Jon Gosselin sucks at hiring lawyers. Plus Kate’s Pity Party!

October 5th, 2009 // 45 Comments

Jon Gosselin’s questionable move to secretly remove $200,000 from a joint bank account in violation of his arbitration agreement with Kate most likely came at the advice of his new lawyer Marc Heller (above) who, surprise, was suspended in the 90s for recommending his clients do the exact same action to make sure he was paid, according to Kate’s lawyer Marty Singer. TMZ reports:

Singer says Heller has done this before, citing a New York Supreme Court decision which says Heller directed one of his clients in a divorce to “withdraw everything that’s in the bank” so the money could be used to pay his fee.
And then there’s this … Singer blasts Heller, noting that the New York Supreme Court “addressed charges that you violated ‘thirty-eight counts alleging multiple violations of the disciplinary rules,’ and charges that you ‘had engaged in a pattern of misconduct involving misrepresentations, deceit, abusive treatment of clients, fee gouging, neglect and willful failure to return unearned retainers to his clients’ in matters which involved your ‘mishandling of the matters of twelve separate clients.’” The letter goes on to claim Heller admitted to engaging in “professional misconduct involving dishonesty, fraud, deceit, or misrepresentation.”

Meanwhile, Kate held a pity party this morning on Today where she claims she’s penniless and the kids are crying because they can’t film the show. (Of course.) Via People:

“When you’ve left your children and their mother without the funds to pay for the roof over their head, it’s not acceptable,” Kate, 34, told the Today show. “I need that money to provide for them. We were in the position after our sextuplets were born that we could not pay our bills. We did the show to provide a better life for them. Never did I think I’d be back in the same position.”
“I have a stack of bills in my purse I can’t put in the mail,” she says.

While Jon is a fucking moron, I don’t believe for one second Kate’s sitting around penniless unable to pay her bills. As for the kids crying about not being able to do the show, yeah, they probably will when you tell them Disney isn’t footing anymore trips to the Magic Kingdom, and mommy’s not about to. She didn’t have eight kids just to sit around paying for shit herself. That’s crazy talk.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Iron Chic

    FIRST…. Now I’ll break your back, and make you humble!!!!

  2. I’m am oddly fascinated by this messy train wreck. It just keeps getting better and better!

  3. Proboscis

    Jon’s lawyer has a big fat nose.

  4. havoc

    And yet she can still afford that retarded fucking haircut which probably cost $200.

    Cry me a river bitch…


  5. The Rough report

    Jesus, Abracadabra nyc’s going to make a killing with this hair do for Halloween…

  6. Aerialgreen

    DOUCHE-DISH! I bet a public meltdown is brewing and I’m so going to watch it…. never seen these twaty show sans a couple of commercials and glances, and now I have another reason to avoid it completely.

    It’s so fucking hilarious how these two douches go at each other, both with a inexplicable sense of entitlement that borders on Kevin Federline’s territory.

  7. Mike

    Who f***ing cares

  8. Dread not

    Damn! $200,000.00 in a joint bank account. That’s can like, buy a lot of pot.

  9. BobHope

    This bitch is ridiculous. She runs around the country selling books and crying all of the time. Stop the show, get the kids some help, and let the dude run free….he deserves it after the hell she puts him through

  10. yep

    She is delusional. Also the reverse mullet is a great look for redneck chics.

  11. HP

    “I don’t believe for one second Kate’s sitting around penniless unable to pay her bills”? Yeah, since it specifically was not the account for their future 250k/year tuition bills, I’m sure this money was just for a rainy day and definitely not to pay bills or anything.

    Jon can hate the bitch and regret his decisions all he wants; this is stealing from his own children. He’s a dumb piece of shit and he and the ambulance chaser deserve each other.

  12. WhiskeyDust

    Yet somehow she can afford to replace her wedding ring with one that has eight diamonds and a mother of pearl.

    Not much financial hemmorhaging going on there.

    I think they should go back to being the nobodys they used to be before opening the vaginal floodgates.

    Absolute wastes of skin. Both of them. Poor kids…… you can’t pick your family.

  13. Jim Lahey

    What’s up with “My Little Pony” in the blue t-shirt?

