

    Randal

  4. Michelle

    I see that hair transplant he got while the show aired came in nicely.

  5. Dr. Truth

    Kate is such a miserable cunt. I have never seen someone as awful as her.

  6. Freekity geeek

    I love Jon’s lame excuses about why he has been seen out partying with other women. Uhhhhh, I was just showing her my car. And by car, I mean penis. SpongeKate Squarehair’s so embarrassed, she looks sunburned. Oh no wait, she IS sunburned. 8====D <——Jon’s wandering peepee.

  7. kingofbeer@gmail.com

    Can you imagine the child support he will be paying. hahahaha

    say goodbye to the 1.5 mil house

    oh and if the judge is female and a fan of the show! so toast!

  8. Meredith

    The name of the new show is going to be John Minus Nine.

  9. Deacon Jones

    @5
    Exactly. It’s situations like this that cause sane men to fake an elaborate death. (Case in point, see faked plane crash 3 months back).

  10. Michael

    Seriously have you ever seen the show? She always looks like that. No news here.

  11. Stating the Obvious

    What’s the deal with her hair? It’s like party in the front, chopped up nightmare in the back. Reverse mullet?

  12. Dr. Broom

    You wanted to be a celebrity, right? Well, you’re a celebrity. Enjoy. These two have no one to blame but themselves. For anything. Not for their gaggle of turds, not for their shitty marriage, and not for the scrutiny they are currently receiving.

  13. Lola

    @ 11

    I was thinking the exact same thing… Oh, dear.

  14. justifiable

    #11,13 My first thought was that she went too far with the control thing and tried to dictate terms to the ceiling fan. And lost.

  15. Jennyjenjen

    That haircut is so 90′s skater.

  16. Mortimus

    what a biaaaatch

    the worst kind of bitch too.. the fertile kind.

  17. Jess

    She is awfu0l and abusive! Stop making money off your children its WRONG! My lord people need to look into the shows they watch and support. They have been horrible to all their family & friends all in an effort to exploit there kids and make money. Shame on Jon & Kate

  18. Jess

    She is awfu0l and abusive! Stop making money off your children its WRONG! My lord people need to look into the shows they watch and support. They have been horrible to all their family & friends all in an effort to exploit there kids and make money. Shame on Jon & Kate

  19. kels

    kate is so fuggers. totally needs to get rid of that flock of segulls hairdo and smile more often. keeping it real…he’s not that cute either.

  20. kels

    kate is so fuggers. totally needs to get rid of that flock of segulls hairdo and smile more often. keeping it real…he’s not that cute either.

  21. Team Jon

    No no, no. Jon won’t owe any child support! Didn’t anyone see the episode where they were going somewhere around the 4th of July, and she wants the kids’ hair done perfectly, and she spits out the command to Jon, “Bring me MY children so I can do their hair. THANK YOU.” She admitted right there, he had nothing to do with HER spawn. Go Jon! Run away! Get away from that seething, fire-spitting, infant spewing control freak. Just sayin’…

  22. Missystar

    That is one rough-looking hag, but he’s no prize either.

  23. alex

    those pictures are very misleading. I think he should get the benefit of the doubt that maybe he was just showing her his…..who am I kidding. He hit, and he hit it good. He took out all his frustration from his cunty wife and he banged that chick 6 ways to Sunday. Also, it goes without saying she’s pregnant with four or five kids now.

  24. Carolyn

    Looks like he plucks his eyebrows. Asswipes.

  25. Kari

    “I hate this show so much! Especially in season 3 episode 10 zillion when… (continue to quote the show.)” I don’t know about you but I love to watch entire marathons of shows I can’t stand. You’re really just pissed you love it orrrrr you’re mad at your dad.

  26. anonymous

    Run, Jon, RUN!!! Away from that miserable, controlling cow with her reverse mullet that she apparently thinks is “cool”. Kate? Howard Jones called, and he wants his hair back.

  27. Jim

    I bet her pussy nags as much as her mouth.

  28. Racer X

    Ha Ha!!

  29. rktekt04

    The way she constantly rips him a new one on TV every week would make just about any man decide to get the hell out of the house. Seriously, the guys gets treated like one of the kids every damn day of his life. What’s the alternative, running the car in the garage? Oh, wait, that big ass van won’t fit in the garage!

  30. Phil

    He looks and dresses like a big homo. I’d check to see if he’s blowing guys!

