Jon Gosselin dumped Hailey Glassman

November 1st, 2009 // 30 Comments

Because there’s never a shortage of mediocre trim in America (Thanks, fast food!), Jon Gosselin has parted ways with Hailey Glassman who, in one last act of submission, participated in a carefully planned publicity campaign to make Jon look like he’s going on a deep, spiritual quest. People reports:

Still, a source told PEOPLE, “This was all a carefully orchestrated sequence: First, Hailey laments how hard her life has been lately and how bad Jon treats her, then Jon repents. Next, Jon plans to announce that he is going to be spending some time alone.”
The source added, “It has all been designed so that it doesn’t seem as though Hailey got dumped.”

Of course this plan will inevitably fall apart considering Jon Gosselin has all the discretionary skills of a live grenade. No, really, by Monday morning I guarantee we’ll be hearing first person accounts of Jon seducing women in an Applebee’s parking lot. “He said he’d get me my own reality show but all he did was steal my doggie bag after 30 seconds of intercourse. 25 of which he spent telling me to demean him until he got an erection. ‘In Kate’s voice! IN KATE’S VOICE!’

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Anon

    First..?

  2. maeby

    you spelled America wrong. terrorist.

  3. killerabbit

    Oh nooooooooo!

  4. Josette

    Maeby sounds like a hater. Everyone makes mistakes.

  5. maeby

    wow, you guys have no sense of humor. awesome.

  6. Chow Mein

    Maeby is a hater. LOL.

  7. Becky

    I’d say “stop posting, I’m sick of them”, except it’s gone past annoying for me, and back to entertaining.

  8. cho-cho

    Can you imagine how fucked up their kids will be. This is going to be a trainwreck, just like the (so called) parents.

  9. Rough's going to Hell

    What a simpleton! he’s taking advice from hack rabbi to the stars (stars only, not regular schmoes) shmulie butochs…(pronounce with a deep loogie from the throat)

  10. Tracy

    Everytimes I think how I used to watch that show, I want to go back in time & beat my lame ass up.

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  12. Bittybabe

    WHAT AN IDIOT.

    SHE IS NUMBER ? GIRL SLEEPING WITH AN UGLY, PUDGY MARRIED MAN WITH 8 KIDS.

    WHAT IDIOTS THE BOTH OF THEM.

    HOW IRONIC THAT THINGS JUST DIDN’T WORK OUT.

    KATE’S THE REAL WINNER IN THIS SITUATION. SHE IS DIVORCING THE UGLY PIMPLY DUCKLING.

  13. Maybe he will grow up and decide to be a responsable adult. He has made his own horrible decisions. He is nothing but an adulter and money grubbing fool. The girlfriend saw the gravy train ending.

  14. Axel

    Really? Why do you keep talking bout this fag?

  15. cheadles

    You know this chick has low self-esteem & sucks dick to get men to like her.

  16. Hey horrible decision. I just can’t believe it. I mean how could see do that? By the way thanks for sharing this. I like all posts of superficial.

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  20. GiveMeABreak

    For the love of Christ! Jon is now Jewish? And single? Kate really screwed him up good!

  21. Max Planck

    Smokers suck.

  22. EricLR

    But how will he ever find another fame-hungry JAP in New York City?

  23. How desperate of a gold digger do you have to be to go for HIM?

  24. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    He’ll just trade this dog faced Jew for another one.

  25. Of course this plan will inevitably fall apart considering Jon Gosselin has all the discretionary skills of a live grenade. No, really, by Monday morning I guarantee

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  29. Is an ignoramus! He is taking advice from the throat with a deep loogie (stars not only regular schmoes) shmulie butochs … (Pronunciation stars Rabbi hack:)

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