Jon Gosselin has to be half retarded. At minimum.

November 23rd, 2009 // 53 Comments

Jon and Kate Gosselin had an all-day mediation hearing on Saturday that will essentially finalize their divorce and apparently things went remarkably smooth. Minus the rocky beginning when Jon tried to ham things up for the cameras. People reports:

Nor was she shocked when Jon showed up to the session with a bouquet of roses. His lawyer said they were a peace offering, but Kate saw it as something else and refused to take them.
“In what should have been their most serious moment as a couple,” says the source, “Jon again resorted to a publicity stunt.”

Proving how much he loves his children, Jon also gave Kate primary custody of the kids during the proceedings without a fight. Then again, who needs a bunch of rugrats knocking over all your incense and Ed Hardy tapestries while finding bottles of rohypnol under the couch? Sure, he knows how to keep powering through questionable labia when it happens, but what if they scratch his Nickelback CDs? You see where I’m going with this.

Photos: Fame
superficial

  1. Chad

    Der her first!

  2. Jess

    Thank-god this is coming to an end!!!!!!!!!

  3. T&A

    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
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    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
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    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN
    BAG ‘EM WHILE YOU CAN

  4. Ellen

    Ed Hardy tapestries…..hahahaha!

  5. Rick

    People who say first are losers~~Just like this couple~~~

  6. Jon Gosselin is a player son!

  7. toolboy

    “Then again, who needs a bunch of rugrats knocking over all your incense and Ed Hardy tapestries while finding bottles of rohypnol under the couch? Sure, he knows how to keep powering through questionable labia when it happens, but what if they scratch his Nickelback CDs? You see where I’m going with this.”

    *Toolboy stands, begins 1980′s slow clap, wipes tear from eye, cue “wind beneath my wing” playing softly. *

  8. katie

    what a fuckin douchebag.

  9. Mia

    He is disgusting. Any woman who would spread for him deserves her herpes.

  10. chick

    This guy wins the gold medal for his ability to consistently surround himself with the ugliest people possible.

  11. David Hasslehoff's Beer Farts

    Why is he posing with the New England Patriots starting line up?

  12. David Hasslehoff's Beer Farts

    BTW who is he and what has this Josh Goblin done?

  13. kara

    Good riddance to Jon. Wonder if he will get roses when TLC finishes him off for good. And it doesn’t sound like he’s spending turkey day with his woman hailey….

  14. Let the woman take care of the kids, that’s what women are for.

  15. sally

    since when is this asian dude ever been attractive? i’m sorry, but i’ve always thought asian people do look a bit retarded, physically.

  16. Chad

    @5 Rick.

    Ricky my man it’s obvious I am light heartedly making fun of the people who say first with the der her comment afterwards but apparently you are not bright enough to detect sarcasm on your own via text so I figured I would help you out.

    Also Rick my good friend, It has always and I truley mean ALWAYS made me laugh my face off when people who browse the internet and the exact same website as me or all the rest of these folks and have the absolute nerve to call those same people losers. Do you also fail to see how hypocritical you are? What’s next are you gonna tell me Im fat and live with my mom and ugly and you’re rich and handsome and fuck models all day via an internet message board? Fucking hypocrite moron.

  17. Mickey01232000

    No Dude, he is full on retarded. After all it seems that women have an affinity for the Corky types of the world. What else would explain how this ugly fat gnome continues to get laid. It is that or the money that has to be just about gone or will be when TLC gets done with him.

  18. Hahahaha I love how he’s starting to look like a third rate Vince Vaughn in these pics.

  19. dontlooknow

    God, he’s making Kate look like the good one that got away!

  20. Vanessa

    I just don’t get him. If he wanted to go around and bang ugly chicks, BFF it with a Lohan and wear shirts that are douchebag bullseyes, couldn’t he have waited until after the divorce? Kate is playing it smart. Milking the scroned exwife until everything goes through.

  21. STUPIFIED

    I guess for these chicks, it is like taking a picture with Chuck-E-Cheese, big fat stupid mouse that he is….

  22. Jenna

    Soooo watching the finale tonight. :-D And getting drunk.

  23. Rough's P.O.V.

    The thought of it gave me the douche chillz, ill bet he pick that embarrassing maneuver from estranged papa Lohan…

  24. Rough's P.O.V.

    Im convinced Kate does some black magic in order for this guy to be surrounded by dogs at all time..

  25. me

    he really is probably one of the worst fathers i have ever seen. i wonder if he knows what a total asshole he is? what a scumbag!

  26. Lulu

    dude is soooo losing his hair too. Check out this paparazzi pic…that hair transplant totally didn’t work…or at least for long. http://www.tiny.cc/JonHair

  27. Timberland shoes come with a “nutrition index” to inform customers about the environmental footprint being left by their footwear, and the company is involved in reforestation efforts in China and Haiti. Last winter, in partnership with Green Rubber, it launched two footwear collections using rubber from recycled tires for its Earthkeeper line of shoes.

  28. hamper_lint

    get brown bag, lean over and puke.

  29. darian

    lol @ 10. what a stupid assclown he is. reminds me of a shit i took once. definitely number 1 on my list of people who will be dying alone in 30-40 years and wonder why. perhaps someone should hand him this picture if he asks: the story of his sad, pathetic life. take responsibility for your kids and make something of yourself already, you waste of semen. or one day reality will bite you hard in your fat ass.

