Jon Gosselin: ‘Where the bitches at?’

July 31st, 2009 // 68 Comments

Like any man with eight kids running around, Jon Gosselin spent yesterday afternoon at his Reading home picking up chicks who just show up at his fence like some sort of magical delivery service. Coincidentally, these pics will also appear as Exhibits A-H in the inevitable custody battle that ends with Jon only being allowed to visit his kids in a pool full of hand sanitizer. Well played, sir.

NOTE: Included a pic of Jon inexplicably wearing Kate’s hat just to pour salt on the wounds of anyone wondering why they can’t get laid. I’m adorable.

Photos: Flynet
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  1. amanda

    i really like the tall chicks pants

  2. I am severely disappointed by this man and have lost a lot of respect for him. I think we are seeing more of the ‘real’ Jon lately.

  3. AZrock

    HERO!!!!!!!

  4. AZrock

    HERO!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Kill Yourself Now

    I was just thinking to myself today…I have not seen anything about Jon Gosselin in awhile. I wonder if the douchbag is staying low like he promised.

    I going to go drink myself into a coma now. Fuck you very much

  6. JaniceGunit

    Ha ha, in the last picture if you just look at his face he looks like an old Chinese lady.

  7. smell my taint

    man….fat chicks will fuck anyone. you have to love that.

    I have to ask….what in the hell is he holding up in that last photo?
    He is wearing Kate’s hat…did he find her G-spot vibrator as well?
    I wonder if he stuck it up his ass then put it back without washing it?

  8. Adrian

    Does this waste of oxygen have any other t-shirts…as far as bitches are concerned I agree ..about these two ..WOOF.

  9. DeviousJinx

    He must be reading this site and taking our advice because he keeps wearing that same ole worn out Hawaiian Island shirt instead of that douchey Ed Hardy junk. It’s ok Jon, go to Old Navy, I hear they’re having a sale and yes, they’re cheap knockoff Gap clothes that you can’t afford, but they don’t scream FUCKEN TOOL!

  10. Rick

    Jon. Jon Jon Jon. Jon. Lissenup.

    Chick magnet = awesome.

    Fat ugly chick magnet = butt of other guys’ jokes.

    Fat ugly chick magnet after spending years as the simpering whimpering hen-pecked husband of a controlling psychobitch cuntwife = ultimate loser.

    Take care of your kids, lose weight, buy some grownup clothes, wear grownup shoes, take the fucking cap off (no, wearing it backwards doesn’t make it ok), get a real job…and most of all, act like you have some self-respect and wait until you meet a girl worth having. And when the kids are grown up, make sure you have Kate burned and dismembered.

  11. DeviousJinx

    @ #6 – Bahahahahaha, I didn’t even notice until I read your post. Fucken awesome!

  12. uh Uh UH! Yeah

    You gotta love these two: Fat ass and flat ass. That’s some great catch.

  13. uh Uh UH! Yeah ... hand me a kleenex will you honey?

    The fence is HOT!

  14. Darth

    He told his kids that daddy is going to stay away from the bitches so he took his position behind a fence this time.

  15. big teeth

    wow.. i do love the pudgy white chicks..

  16. Nanotyrannus

    How does this dude manage to attract such Grade A Bitchage? I wanna know his secret.

    Oh wait. I don’t like girls. Nevermind.

  17. Galtacticus

    I haven’t seen such a large peepholes ever.

  18. sammy

    he’s so cool, way to celebrate and live your life! – christiansinglesdate.com

  19. Harold^Sick

    JGoss is the new Brad Pitt for fat chicks. He is the hero that ugly, busted, fucked up and overweight ladies have been dreaming of. He’s their pizza delivery guy, their plumber, their lord of the full-sized panties.

  20. Paul

    Gosselin = American Hero. Bud Light should make a commercial song about him.

  21. audrey

    Ugh, more dumpy looking chicks for Jon to slobber over. So now he can pick up chicks right in his own yard-fantastic! Who in the heck is taking care of the kids while he continues to play out his pathetic premature mid-life crisis?

    He needs to get all of this skirt chasing out of his system and bring his focus back to the children. Say what you want about Kate but she’s not running around making a fool of herself like Jon aka Mr.Chub.

  22. Galactus

    Nice work Jon . . . My new herald

  23. Amy

    Oh please, these girls just walked by, saw Jon, and got their pictures made with him. I’m pretty sure they made fun of him once they got back to their car. No one would ever fuck this tool. Just because some girls happened to walk by and speak to him doesn’t make him a chick magnet.

  24. Wilma Dikfit

    I heart Jon.

  25. Maggie

    I would definitely believe that last picture was of a mentally challenged person if someone showed me it and told me that.

  26. Those whores got their 15 seconds of fame and then realized how much bigger his gut was than his dick and walked off to find Reggie Bush.. Quite an amazing day it must be for Jon.

