Jon Gosselin responds to affair accusations

Jon Gosselin responded to affair accusations from his alleged mistress’ brother who claims the two have been sexually involved since February. People reports:

“These allegations are false and just plain hurtful,” Gosselin says in a statement exclusively to PEOPLE. “As I adjust to the attention that comes from being in the public eye, I need to be more careful and aware of who I am associating with and where I am spending my time. But the bottom line is, I did not cheat on Kate. I am sorry for putting my family in this awkward position, given some poor decisions and bad judgments I’ve made recently.”

Deanna Hummel also spoke to People and claims her unemployed brother is getting back at her for kicking him out of their house:

“My brother is making this all up,” Hummel tells PEOPLE. “He has no credibility … I can’t even stomach the lies he’s saying about me.”
Hummel continues to deny any sort of romantic relationship with Gosselin, and the elementary school teacher admits that there’s been bad blood between her and her brother for a while now. “My brother is very shady,” says Hummel. “He has no job. He has a criminal background. He was charged for drug distribution. He’s on probation right now.”
And though the siblings live together, she says she was in the process of buying their home – and asking him to move out. “He wanted to get back at me … he knows he’s getting kicked out of the house.”

Man, now, I don’t know what to believe. I should probably watch reruns of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and look for clues.

UPDATE: Here’s what I figured out so far: I need a vasectomy. NOW. Seriously, if you’re holding a spoon, you’re hired. Meet me behind the dumpster out back where I’ll be disinfecting the area with whatever booze I can win from a wino in a knife fight.

UPDATE: Boone’s Farm!

Photos: Splash News