UPDATE: Jon Gosselin is banging ANOTHER chick

July 19th, 2009 // 106 Comments

Obviously realizing that dating Hailey Glassman could only end in her stealing his kidneys for blow, Jon Gosellin was spotted Saturday night in New York with a new mystery lady whose Facebook page is probably being ransacked as we speak. In the meantime, I love Jon’s expression in these pictures because you can genuinely tell he didn’t expect to run into the paparazzi. The words “Can’t a guy quietly bang a horde of homely looking white women before TLC cans my show?” might as well be written on his face.

UPDATE: Added pics of a post-dinner, friendlier Jon recognizing he better act like he wants to be seen with this woman if he plans on exposing her to the Jon-Gut later.

UPDATE: Celebuzz reports Jon’s date is Kate Major senior reporter for Star. Wait. They get to sleep with their stories? No fair.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Kara

    FIRST HA Matt

  2. Mujaki


  3. Mujaki

    Beat you, Kara!

  4. Kara


  5. Kara

    hehe, we’re nerds. superfical loving nerds. =D

  6. Doh!

    I find it ironic that a site that makes so much fun of Lindsay Lohan is running adds featuring her.

    Lindsay may be a coke head, but The Superficial is officially a whore.

  7. Mujaki

    Damn it all… you suck, Kara

  8. Kara

    Heh, yup, Thats why the boys like me, lawls.

    Im betting thats why Jon likes this random priss, as well. =p

  9. Melissa

    Dude, seriously… Jon is fucking scary fug. Nobody wants to suck face with some kind of mutant fish.

  10. BTW

    I used to like the show until the crazy came out – Jon is Korean/ french and other stuff, his family lives in Hawaii, and aren’t Japanese. – but big bag of mid life crises nonetheless

  11. rich

    I’m sick of people waiting around all day on a Saturday just to to say ‘first’. Kari and Mujaki….get a goddam life goddamnit!!!

  12. oo 12th

    12th 12th!

  13. harry

    Wow, these chicks get more and more harsh. Soon, he’ll have worked his way down to Jabba the Hutt level.

    BTW, does this guy remind anyone else of Ruben, the deli owner who appeared on Letterman occasionally?

  14. jean

    does anyone know who this girl is?

  15. Hotness

    She’s got a killer double chin

  16. Mister Bored

    Is this dude secretly taking the Bill Clinton method of dating? Marry a “I’m the pants wearer” she-bitch, fuck around with fugly chicks that nobody really wants and it gets reported?

    Seriously, if the chick is ugly, do us a favor and just tell us that some random, double-chinned chick is getting bonked by some dude with 8 kids. My imagination would have been close to this future pear-shaped creature for the two-chin lagoon.

  17. WHO FUCKING CARES??????????????

    I’m so sick of this crap about this nobody and his skanky nobody wife…They might as well make a reality show about the guys that run the drive-thru window at McDonalds….

    <——-Whats with the photoshopped ass on Lohan in this Labor Pains ad?

  18. WHO FUCKING CARES??????????????

    I’m so sick of this crap about this nobody and his skanky nobody wife…They might as well make a reality show about the guys that run the drive-thru window at McDonalds….

    <——-Whats with the photoshopped ass on Lohan in this Labor Pains ad?

  19. Beavis

    jesus christ this one is uglier than the last. I respect his taking in the homeless and all but this is getting ridiculous. a nice home cooked meal, 1 or 2 of the kids (he has enough to spare), fine. but he doesn’t have to screw every hobo tranny that he passes on the street.

  20. Hmpf ok, not my kind but if he want to,

  21. Amy

    Ummm yeahhh….he needs to head on back to Kate. Dating isn’t working out too well for him. Kate may be mean as hell, but she’s the best looking woman he’s going to get. No girl wants a jobless, Ed Hardy-wearing, small-penised man with EIGHT kids.

  22. Fati

    The Superficial writer is a hypocritical whore.

  23. friendlyfires

    1.)Like I care about this TLC disaster
    2.)Now what about the ads on your site about the Lindsay Lohan made for ABC Family movie – LABOR PAINS? Are you trying to induce nightmares? Are you going to force me to introduce a class action suit of unmitigated pain and suffering on your readership towards you and Anticlown Media? Take down the ad now and gimme and every other surfer $2.50 now and no one gets hurt. Stop waving your penis and flexing your abs, mine can crush coconuts and my abs are used to test jackhammers – ha! you lose! Now fork it over!