  27. Dave

    What’s even funnier is these chicks are married peep the ring on one of them

  28. timbo

    You know that after shaking his hand, the girl is thinking, “OMG, I am NEVER washing my hand again”!

    This guy went from having America’s sympathy vote to being the biggest douche. Is Kate’s image better than Jon’s image at this point?

  29. david

    ASIAN MEN ARE DESPERATE FOR ANY WHITE CHICK..AND I AGREE WITH #6, HE LOOKS LIKE A FAT OLD CHINESE LADY IN THE LAST PIC..ESPECIALLY WITH THE EARRINGS

  30. Gene

    They’re called starf*ckers Jon, enjoy it while you can and get it all out of your system.

  31. ishi-san

    Who the f**k are these Gosselin-people????!!!!??? Please stop writing about them already!! They are horribly boring and terribly ugly – all of them!!

  32. Bosco

    HOW does this guy get laid?????

  33. Yep

    how DOES this guy get laid?

  34. Ing

    how does THIS guy get laid???

  35. Tyna

    how does this GUY get laid?

  36. Maybe they are neighbors and the paps just took these pictures to stir up some more trouble… maybe…

  37. annoyed

    You people all should really get a life!! I’m sure it was 100% innocent!! Jon takes so much heat for everything he does!! I’ve been told that on weekends up to 300 people gather around outside his house taking pictures and trying to catch a glimpse of the family, it just so happens that these girls came at the right time and it just so happens that Jon was outside and said hello to them. He needs to be nice to his fans, they are the reason he has so much!! He didnt do anything wrong, maybe we should talk about whoever was spying and taking pictures of him just living his life, now that’s just annoying!!!

  38. annoyed

    You people all should really get a life!! I’m sure it was 100% innocent!! Jon takes so much heat for everything he does!! I’ve been told that on weekends up to 300 people gather around outside his house taking pictures and trying to catch a glimpse of the family, it just so happens that these girls came at the right time and it just so happens that Jon was outside and said hello to them. He needs to be nice to his fans, they are the reason he has so much!! He didnt do anything wrong, maybe we should talk about whoever was spying and taking pictures of him just living his life, now that’s just annoying!!!

  39. douche

    @23 Amy

    You are a cunt. Nobody said he was a chick magnet….but he is a skank magnet. All these self absorbed fame chaser and starfuckers are looking for a slice of the Jon & Kate pie and Jon (the douchebag that he is) plays right into it.

    I promise you….if he whipped out his little teeny peeny and poked it through the fence, fatty over there would have been down on her knees faster than a fat kid on an ice cream cone. Her fatass friend would have been snapping away and selling them to the trash rags in 2 hours.

  40. Kate

    @37 – Jon? Is that you? Take off my hat and leave my vibrator alone.

  41. annoyed

    Why are you all saying horrible things about these girls?? Thousands of people have gone to take pictures of the house and I’ve heard that Jon took the time to talk with other fans as well. The only difference is that some photographer felt the need to take pictures of these fans, no doubt just because they were girls and everyone knows that the media loves to make Jon look bad!! HELLO notice the wedding ring, clearly just fans of the show!! Stop making drama out of nothing!!!

  42. MosesGabby

    This guy is getting to be as fat and worthless as Federline.

  43. I bet he self destructs within 6 months. Alcohol, partying, spending money to get back at his ex. It’s going to be ugly, and very public. Feel bad for the kids that will eventually read about their dad’s behavior.

  44. BH

    I actually thought Jon wearing Khate’s hat and glasses was kinda funny. The guy does have a sense of humor, you have to give him that, and even the beat down that Khate put on him day after friggin’ day, once in a while you’d see that sense of humor.

    I won’t watch the show because the kids are being sucked dry of their childhood years, but Jon is funny in a 12th grade lunchroom table kinda way.

  45. you're a douche

    @41 Jon….(I mean annoyed) you are a world class chode

    Jon was married and banging a 19 year old coke whore…I don’t think the sanctity of marriage is high on his list.

    And that goes for that cunt Kate as well. Heard she was moving within a few blocks from her “bodyguard”

  46. frankinSloth

    What a DOUCHE CANOE!

  47. Jrdn

    uhhh how’s he a hero? he’s getting regular women. show him actually getting women like way out of his league and MAYBE i will think he’s somewhat impressive.

  48. Amy

    # 39,

    Thanks for calling me a “cunt” on the internet. That was very new and original. I’m going to go down a lexapro to help ease the pain that you’ve caused.

    And honestly, no. I don’t think the fat chick would suck his dick. I do think you, however, would spread your ass cheeks and let Jon do ass to mouth.

    Have a nice weekend.

  49. but you are

    @48

    see. that’s why you get called a cunt. you have nothing nice to say.

  50. Jamie's Uterus

    Does this guy ever put on shoes? I’m tired of seeing his nasty feet.

    And yes, those 2 trashbags are looking for their fame too, so I could easily see them offering sexual favors through the fence.

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