Jon Gosselin knows how to treat the ladies

September 1st, 2009 // 46 Comments

Still in Vegas from his pool party over the weekend (above), Jon Gosselin spent last night clubbing, playing the pity card and then making women sign confidentiality agreements for grinding up against them. Us Magazine reports:

“He spent as much time on his BlackBerry as drinking,” the witness adds. “He was taking pictures of the club and hot girls.”
But Jon didn’t seem to be in a great mood, the onlooker says.
“It’s been a tough year,” he was overheard saying shortly after buying an $89 bottle of champagne for his mostly male group.
But by 12:30 a.m., his spirits lifted and he was spotting singing along to “Living on a Prayer.”
Around 1:30 a.m., Jon hit up XS nightclub at Wynn Encore. An hour later, his entourage swelled to both men and women, and he hit the dance floor with “beautiful blonde models from Beacher’s Madhouse,” the witness says. Girlfriend Hailey Glassman was not spotted.
Gosselin clearly didn’t want his actions revealed, as body guards passed out confidentiality agreements to the women at 3 a.m.

BODYGUARD: Ma’am, I’m going to need you to sign this agreement that you won’t talk about Jon Gosselin aggressively rubbing his groin against you on the dance floor while crying about his ex-wife.
WOMAN: How about I not and make it worth his while instead?
BODYGUARD: I’ll have to check. *touches earpiece* Sir, we have a lady down here who doesn’t want to sign the agreement but is offering sex in return. Uh huh. I see. Well, I’d consider it a lot of cellulite. — Right away, sir. Ma’am, he’ll meet you upstairs.

Photos: Splash News

  1. I call 'em as I see 'em

    I repeat:

  2. Superbiggerevil

    Pretty pathetic.

  3. courtneealexis

    I feel so bad for his children … especially when they use for the first time. Ouch.

  4. courtneealexis

    I feel so bad for his children … especially when they use for the first time. Ouch.

  5. chupacabra

    Jeebus, really?

    Again, get past the bodyguards, and bitch slap his ass.

  6. Ted

    I admire Jon’s honesty with himself, as revealed in his shameless horndogging of overweight ordinary girls. Perhaps Kate will do the same, and hang out with broken men whose lips show the trauma inflicted by previous encounters with fanged vaginas.

  7. whaaat

    “Beautiful blonde models”? I would have to disagree, cellulite city on them thighs.

  8. face challenged

    And now we have the unlikley catnip to all butterfaces. A reality punk fat oaf who is too dumb and douchy to smell a goldigger when her fishy stank clam comes a knocking. Gawd this guy has worse taste in women than Guy Richie or that dude who married Julia Roberts. (and if you ask why Julia answer me this, would you want to be married to her? I think not.)

  9. Danklin24Danklin

    Jesus christ stop posting about this douche nozzle. You post about celebrities Fish. This guy is not a celebrity. He’s mildly famous for having super sperm which impregnated an ugly bitch. Case closed. No one needs to see them again….EVER!

  10. KIKI

    8. Not you with your butterface again. You are sooooo insecure!

  11. Phil

    Apparently he decided to hang out with the “Before” models.

  12. Superevil

    I’m tired of hearing about this douche.

  13. Clamhammer

    Here Fatty, sign this……..Now lets break out the coke and get the Parrtay staaaaaaaaaaaaaarted!

  14. Honora

    Why is he famous?? Or better question: Why is he photographed, talked about, blogged about, etc….. DEAR LORD, WHYYYYY???????? He is gross and fat. Let’s move on, please!!

  15. Manson

    This guy is a douchebag. I still get more ass than him. I would love to go a few rounds with him in the cage. Come on FATBOY JOHN are you up for it !!!! FAGGOT

  16. Samael

    This guy is on complete responsbility meltdown. It’s rebellion, no doubt. What guy wouldn’t be doing this in his place (minus the media coverage of course)?

    After being badgered constantly by the hag he was married to, it amazes me that this is all he is doing.

    That being said, I think he’s a d-bag.

  17. John

    What a douche.

