Jon Gosselin might be on Survivor or Amazing Race

October 23rd, 2009 // 53 Comments

Because he’s clearly the pinnacle of athletic prowess, Jon Gosselin is in talks to compete on Survivor or The Amazing Race, according to Radar Online:

Jon, of course, is exploring other opportunities now that he told TLC they can no longer film his children, effectively ending Jon & Kate Plus 8. And although the network has filed suit against him, alleging he has breached their exclusivity clause (among other things) that apparently doesn’t mean Jon isn’t exploring other opportunities.

So reading between the lines, it’s obvious Jon Gosselin is negotiating the rights to his first televised heart attack which, to his credit, is probably not a bad idea at this point. If someone offered me a chance to see Jon Gosselin piss himself while vomiting up 20 Marlboros in front of a bunch of women he struck out with, I’d probably take a gander. But that’s just me and my love for physical comedy.

Photos: Flynet
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  1. givehimabreak

    He does have some padding… I think people are too hard on him

  2. sunshine

    You should have starred that belly shot. I have developed hysterical blindness now, way to go Fish.

  3. jeff probst

    Oh please don’t let it be the Amazing Race. Who can we write to so that never happens. The Amazine Race is a great show and it doesn’t need this crap. He is such a tool.

  4. als10point

    If I was the CEO of True Religion jeans, I’d put a contract out on his fat ass!

  5. stinker

    All I can think of is: J-E-L-L-O.

  6. D4P

    Looks like there’s 8 more on the way…

  7. O'Roughly factor

    Oh really? how about catapult him to mars with lance bass? and the clan too for all I care…Id be glued…

  8. Gigs

    How bout The Biggest Loser, for more reasons than one.

  9. missywissy

    the guy needs a trainer. He never even gave birth. he looks like a binge drinker. Estrogen levels increase and fat goes right to the belly. He’s probably got moobs to match.

  10. CrunchyCheeseTwists

    those pics scream pride. (and ho-hos) (and moon pies) (and bacon fat)

  11. kels

    NOTHING LIKE A FAT ASIAN TO RUIN MY APPETITE.

  12. Kevin

    Who the Hell is this guy and what has he done? I see him on these sites but have no idea who he is.

  13. JADE

    He needs to go on Celebrity Fit Club!

  14. MORON POLICE

    @12: It’s called GOOGLE, you dumb fuck. Use it.

  15. SevanSins

    Ironically you can see a treadmill tucked away in the back part of the garage.

  16. They could eat him on Survivor. Enough food for months.

    @ 8 Gigs – Now that makes sense.

    @ 12 Kevin – He’s a star from the glamorous TLC.

    @ 14 MP – it is pretty effective.

  17. JustWondering

    This guy is so fat that he couldn’t get a job taking it up the ass in a gay porn movie. Those suicidal maniacs have more pride than him.

  18. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester

    With that belly you can tell he hasn’t missed the balls Kate took from him.

  19. Delgo

    When you got a tool like his you gotta build a shed over it.

  20. cd

    who’s worse — this guy, or heidi and spencer?

  21. timbo

    Survivor would be good because some of those people lose a lot of weight. I might be good for you Jon.

    I’ve only seen Amazing Race a few times but have never seen them compete with ATVs. He’d win the race though if middle-aged, ugly poon was the grand prize.

  22. Looking at this photo is prompting me to write another book just for him: “Body for Next Wife: The Total Douche Nozzle’s Guide to Getting in Shape.”

  23. Mike

    True Religion needs to file a cease and desist order RIGHT NOW!!! He’s ruining my wardrobe!!!

  24. Amy

    It’s pretty sad when Jon’s (ex) wife who birthed a million children can lose the weight. Meanwhile, he’s dumped 9 people and has gained.

  25. BonnieBell

    *hork*

    Damn, there went my lunch.

  26. Buckley

    Jon needs to go on the biggest loser. after all, show was named after him.

