Jon Gosselin having a small penis has become so universally known that it’s literally costing him money at this point. Via The Huffington Post:
If Playgirl ever asks Jon Gosselin, 32, to pose nude, he may be a little insulted by the offer. “We discussed it, and we’d offer him only $20,000,” Playgirl rep Daniel Nardicio tells Life & Style exclusively. “His star is extinguishing, and he’s not very [well endowed]” — as Jon’s exes Hailey Glassman and Kate Major both recently revealed. “Honestly,” says Nardicio, “it’d be more of a novelty than an actual sexy shoot.”
Wait. Someone’s paying $20,000 for pictures of tiny pensies? Excuse me while I call every single woman who’s seen me naked and proceed to laugh in their face.
*picks up phone*
This might take a while. “Hello? Mom? Guess what…”
Italians do it better | March 4, 2010 at 3:05 pm
FIRST!!! ORCODIO!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA | March 4, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Too funny
Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy
And to have to live with everyone on the planet knowing you have a tiny penis!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
poop | March 4, 2010 at 3:07 pm
i just farted and i might have pooped my pants i need to go ask my mom if she can clean me up.
although she enjoys my poop. sometimes she likes to smear it on her lady parts and let the dog lick it off.
Walter | March 4, 2010 at 3:19 pm
How do they know the size of his penis?
The Geekologie Writer | March 4, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Jon — $80 for a night with the Stegosaurus backpack.
Anon | March 4, 2010 at 3:33 pm
As i’ll never read Playgirl all i’m interested in is that Playboy never ask his two exs to pose nude. I see enough fried eggs at breakfast and have been in the channel tunnel before.
Richard McBeef | March 4, 2010 at 3:36 pm
They would have to pony up a lot more than $20K for me to pose as jack-off fodder.
Medical Examiner | March 4, 2010 at 3:46 pm
He has the bloated face of someone found a week after drowning in the swimming pool.
http://www.wtflmao.com/data/thumbnails/8/110107_man_drowned.jpg
victor von shroom | March 4, 2010 at 3:50 pm
bwah ha ha ha…there are THREE separate ads for “The Marriage Ref” on the superficial main page….what a terribly unfunny show (and so clearly desperate for viewers, if that many ads are showing up on thesuperficial)…
i’m so glad to see “executive producer jerry seinfeld” fall flat on his unfunny face with this one….what a hack….
“MEDIUM TALENT!!!”…
Anon | March 4, 2010 at 3:52 pm
#8 haha, he does.
victor von shroom | March 4, 2010 at 3:52 pm
correction: there are FOUR ads for it (one is way down at the bottom)…god-DAMN….
Colin | March 4, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Not that I have any trouble believing that Jon has a teeny weeny weenie, but are we really going of the word of Hailey Glassman and effing KATE MAJOR? I mean, she worked for Star; she used to get PAID for making crap up about people.
g-diddly | March 4, 2010 at 4:42 pm
If mags can photoshop the freckles off of our favorite crackskank, then I’m sure Playgirl wouldn’t have a problem photo enhancing the size of his dick. Has it occurred to anyone that maybe he was only offered $20,000 because he’s a short, fat fuck? Danny Devito would be more of an intriguing model than this worthless pile of shit.
michelle | March 4, 2010 at 4:42 pm
too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and he is Asian…………………..
jeremiah | March 4, 2010 at 5:14 pm
No such thing as an asian with a big cock
doo doo | March 4, 2010 at 5:15 pm
#3 I love your posts and they are actually the best on this site as of late! You are one step ahead of Randal who knows how to post poop all the time. Keep it up!
out of work agent | March 4, 2010 at 5:39 pm
#16 is really Jerry Seinfeld.
donkey | March 4, 2010 at 5:42 pm
#3 is really Jerry Seinfeld.
Racism Against Asians. | March 4, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Could this website be anymore racist towards Asians?
You wouldn’t dare printing tripe like this about blacks or whites.
justifiable | March 4, 2010 at 5:56 pm
I have no doubt that Jon Gosselin has a small dick, but with all that pudge packed around it, it probably looks even smaller than it is. Playgirl’s paying him $19,998 too much.
justifiable | March 4, 2010 at 6:10 pm
#19 Oh, bullshit. You need to distinguish between the posts and the actual website content coming from the Fish. Yeah, a lot of racist dicks post here – and they dare to print tripe about whitse and blacks in turn because there’s no monitoring here. Some get called on it by others. Some don’t – so step up and start calling some specifics if you really see them, don’t just sit back and whine about generalities. Unless you think there’s some kind of subliminal message here from the writer about Asians having small dicks at work here, you’re getting worked up over anonymous posts.