  14. zuzuspetals

    Here’s an idea for you Kate: if you can’t afford kids, DON’T HAVE SO MANY FUCKING KIDS- IDIOT.
    These two fucking Neaderthals piss me off almost as much as Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin. I think all 4 must share the same dumbfuck chromosome in their DNA. Heidi and Spenser, too.

  15. Andie

    I didn’t think he could stoop any lower, but I was wrong. She isn’t perfect, neither is he.
    He was a whiny bitch while they were together and she took charge of his whiny baby ass because she didn’t have a choice at the time. I can understand where she’s coming from, but she did turn into a bitch.
    Hey, that’s what happens when you marry somebody like him. I can see it now. He put on such a front for her, telling her he wanted the same things she did. Then when it came right down to it he didn’t want to do any of the work or make any of the decisions. So what did she do? She stepped in, dammit, and acted like a grown up! All the while resenting him more and more for NOT acting like a man. So finally he’s reduced to a whiny douche with no ball sack and she is Kate-zilla.

    WTF Ever.

    I invite you all to live in the present. This ‘man’ has acted just DISGUSTINGLY bad since they split. I mean, make me want to VOMIT bad. At least since the split Kate has had the decency to NOT get her face plastered all over the internet with nasty man-whores and act like a bi-polar college kid.

    He makes me want to puke. This is lower than low. Somebody should twist off what’s left of his balls and make him eat them.

    The best revenge, though, is going to be when those kids grow up and REALLY understand what this guy is all about. I hope all his girls decide to have their step-dad (assuming she finds somebody decent to marry) walk them down the aisle one day.

    *middle finger to Jon Gosselin*

  16. Valarie

    The whole family needs to get over themselves! There are REAL families out there everyday trying to get by and they dont have a television station paying their bills. So sorry Kate & Jon you may just have to get off your ass and do a REAL JOB!!! One of the worst parts about this is so many americans by into this and watch the stupid show.

  17. Not Kate Gosselin

    Jon you are such a douchebag!

    I don’t think that Kate is a saint, but please. He has banged all of these different women, is acting like he just started college, and now he is taking tons of cash out of the accounts. He wants to be her friend, yet he goes directly against the arbitration agreement and drains the account. WTF?

    I hope that Jon gets some kind of nasty disease and his dick rots off.

  18. dee

    Remember, this cunt MANUFACTURED this situation by having these babies by artificial means. She led this dumbass into this mess and now she is reaping the “rewards” of her manipulation. Fuck them both and get them off the air already!

  19. bakinmycake

    This woman has no money yet when she was in Pittsburgh this weekend she had a very large limo cart her ass around. Oh, and the shopping bags…

    She ate at PF Changs, by no means is this over the top but poor people don;t eat there.

    Take it out of the college fund.

  20. Speirto

    The lawyer reminds me of the actor who played the parrot in the old animated Aladdin movie.

  21. Danklin24

    Do any of you honestly think that TLC isnt going to pay Kate’s bills? Im sure they already pay 90% of them. The woman is far from destitute. This is just her feeling sorry for herself. Yes what Jon did was douchy and really makes no fucking sense what so ever because he IS stealing from his kids, but come on, Kate’s whining over not being able to pay her bills is complete and udder bullshit. Why would they put all their money into one fucking account? No one with that much money does that and if they do, they’re beyond fucking retarded.

  22. missywissy

    I don’t know anything about these trolls except they have a boatload of kids and got their own tv show. I’ve seen their photos before all the make-overs and high end clothing, and I just think “jeez”. Here were a couple of people with a family and they sold their soul to the devil and now they’re asking for handouts and sympathy. Both of these bitches should put their wardrobe on ebay, sell the fucking house, ATV’s, etc. and go back to a more simple lifestyle and reclaim their lives again.

  23. m

    The point is, he took money out of their account, if she didn’t want this to happen, she should have never opened up a joint account with him (or closed the joint account once they stopped having a ‘joint relationship’). I do not agree with how the entire matter of them being divorsed and the problems arrising are being spread across the media. Everyday people get divorses and you would never know about it. There are ways to keep your private life private and there are ways, which has become obvious with Jon and Kate, to use your misfortunes and make money off of it.