  31. Lesley

    well most celebritys (and im not saying they are ones, just are followed a lot) are not happy when they see they are being follow by pap most days, unless your paris hilton who milks it up 24/7.

    doesnt mean their marriage is in shambles, just means they want to get into their car without 20 people following them

  32. Lesley

    well most celebritys (and im not saying they are ones) are not happy when they see they are being follow by pap most days, unless your paris hilton who milks it up 24/7.

    doesnt mean their marriage is in shambles, just means they want to get into their car without 20 people following them

  33. b

    This should be a CLEAR message to all bitch wives that think their sissy husbands will put up with their bullshit forever. Good for you John!

  34. WTF

    Probably a staged viral marketing ploy for their next “reality show” “Jon & Kate + Marriage Counselor”. And idiots will watch.

  35. You people are full of shit saying that she is ugly and nasty!
    Try taking care of 6 screaming mutts all day and 2 when they come home from school and see if you woman looks half as good.
    I would tear that ass up and I’m not afraid to admit it like all you others.

  36. Tracy

    I usually am as mean as everyone else out there… but I hope it’s all fake. I loved watching the show when my son was a baby. It always showed me I could be a good parent and deal with whatever comes. They have so far. As for doing the show to exploit their children… their kids wouldn’t get to do so many awesome things if they weren’t on the show. I am sure that is a big part of what originally kept them going with it. I would have my children taped too if it meant they got free trips everywhere!!

  37. hindesky

    She is a controlling, whiney, clean freak bitch with a short temper. Can you blame the guy for wanting some strange. After 8 kids he probably has to strap a 2×4 on his ass to keep from failing in when they bump uglies and I bet her uglies are really ugly after 8 spawns.

  38. Seriously

    Idiots. They have 8 kids…..they are raising intelligent and well behaved children. I commend both of them for being so frank and able to speak their minds to each other and about each other. Quite making mountains out of mole hills…..

  39. JC

    I can’t imagine how bad her body is after a mega-multiple pregnancy.

  40. Dr McNasty

    This is gonna turn into Jon Murders Kate Plus Eight Before Turning Gun on Himself.

  41. Steve

    “Can you imagine the child support he will be paying. hahahaha
    say goodbye to the 1.5 mil house
    oh and if the judge is female and a fan of the show! so toast!”

    Actually PA’s Custody laws are income based. Last time I checked Jon is the one with the 6 figure job…and I’m not expert,but I don’t think there is a job out that that pays well for someone to be a salty bitch 24/7…too bad for you Kate.

  42. justifiable

    #41 I dunno, Mistress Kate would be an asset to any dominatrix dungeon, but the benefits suck.

  43. sdtangler

    Kate is a self-absorbed control-freak. While she yammers on incessantly, Jon gets the 1000-yard stare. I feel for the guy.

  44. Kristen

    Maybe she has that horrible overly tanned monster face because she has the worst goddamn haircut on the face of the planet.

  45. Valerie

    @16: she isn’t fertile at all. Every single child they have was conceived thanks to fertility treatments.

    @37: When you have that many babies that need birthing, they c-section you. All 8 of her kids have been c-sections.

    @ 39: She’s had a tummy tuck.

    Rarely would I agree that a man has been driven to cheat…. grown men are responsible for their own actions and shouldn’t blame anyone for the choices they make. But seriously… this vinegar-twat ought to be glad that her bullshit attitude and tyrant behavior only drove her husband to cheat instead of homicide. Because I would seriously have to maim that bitch after just 30 seconds of hearing that screeching.

  46. I’m sorry to say this but “CRIME” will never be evicted from him, folks!!

  47. Jacq

    did one of her kids cut her hair while she was napping? Shit.

    She’s a bitch and embarrasses him on the regular. I would totally expect my husband to cheat on me if I acted like that.

  48. phillygurl

    What is with Kate’s hair? It is like a reverse mullet!

  49. jennifer hammond

    It amazes me how some people think these women “naturally” conceive that many babies at one time and every single baby out there is born vaginally. Wow, its scary how stupid some people are. lol. Ever hear of fertility treatments and c sections?

    And Kate’s hair cut really is skanky. Its one of those ” I like to pretend Im a black girl and fuck black guys” haircut. lol.

  50. say what

    @46 I’m sorry to say this but you make no fucking sense like about 99.7% of the time

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