Jon Gosselin signed hand-written legal contract with Kate Major. Of course, he did.

Presumably drunk on homely snizz, Jon Gosselin signed a hand-written contract with former Star reporter Kate Major in exchange for her keeping their relationship secret. RadarOnline reports:

“I, Jon Gosselin, will employ Kate Major as a personal assistant,” Jon wrote on the document dated July 28, 2009. Jon pledged that she could handle “some but not all future accounts” in a paragraph notable for its scratched out section.
And in language that just begs for a lawyer somewhere to hear a cash register ringing, Jon writes: “She will receive a percentage of accounts for payment based upon involvement.”

Jesus Christ. So basically Jon Gosselin married Kate Major. The sex stopped and she’s walking away with half his cash. There’s really no other way to describe what happened here.

Photos: Splash News