Jon Gosselin wants a Porsche now

August 12th, 2009 // 38 Comments

Because an ATV surprisingly isn’t attracting the caliber of women he’s accustomed to, Jon Gosselin went shopping for a Porsche in New York yesterday. And also one for Hailey Glassman for all the sex because she’s his “soul mate.” RadarOnline reports:

A car shopper spotted Jon recently taking a good look at various models of Mercedes, and not focusing on the M Class (which seats five and is a sport-utility vehicle). No, think in terms of more acceleration, as in going from married to dating in 4.3 seconds!
Jon and Hailey have also been shopping for a Porsche.
We’re still not sure if the final purchase will be for Jon, Hailey or both. Jon’s unhappy with his new BMW we hear and Hailey wants a Porsche.

Granted, a Porsche might boost Jon’s sex appeal, but if he’s taught me anything these past few months, it’s that he’d be better off riding a tricycle while wearing a T-shirt that reads “Just Left Control Freak Wife of 10 Years and Have No Delusions About Parting With Insane Amounts of Reality TV Cash for Sex.” The guy couldn’t get more laid if he surgically altered his face to look like Robert Pattinson. Which might not be a bad investment.

Photos: Flynet

  1. LL

    Good.! anything that pisses his bitchy garbage wife off is good. How’s about matching red Ferrari’s.

  2. Where is this money coming from? Earlier reports indicated that Kate relies heavily on the reality show revenue to support the litter.. and considering the show is about to get canceled, maybe now if not the best time to buy a luxury automobile. But what do I know? I’m not a fat douchebag so I can’t think like one.

  3. Alli

    kate and jon,

    You sold your souls to the devil and now the devil is coming to collect

    I don’t feel sorry for you but I feel sorry for your 8 innocent children. Hopefully Kate will be able to raise them by herself because obviously Jon has checked out. Guess it’s just Kate Plus 8 now…

  4. Venom

    Wow, just spending the kid’s money left and right.
    I have no respect for these people anymore especially him.
    Motorcycles, BMWs, Porsches, Mercedes etc..

  5. Hannah

    Wow…he’s really kind of fat.

  6. Jim

    Unhappy and bmw in the same sentence? this fag doesn’t deserve such cars.Fuks sakes, impulsive buyers piss me off..

  7. Mike Brady

    DEFINITE “Father of the Year” material.

    So, anyone taking odds for how this sophisticate’s life looks in 10 years, when the show is long forgotten and the well has gone dry?

    He’s not as talented as Bonaduce
    Not as popular as Gary Coleman was
    Not half as likeable as Bob Denver

    Oh yeah. I see GREAT things in this guy’s future.

  8. Wingman

    Now I know how he does it!

    He’s got one in the pink and TWO in the stink! (pic 4)

    Oh, Kate…you naughty mommy, you.

  9. I am so tired of hearing about jon and kate! they are going through a rough divorce and i think they should be left alone!

  10. yuki

    well i want them both to go. away. now.
    someone plz just light both of them on fire and throw them from the plane now plz.

  11. LAWDY,LAWDY...

    He’s a TOOL who doesn’t realize what a BUTT of a JOKE he’s become or maybe does but is whoring himself out for money. After all, his ‘new soulmate’ has been passed around more than an Indy 500 car & he doesn’t mind being seen with IT.

  12. HUH?

    in pic#1 he looks like ‘Noodle’ from Gorillaz

  13. WTF

    I really have no idea why anyone cares about this asshole? What has this guy done to warrant all of this media coverage. Who cares?

    Oh and last douchebag poster, look who’s fucking talking.

  14. Donkey Dongey Dong

    Fat, ugly loser. Almost as grotesque as Kate Porcupine Head.

  15. Marv

    Kate and Jon Shitheads dumped out 8 kids so they can launch their on ass into Hollywood. These two are the most disgusting pieces of turds ever. Kate sits on the security guard all day while Jon run his ass all over town like a 20 year old. These poor kids are those two cash cows.

  16. Ellie

    Yeah and Kate wants to be pampered like a movie star with no talent. They can care less about those kids.