  30. The Dude III

    @3 datswhaimsayn

    Seriously, this Jon guy is pretty fucking genius. Keep in mind tho, spell check came up when I first tried to spell genius.

  31. sexchill

    Is it really? I never heard of that! Frustrated by being still single and not finding your Mr. Right? I know a hot and interesting place for wealthy people and their admirers named @@@@Billionairepal.com**** where I have met my boyfriend. You may take a look.

  32. Jean

    Why is the writer of this article being such a douchebag? Just because Jon is signing custody of his primary custody of his kids to his wife, who does a wonderful job taking care of them? Dah???? Some things need to be settled, and he’s letting them finally be settled as in a million other divorces across the country but you don’t call those men douche bags do you? He’s trying just to handle his business with a woman who totally trashed him during his marriage. He deserves to move on with a wife who treated his like dirt.

  33. Jean

    Why is the writer of this article being such a douchebag? Just because Jon is signing custody of his primary custody of his kids to his wife, who does a wonderful job taking care of them? Dah???? Some things need to be settled, and he’s letting them finally be settled as in a million other divorces across the country but you don’t call those men douche bags do you? He’s trying just to handle his business with a woman who totally trashed him during his marriage. He deserves to move on with a wife who treated his like dirt.

  34. kg

    Jean- STFU. Jon is the douchebag. Look at the pics. See how he’s been acting recently. WHY would anybody defend this retarded turd. Are you a bitter deadbeat dad yourself? Or a sad housewife with a husband who beats her? Geez, the morons on this site always astound me.

  35. TT

    …”but what if they scratch his Nickelback CDs” – just another reason I read this site religiously. Too funny.

  36. Toolboy

    #32 and #33 – Jean (Jon, whateva)
    Some very good questions in your post. Let’s break ‘em down.
    1. The writer (Fish) is being such a douche because Jon is really cutting into his ability to get “questionable labia” . What with his Ed Hardy T-shirts and his come hither Marlboro squints and all. Chain smoking chunkies at the bowling alley love that shit.
    2. What is “Dah??” Is that a Russian yes? If you meant Duh, the “u” is in the middle of the keyboard. Vowels confuse me too.
    3. Actually, I have seen Fish call other runaway fathers douches. He even wrote a song about it called “House of Pain” when he was in Faster Pussycat. “A boy needs a daddy like dance to mime” , what a great line. Fish speaks from the heart, Jean, from the heart.
    I hope this helps, now if you will excuse me, I have a big bag of Cheetos and some porn to catch up on….hello there little orange penis.

  37. EricLR

    Show respect, son! JGoss is a hero to all of us who cruise the Walmart parking lots of America for our women. If you play your cards right, you can meet them coming right from the pharmacy counter after they’ve got a fresh Valtrex refill.

  38. Oscar

    Which of these four fat ladies is Jon?

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  40. He is full on retarded.

  41. Cowabunga fat fuck.

  42. hi,
    Good riddance to Jon. Wonder if he will get roses when TLC finishes him off for good.

  43. its great that she is still rockin’ the bod but it is just too damn old and dusty, put it away Pam

  44. its great that she is still rockin’ the bod but it is just too damn old and dusty, put it away Pam

  45. carla

    I wanted to PEE when I read this , I was a dedicated Jon and Kate watcher and I realized that it was solely to watch Jon get punked out by Kate . After he was gone, the SHOW SUCKED. I thought who cares about the kids , Kate or Jon. They are making millions and acting like movie stars. For me to have 4 kids, work my butt off , struggle to feed them and these 2 dont even work and live in mansion and do nothing but projects with their kids and vactions is bullcrap ! Wheres the realworld . PAY SOME DAYCARE DAMNIT>Jon is acting stupid tho, I hope to see him flipin burgers at the local McD’s so I can laugh my butt off at his stupid A**! LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF I WAS KATE , ALL I WOULD SAY IS DEAR JON,
    I HOPE YOU GET CRABS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  46. he is absolutly trickster.

  47. Dee

    As a parent of a special needs child, I am astounded and offended that anyone would use the term “retarded” or “retard” in such a derrogatory manner. With all the other words that you could use as a descriptive, why on earth would you choose a term that describes the mentally challenged population, as an insult or put down to someone else? As if, somehow, the mentally challeneged people’s condition is less desirable or imperfect. By doing this, you are essentially making fun of a group of people who have no way to defend themselves and no way to change the affliction that they were born with. They did not choose to be this way, nor can they do anything to change it.

    I would encourage you to go to “therword.org” and educate yourselves on this.

    Those of you who use this word in this way should be ashamed of yourselves.

  48. sheila

    ive got to say this…………now who’s getting fat and has bad hair……..JON…….lol

  49. living the F.A.B life, fat asian and balding

  50. Jon and Kate Gosselin had an all-day mediation hearing on Saturday that will essentially finalize their divorce and apparently things went remarkably smooth.when he was in Faster Pussycat. A boy needs a daddy like dance to mime, what a great line. Fish speaks from the heart, Jean, from the heart.

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