  27. Umm…all things considered his true religion jeans look great. Those really must be some great jeans. If they look that good on him and he is in that kinda shape they would really look slammin on me! Gotta get a pair.

  28. Buckley

    Don’t do it Laura!
    It’s douchebag wear.
    Think of the children!

    :-p

  29. Surrealcirce

    I’m personally laughing myself sick thinking of him on Dancing with the Stars or Hell’s Kitchen!!!

  30. bah

    Oh wrong just wrong, ooh I’m sure he must be thinking come and get it ladies!

  31. Dyslexic Cnut

    His belly looks like he had a c-section done in a 3rd world country. Fat Jappy ass.

  32. xxWPxx

    You know what that tummy turns into at night?
    A male rooster.

  33. sara

    i like how that belt buckle is off to the side. It looks like he’s got some on the way. Tired of this dude.

  34. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    He’d lose some weight on Survivor. But he could be paired up with that dog faced Jew Hailey Glassman for Amazing Race too. She could wear a Kate Gosselin Halloween wig.

  35. evil cat

    thanks, my retinas exploded looking at fatty fat fat

  36. Maya

    Gah, I’m blind. Kate keeps looking better and better. TEAM KATE!

  37. stacy

    @20

    that’s a tough call.

    BUT…I think Spencer and Heidi might win this one.

  38. EvilInaAWay

    # 20, as sad as this sounds, I think he’s even more pathetic than Heidi and Spencer. To me he’s kind of like that incident I had earlier when I though it was just a fart. I had to wipe up the mess and it was worth more than Jon.

  39. SlimFast

    G-UUUUU-T!!! w/ a happy trail… classy.

  40. A manly muffintop appears!!

  41. By the looks of these photos maybe Jon Gosselin needs to go on “Celebrity Fit Club” instead and have Harvey yell at his fat ass! That would be more entertaining.

  42. EuroNeckPain

    What an ugly man !!!!!! This gut and those terrible looking jeans…. AAuuuugggghhhhhh…. I don’t know who he is and I don’t want to know.

  43. nom nom nom

    Nom Nom Nom :(

  44. Sindy

    I think I just vommitted in my mouth!!!! He is beyond ugly. I don’t know how certain women who sleep with him can get beyond the pug face and the jello-belly stomach and all that hair on his stomach! Ew!!!

  45. datroof

    Looks like ole Jon is developing the dreaded GutButt. Whereas a man’s gut has a crease in the middle, making it look like a disgusting flabby ass is growing out of his stomach.

    Bonus points for completing the illusion with hairy growth. A Hairy GutButt! Jon Gosselin sure knows how to work the media.

  46. No Return

    What the hell is that hairy fat abomination?

  47. Kevin

    #14 it’s called being a keyboard tough guy because you would NEVER talk to someone let alone me “in person” like you just responded to a simple question. Funny that you should pick the name MORON Police.

    Just maybe it says a lot more about you and the fact that you do know who this nobody is and actually think that he’s accomplished enough in life that he should have his mug plastered all over sites like this one. It’s guys like you that cry like a little girl while sitting in our back seat as we’re diving you to central booking and all the while as you try to talk through the tears all you want to know is how soon can you call your mommy.

    You’ll get a lot farther in life by just being polite, you may want to give a a shot.

  48. Jinxy

    I hate this fat, dumpy, mongoloid. It’s a great thing he’s managed to impoverish his 8 kids who will be on WIC by next year because this toad isn’t going to be making 10 dollars an hour by 2010. Those 20 year olds hanging on his titties now will be a long gone memory, along with his wallet and what little dignity this future carney ever had.

  49. Alibi

    He’s in his 30s. Looks just fine. Kate is the one who got the tummy tuck. A lot of women like a man with some meat on him. Shows he’s been living the good life since he left the wicked witch. Good for you Jon Gosselin!

  50. Darth

    That walrus is missing his front teeth.

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