  24. Insatiable Peter

    I’ve seen more talented and better looking people at Applebee’s.

  25. Venom

    Notice he still has a D Bag Ed Hardy belt on.
    What a fag.

  26. Albin Bainbridge

    She seems more age-appropriate, and Jon’s clothes are OK, though that belt buckle is kind of stupid. I’ll say it’s an improvement, but only a little bit.

  27. Grooooaan… It’s only a matter of time before they’re making a movie about all this… we’ll see it, of course, since we’re obsessed. But the real question is – Who would play Jon?

  28. Fetcha

    You know Kate is at home laughing her ass off at the uglyness this man is parading around. Its that special kind of fugly when skinny chicks have double chins. Since I live in Texas I can concur, a belt buckle of such=fucktard.

  29. spicy


  30. ewfkv


  31. Richport's Ghost

    The gook side of Jon really seems to be coming out recently.

    Here he looks like he should be operating a dry cleaning business or selling Won-Ton on the street or something.

    Gook. Gookity gook gook. Riceball.com.

  32. kids ruin everything

    .FUCK this guy has the WORST taste in women ever, worse than Brad Pitt. Baby farmer here goes and MARRIES, not dates, but actually fucking marries, a butt ugly old-ass reversed mullet sporting super fertile ball crushing mega bitch whose milk most men wouldn’t want if she was giving it away yet he buys the whole ugly ass cow. Then he gets his douchy self and his massive dream crushing money sucking burden of a family fake-ass TV famous which does of course give him some $$$$$$ which should equal trashy yet fairly hot young whores. So he rightfully separates from his anti-trophy wife now that he has $$$$$$ to be able to test out better, fresher milk and what does he do? He fucking gets himself some, albeit young, but heinously fugly classless triple bagger whores who require at least six pairs of beer goggles to even appear barely mediocre.

    REALLY??? I mean, and BTW this is coming from a woman, DUDE after being married to that evil fucking hedgehog thing, a dealing with her vage which i probably as big as my doorway now and whose bitchy attitude is ten times bigger ( I wouldn’t even sit in the same room as her and you actually had sex with her and did stuff with her and took her and her backwards mullet out in public) so you fucking deserve some hot trashy sluts. I mean your fat, ugly, stupid, and a douchy reality star which makes you the worst kind of human being alive and your life and joy sucking nightmare of a mistake family should make ANY woman DEEPLY fear the baby making power of your pez dispenser of penis, but you still deserve it for marrying that troll.

    It’s funny Asian men supposedly have tiny pinky finger penises yet you sure can fucking repopulate the earth with those things. Guess size doesn’t matter if you want a litter of stupid rugrats. Since you seem set on dating ugly girls might I suggest Jennifer Aniston, your man fertileness would be a big turn on for her and she dated Vince Vaugh so clearly she has no problem with ugly people (it’s always heartwarming when ugly useless celebrities venture back to dating within their natural pre-fame league, which means once this reality shit blows over you should be dating an Amy Whinehouse meets Rosie O’Donnel type, but fatter and with more diseases and body hair). You could also try dating Angelina, no one seems to have told her that kids ruin your life and she also seems to like Asian kids so maybe you could manually fill her uterus up a few more times since her sweat shop is a little short staffed and Brad looks like a guy whose swimmers have reached their expiry date.

    Well Best of luck reality turd, with your track record you’ll need it cause your life is gonna suck BALLS so you better get those ugly bitches to suck your marbles now before your wife crushes them in court (unfortunately a lot of vile women use the judicial system to their full advantage and get way more then they deserve or would ever need) in other words you’ll be paying for a lot of porcupine haircuts at high end salons for the rest of your life.

    As a parting and sympathetic thought I have to wonder with the way your bitchass old lady’s ugly porcupine hair looks what on earth does her nasty baby popper look like. Did she style it like her hideous hair and if so did your peen bleed for hours every time you screwed her??? I assume her ass hole and poon looked and felt like a straw filled garbage disposal, but with more bleeding and drunk-crying “why did I put my dick into this thing”?

    Why indeed John, WHY??? I mean look what you’ve done… To all of us.

  33. Kids ruin everything (the tagline for Labor Pains)

    LABOR PAINS staring Linday fucking Lohan????

