Jon Gosselin has to be kidding me and other news

- Jason Schwartzman got married which was probably awesome until everyone kept comparing the reception to Rushmore. [PopEater]

- Nicole Kidman has been reduced to reality television. Have you no tiny heart in your tiny chest, Tom Cruise?! [Lainey Gossip]

- Renee Zellweger isn’t bringing Bradley Cooper on the red carpet yet. Though in all fairness, anything more attractive than a zucchini will make her look ugly by comparison. [PopSugar]

- Ricky Martin takes his “Let’s Face It, I’m Gay” twins to the beach. [Just Jared]

- Amy Winehouse might be a contestant on the UK version of Dancing with the Stars. I might hate reality TV with the very essence of my being, but I would watch the fuck out of that. I don’t care who knows it. [Celebslam]

- Celine Dion is pregnant with an eight-year-old embryo. Looks like Canadian health care ain’t so bad after all. (Ignoring the fact she might’ve had procedure done in U.S. and is super rich.) [Splash News]

- Brooke Hogan bailed out of a concert in New York because she’s stressed out about what people think. Really? I figured she’d be adjusted to the penis theories by now. [The Blemish]