  18. face challenged

    #10. Nope just honest and seriously pot meet kettle. You keep commenting because I use the word butterface, well these are butterevereythings, but why does this word upset you so much? God it is so easy to push your buttons, of course I called them that on purpose because I knew it would irritate many of you whiners. Are you actually defending these women? I mean do you even know where you are, we don’t hold hands in a circle here and say supportive loving things to each other, you are looking for

    Are you just pissed because you want some fat pudgy reality tv deatbeat octo-daddy?? Now fuck off already I feel like I’m being hounded by heidi montag clones.

  19. face challenged

    #11. Best comment EVER.

  20. sam

    How long before this douchebag starts hanging out with Spencer Pratt and Kevin Federlinr?

  21. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester

    I guess balding overweight reality stars do get the girls.

  22. face challenged

    #20. I am convinced they are the same person, it’s Spencer Pratt and two fat suits. Spencer is actually 40 years old and Heidi is a show pony he tricked most of us into believing is human by getting her breast implants, because everyone knows show ponies don’t have breast implants, except for that one that John Mayor used to date Horssica or something. Think about it, no human girl would ever have sex with Spencer and Heidi’s mane is always so shiny.

  23. Who says women only go after men for their money.

  24. robert

    Since when are chicks with flabby, flat asses hot?

  25. joe blow

    Wow…. who taught that manatee to walk upright in picture number 4?

  26. Smarter Than You


    Please stop posting these idiots!!!!

  27. Uncle Ruckus

    $89 bottle at XS? Did he buy Korbel or something?

  28. izzo

    are we sure these are woman ? I mean aren’t frat boys pleading right about now
    pics 1 2 3 are dudes!

  29. Yeah

    Dollars to doughnuts, Jon Gosselin reeks of unwiped ass and Stetson.

  30. He really pulls in the hotties, doesn’t he? lol.

  31. Poontang

    Do these woman really want to be stepmom to 8 kids? That would knock the pretty out of anyone.

  32. K-Fed Fan

    Fish, could you please post the pics of K-Fed in the pool. Us girls need some eye candy too!

  33. K-Fed Fan

    Fish, could you please post the pics of K-Fed in the pool. Us girls need some eye candy too!

  34. Rasputins Liver

    This dude is such a turd gobbler.
    He and his idiot ex-wife, not to mention so many others of the shitty “reality show” genre, actually think they are stars and are long haul entertainers.
    A whole nation of deluded arrested eveloped morons.
    Worhol’s bit about people gettin’ their fifteen minutes of fame. Look how low we’ve come down as a nation. “Reality” shit that has nothing whatsoever to do with reality.
    People went to war, fought and died….for this type of shit?!?
    Sad, man. Fuckin’ sad.

  35. heidi

    He is the king, awesome, keep it up pops! –

  36. Dirk Diggler

    This has to be the highest number of droopy asses ever assembled.

  37. he's too fugly for words

    i wouldn’t touch that guy with a ten foot pole. Not one thing about him seems attractive or exciting or even doable.

    Not enough beer in the world to make him look good.

  38. doug

    total and utter douchebag strikes again

    fat, flabby, no penis havin’ ugly ass mfer gets his own tv show and then thinks he’s a “celeb” ?? f**k u asshole, douchery of the finest order on display

  39. alibi

    Like his wife…….”It’s all for the kids”

  40. lucy

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  41. The "Trufh" Hurts

    His standards are so low…blah blah blah shaddap you jealous bitches, oh course Jon has zero standards, he slept with that friggin’ ugly witch that used to have his balls in a vise, finally kicked her to the curb, and about damn time I say…..

  42. FACE

    Someone shoot this a hole – please!

  43. Darth

    Since he knows how to treat the ladies.Where’s the wheelbarrow?

  44. Gando

    To carry the cash or the ladies around?!

  45. Galtacticus

    I agree with #43.A good gnome has always a wheelbarrow.

  46. Neville

    I love Kate Gosselin’s sexy thighs. When I watched her show on TLC, I used to masturbate to her when she sat on the sofa in her short pants. She’d move her legs in such a way that the studio lights would make the skin on her sexy thighs, glisten and shine. I read somewhere, where she said that she’d put baby oil on her legs before the taping of the Jon and Kate show, so viewers at home would have something sweet to look at. Thank you so much, Kate! I miss your show. Please come back to TLC. I’m so glad you got rid of Jon.

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