    This is THE worst casting of all time. They hire a lesbian anorexic crack whore who probably hasn’t had her peroid in a year to play some preggo girl on the fucking family channel??? The woman had to have an ass digitally added to her popsicle stick body and she’s playing a knocked up skank. Riiiight.

    At least she has her boobs to look more pregnantier, they’re like are some kind of witchcraft, or implants (whatever you find more believable). I mean she has no body fat left yet the freckled fat sacks are still hanging on. Too bad weight fluctation makes them sag like crazy.
    Even witth the large boobs and lack of fatness this girl will never be hot to me again to much shit has gone down with her and she can’t work the super skinny like some other girls can. Based on her lame new gig me thinks her career really is done. I thought since Britney brought crazy back bigger than Michael Jackson she had a chance, but I think crazy may have died with Michael and now for Hohan it’s just OVER.

    Ironically her only hope of remaining in the biz is to pop out or adopt a kid and become a momager like her heinous anti- mommy Dinasaurus. But the kid would never survive. I don’t think Lins can care for living creatures, which must be why she dated that zombie thing.

    Ah well and sorry for the long posts I needed to vent a little.

  34. Darth

    This could be his cousin or even his sister.I don’t hope for him he’s that retarded to date two girls in public.

  35. Galtacticus

    I guess he made already custody agreements.Otherwise it would be a move after bad moves. . .

  36. Gando

    Did he take the waitress home with him?

  37. Nero

    I like to have a big mac menu and how about yourself getting in my cab?

  38. NoMoreDouches

    Whew-Richports- Fetch the exorcist, I believe you’re being channeled by the spirit of Archie Bunker, tad harsh…

  39. sandog

    Enough with Jon’s left over belly I was once on his side cuz Kate acted crazy but he is scuz city hello your gfriend is using you stupid hello

  40. Rhialto

    Is Lilo’s movie finally finished?

  41. Chris

    She looks like the real life version of the Francine in American Dad.


  42. WillC


    If they make a movie of this and cast Jon, it had better damned well be the kid who played Corkie from “Life goes on”. Talk about another wretched woman show from the past but they sure look alike.

    P.S. As with everyone else, I am tearing my eyes out first thing in the morning by looking at this STUPID labor pains thing. Seriously? This is the best advertising you could get?

  43. Whitney

    that girls shirt cost 9.99 at tj maxx…i know cuz i have it. haha i shop there cuz im a poor college kid…just think its funny that hes dating a WOMAN who cant dress nicer.

  44. Brianne

    Yeah he’s a bit of a skeeze, but I don’t really see what the big deal is, guy probably had’nt been laid in years beforehand! And he’s not a REAL star so it’s not like he’s gonna get to date models and actresses, he’s getting laid where he can in the typical dude style. Pretty typical I’d say.

  45. Leave the kennel in Philly Jon, you’re in NYC now…try to date above your looks, you can afford it…

  46. hamper_lint

    Love the “Flash Dancers” ad o’ top of the cab ….

    For those who don’t know, it is a strip club in NYC.

  47. i think i've seen this chic before...

    … wait, wait… I’ve got it!! She looks a bit like Brit Spears, you know, after she gave birth and still carried the extra weight on her face and body. Even her smile and dark roots are similar.

    At least in these pics he dressed himself up a little, and she looks *slightly* more polished than the sneaker wearing frat-whores he normally surrounds himself with.

  48. Jackie

    @41, That is dead-on!

    Man, it’s gotta be embarrassing for Jon, being seen with one fugly scumbag after another. If he were smart, he’d be running back to Kate. And if she were smart, she’d kick him to the curb. Hah!

  49. Heather

    What an utter douche he is. The woman with him might not be pretty but take a look at him. He has “the fug”, too. Plus, when you are that much of an asshole and not ungodly wealthy, what type of woman are you going to get? A lot of gold-digger will overlook the looks and the douchery if you have the cash but he doesn’t. I think Kate was the big money maker in that relationship anyway.

  50. Freekity geek

    @41, yes, totally. thank you, could not remember who she reminds me of.

    So Jon’s type is blonde fugs– not really so surprising.

    Dude, you’re not 18 anymore. The hair plugs should have indicated that to you. Grow up and go back to your wife. Instead of leaving her and your 8 kids, you should’ve just put on your grown-up pants and not let her boss you around all the time. You’re making a fool of yourself, and your kids.

    PS: If they make a movie, he should be played by Horatio Sanz. He’s not Asian, but I think he’d be a good fit.

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