  17. Dr Truth

    He should keep the BMW, it’s the perfect car for him.

  18. they both suck !

    He’s making a jackass out of himself but better than that, he’s making a jackass out of Khate.

  19. Stinky

    You think someone can’t possibly look like a bigger douchenozzle and WHAM! – you see ‘em on an ATV…

  20. Lloyd Johnson

    Doesn’t he already have a GTR? Is he a rapper?

  21. JoJo

    What a douche bag trying to be a man, can’t even handle his white trash GF’s much less being a real father.

  22. sunshine

    Jettison this Douche, his wife + kids & Octomom + kids, on some deserted planet and leave them there, for the sake of all humankind. A new “Lost in Space” reality show will entice them, then lose contact. Blame Hal. Let their names be stricken from all gossip mags, web sites and TV Guides forever. So let it be written, so let it be done.

  23. ucky

    He is a turd.

  24. n

    nice ATV tricks…ugh. kate’s probably hoping he goes ass over end. cha-ching!

  25. Jamie's Uterus

    I doubt he’d pay for a Porsche, they would give it to him and that down market slut he hangs around with, so it could be seen in all the paparazzi photos.

    If I were him, I’d milk it for all its worth, because it will be over soon.

    I hope you uses these opportunities to continually humiliate that horrible shrew Kate. Did you see her crying on the Today Show to Meredith Viera? Go home bitch, no one cares!

  26. datroof

    Pic #1 is KICKZ AZZ! on so many levels, it’s pure magic.

  27. Beavis

    “Beacuse an ATV surprisingly isn’t attracting the caliber of women he’s accustomed to…”

    Seriously? I would’ve thought ugly trailer park bitches would be all over that. Next they’ll be wanting houses with the porch attached and to not take dumps outdoors. wtf is this world coming to.

  28. The douche “wants a Porsche now”, when he should want to hire a small army of personsoal trainers and lose 40 pounds of gut fat.

    I didn’t realize that an exclusive high volume diet of semen could be so bad for you. Who knew? Richport, that’s who!

  29. Whenever I see people in a Porsche, they just seem like wannabes. I guess Porsche handles well, is fun to drive or something, but it’s just a stretch Volkswagen. And it doesn’t cost nearly enough. It’s like , “Hey! I cracked a 100k a year! This is all the “status” I can scratch up! Envy me…please, please, please, please, please?”

    Mercedes is owned by CHRYSLER isn’t it?!

    Looks like he needs a dump truck to haul his shit around.

  30. Eurolive

    @29 Are you retarded?
    Mercedes isn’t owned by Chrysler. You douche nozzle.
    VWs were invented for the masses. You guess Porsches are fun to drive? WTF? Duh.Douche, go drive your Obama Motor’s car and shut up about cars. This fatty couldn’t even fit in a Porsches’ seat. It is sad he drives a BMW, he should be driving a Geo Metro as 29 will one day be able to do when he stops being dropped off by his mom.

  31. Emotions getting the best of you regarding Jon Gosselin?

  32. Rhialto

    Since when is this a post worth? I feel almost embarrassed of the quality of the posts.

  33. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Don’t post any of these people anymore here.

  34. His Huge Greatness Himself

    You really come from a crap background isn’t it?

  35. Rhialto

    2nd or 3rd world.ANYTHING for an easy buck.

  36. Darth

    So,what are his intentions? He wants to live like a rockstar on the back of his kids?

  37. lol at 30

    Oh #30, you are a pathetic piece of trash trying to act bad. Firstly, Ferdinand Porsche designed the original VW bug (the type 12) and they still take many cues from each other. In fact, the companies are very closely tied, with Porsche placing a bid to buy controlling interest VW just a little while ago. Secondly, BMWs and Porsches are dbag cars for teenage wannabes and middle ages neverweres. They are basically the automobile equivalent of popping your collar. Finally, Chrysler and Mercedes were both owned (and are still partially both owned) by a company called Daimler-Chrysler. I recognize it’s hard being a fat gay virgin nerd, but please try to remember your manners.

  38. not surprised

    What better way is there to support your 8 children than by buying an overpriced sports car?

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