    @missywissy – You are right in saying they “sold their soul to the devil” and I wish they had spent some money on image consulting/ Public Relations instead of on hair cuts and ATV’s. I don’t believe they’re deliberately asking for sympathy and hand- outs, it just seems that way from how the media is showing these incidents. Remember, very frequently reporters leave out information… But I do agree with them “go(ing) back to a more simple lifestyle and reclaim(ing) their lives again.”

  24. Galtacticus

    He should get rid of that questionable lawyer.He’s going to cost him a fortune for nothing.

  25. i call 'em as I see 'em

    What is the choad doing with David Brenner?

  26. Rhialto

    Low IQ but easy access to serious $?! Lawyers like these are always praying for clients like Jon Gosselin.

  27. gigi

    David Brenner needs better friends in his old age….

  28. S.

    Jon Gosselin looks like a magician conjuring up some sort of lesser imp minion in that photo.

  29. Rebecca

    Ya mean to tell me that all this crap is over a lousy 200 grand? I would thought is was a few million.

    She is carrying her bills in her purse? to NYC for a TV interview? Did she think that she needed to prove that she is paying the bills?

    Yeah his lawyer has a big HONKING nose

  30. anti-pathy

    These guys are running neck and neck for the asshole of the decade award, they both need to get fricking jobs, and stop all this crap, there ought to be billboards with their photo’s on them, warning teenagers of what could happen if you don’t use a condom- you could end up being the parent of one of these douches.

  31. Nancy

    Jon just sucks, period. What a low-life, immature little boy. Kate had enough children already. He’s proven over and over that he comes first and the kids are way down the list. How low can you go? Deadbeat jerk.

  32. fuzzy Tingle Times

    Lawyer looks like a old mini tim roth.

  33. Fiddledeedee

    Jon’s lawyer suspiciously resembles a gremlin on the attack.

    Or maybe he’s fleeing since Jon looks ready to take the backdoor route. Or play leapfrog. Whatever.

  34. belicoso

    Is there any conduct that the Gosselins would think was in poor taste? I cannot imagine any parent acting the way that they are. Joe Simpson may have gone to serious lengths to get his daughters on tv even when they didn’t accomplish anything warranting a tv show, and Larry Birkhead may have sold coverage of his daughter at her birthday parties and at Anna Nicole’s grave and may have tried his darnedest to keep his face in the gossip mags but he never did anything like these two disgraceful parents. Everyday I am just speechless at what they say to the press, how about handling family matters behind closed doors and acting civilized?

  35. kandi earle

    Kate Gosselin is a lying manipulative self absorbed bitch!!!!! besides having the worst hairstyle of any person…alive or dead!!!! Kate is always on some sort of open forum, looking for pitying & saying “i do whats best for my kids”. What is best for your kids is to end the show & go back to obscurity. Has anyone ever noticed she pretend cries but never ever any tears. Come on kate face up to it…your 15 mins of fame of over…no…they were over 20 mins ago. Pls pls pls do us all a favor & JUST GO AWAY!!!!!!

  36. kandykane

    pls pls pls kate take your ugly hairdo along with your self pity & just go away. so very tired of seeing u on every talk show known to man with your tearless fake crying. your 15 mins of fame was up an hr ago.

  37. mahatma

    You couple Jon’s maturity level with his IQ and he he is way short of a decent con. I think he may be Sgt. Carters and Bunny’s unclaimed son from the Gomer Pyle show. Nancy Grace was so rude to him I was hoping they would go to blows. I wonder if any of those kids are actually his?<

  38. bijoux tiffany

    very good

  39. I think Kate is an RN. She could get a regular job as a nurse and make decent money. The same babysitters that watch the kids while she makes TV appearances could watch them while she works her nursing shifts.

  40. I think Kate is an RN. She could get a regular job as a nurse and make decent money. The same babysitters that watch the kids while she makes TV appearances could watch them while she works her nursing shifts.

  41. I think Kate is an RN. She could get a regular job as a nurse and make decent money. The same babysitters that watch the kids while she makes TV appearances could watch them while she works her nursing shifts.

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