P.S. The Fish recently smacked (white) asshat John Mayer around as well as figuratively kicking the shit out of (black) Chris Brown and (black/asian) Tiger Woods. No one gets out alive if they’re a douchebag.
bruce lee is watching you | March 4, 2010 at 6:20 pm
#15 Clearly you’ve never seen asian porn. gay or straight.
Richport's Ghost | March 4, 2010 at 7:58 pm
Wow, what a newsflash. An Asian guy with a small dick.
No worries, Jon-san…. Arabs & Indians (Indian Indians) are smaller.
RPG, over & out
MArk | March 4, 2010 at 8:26 pm
It’s true, no one would dare make fun of a black/white guy like that here. Has to do with America itself. It only supports Whites and Blacks…
All blacks are on Welfare and the white man pays for it.
Mark | March 4, 2010 at 8:31 pm
#14 Yes it’s true no one would dare make fun of a blck/whgite on this site/in media like that because America only has support for WHites/Blacks. You know, all blacks are on welfare and whites pay for them. WHat a world.
Tiff | March 4, 2010 at 10:04 pm
#15 – My BF is full Asian and he has a bigger cock than any White dude I’ve been with. I know the majority aren’t bigger than average, but some definitely are.
GamerEdie | March 4, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Maybe it’s not his penis that’s too small, but the rest of him being so LARGE! Jesus, does Ed Hardy make clothes in “superduper-mega husky”?
sam | March 5, 2010 at 2:07 am
this guy was bald last year , were did he get all that hair.
uggs outlet | March 5, 2010 at 2:30 am
He’s above the hyper-publicity and is in a happy relationship.
Supra Vaider | March 5, 2010 at 3:41 am
Nice work guys!
this is just Amazing!
Thanks
Jimmy | March 5, 2010 at 4:22 am
Many ex-girlfriends go straight for the below-the-belt comments after a breakup, whether or not it’s true. Playgirl is getting pretty desperate.
flash drive | March 5, 2010 at 4:22 am
Hi,
they are actually the best on this site as of late! You are one step ahead of Randal who knows how to post poop all the time..
captain america | March 5, 2010 at 7:50 am
he “bought” the rest of his body elsewhere!!
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nomas | March 5, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Do the kids get new backpacks each day? I can see Kate insisting on that.
small asian penis | March 5, 2010 at 2:31 pm
that’s awesome
Urbanspaceman | March 5, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Whatever happened to the unspoken code that celebutards used to have which stated that they didn’t give out this kind of info to the public?
Dread not | March 5, 2010 at 5:39 pm
Like I said before, Hawaiian my ass. Rice dick.
Tom777 | March 5, 2010 at 9:04 pm
John, Man I got to tell you… I FEEL FOR YOU MAN… I know you gave it everything you had with Kate and TRUST ME MAN… I feel you bro… You TRIED to make it work but shit man… It just didn’t work out… Anyone who has not been married has NO IDEA what it’s like…
All I can say is HEY… YOUR FREE… Your Free… Your finally free… Take your freedom and make of it what you will… RUN with it… and LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!
Word…
bubba schmidt | March 5, 2010 at 10:43 pm
#39. Your free what? Your free cat? Your free mom?
BobC | March 6, 2010 at 5:24 am
Oh!!! Is this guy still alive??
almanya sohbet | March 6, 2010 at 2:14 pm
this guy was bald last year , were did he get all that hair.
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Indian dude | March 6, 2010 at 6:54 pm
WTF??? Indian guys have small dicks???
MLM Lead System Pro Review | March 6, 2010 at 7:38 pm
too funny!!!!
Mari | March 7, 2010 at 12:16 am
Ha!!Ha!! How, funny come on, I mean those “girlfriends” weren’t complaining about size when they were with him, I guess all they cared about was the size of the tabloid stories and the size of their exposure on TV.
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SaRaHc. | March 7, 2010 at 7:11 am
i’m disgusted people actually believe this biLge, give a fuck or think Jerry Senfield would bother signing in ‘anon’ (if so, i don’t wanna know- i got fresh disrespect to dish out daily, & i dON’T gotta dig very deep…) Decrepid dungeons like this dilly = distractions for the desperate : i.e. losers with no lives (Hey, does this mean i’m one too now?! “i think i’m ready to unLOAD!…”) who beak off like they’re ‘iN The KNoW’ but only bring their bottom-feeder bigotry that has no basis – only B.i.A.S. (& therefore BLOWS)
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Apostate | March 7, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Ahhh….So there IS another organ that matches the size of his so-called brain.