Jon Hamm’s Friends Ask Him To Impregnate Them

March 23rd, 2012 // 34 Comments
Bitch, No You Di'int
Jon Hamm January Jones
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“Hello. Yes. I’m the guy everyone wants to fuck.”

When you’re a rugged, meaty piece of stubbled, fictionally misogynistic handsome like Jon Hamm, you’re faced with a daily struggle that only someone like myself can relate to because we’re soulmates. And that struggle is having close friends constantly come up with crazy excuses for you to fuck them, like, “Hey, I’m getting old. Mind putting a baby in my uterus?” Via Starpulse:

“I have actually been asked to be a father by a friend who wanted to have a kid. It was kind of weird and out-of-nowhere and I said no.”
“Mainly because I was totally unemployed, and I would feel so responsible, even though they said, ‘Don’t worry, no strings attached.’”

“Later, I’d find out ‘no strings attached’ meant ‘Haha! I had a hysterectomy five years ago’ which was actually quite clever because I’m the kind of guy who would’ve kept fucking her just to make sure she got pregnant. And as a friend she attempted to prey on that, so long story short, I try to stay home a lot.”

Photo: Getty


  1. AAPL made me rich!

    Sick of this bitch.

  2. Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, Phil. I’d rather not reenact scenes from ‘Firefly’ with you, especially not with you nude and crying like that. Security!”

  3. BE

    Thank you Fish!

  4. January Jones Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell happened to them? They look REAL old.

  5. January Jones Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve turned down sex too but it was because of herpes.

  6. Jon Hamm
    Commented on this photo:

    “I ain’t had a single jerk-off callous since the show started!” – Jon Hamm

  7. Cock Dr

    This man’s girl children will likely be damned funny looking.
    Square jawed, square headed and thick.
    Jon’s ok though. He looks like he’s capable of vigorous & prolonged thrusting. And he dissed the K clan.

    • Shasta

      So like the Willis girls? Really, Jon was doing his friend a favor. Can you imagine trying to push out a head like that?

  8. January Jones Christina Hendricks
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Ms Hendricks looks as big as a moose in that dress.
    Black can be slimming but it’s not black magic.

  9. Clarence Beeks

    I’d have his baby in a HEARTBEAT!

  10. Jill

    This picture just screams “I’m here for the gang bang”.

  11. January Jones Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture is exactly how my fantasy began.

    baow chicka baow baow

  12. El Jefe

    Maybe the friend was also fat and hideously ugly?

  13. mr natural

    holy hell is this site run by turd-fuckers or what!? first alexander sauerkraut and now this real-life dick tracy that makes the buzzmedia freaks start a chocolate choo-choo train

  14. He probably would have given the okay to some of that pee-in-her-butt action that seems to be so popular around here.

  15. smoke

    I hate pretty much every person on Earth. I don’t hate Jon Hamm. I wonder if he would be willing to beat Clooney to death?

  16. Jon Hamm
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey look, it’s Kevin Sorbo with one better role!

  17. Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch looks like she enjoys a meal and I’d like to see her eat.

  18. It just makes sense. If you want to make good looking babies that’s the kind of guy you look for. Male babies, not female.

    P.S. January Jones must never pull her hair back like that again. always keep your hair loose so it frames your egg shaped face.

  19. January Jones Christina Hendricks
    turd da third
    Commented on this photo:

    which one wears the strapon?

  20. January Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    This bitch is fug and she can’t act.

  21. January Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Big ears and big forehead = goloid.

  22. Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    That lipstick didn’t look good on Rose McGowan and it doesn’t look good on her!

  23. January Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “I will fuck your husband!”

  24. January Jones Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    Stick and Thick: The Later Years.

  25. Jon Hamm
    Commented on this photo:

    “i’m sorry, I seem to be having trouble hearing you over how awesome I am”

  26. axl

    What’s with all the homoerotic jon hamm posts lately. like every day he talks about wanting to have gay sex with him. it was kind of funny at first (i think it was funny, as funny as gay sex can be) but not it’s just kind of awkward.

    • K Kardashian

      Well, figure it out. There’s hardly any tits on this site, it’s mostly about John Hamm, Starsgard, Fassbender and every other comment here is about “how ugly” some hot chick is.

  27. Pururaj

    , the world is summed up to these top20 ctorunies. It’s not around the world . Those are basically some places of the north hemisphere.But, please, don’t worry. This nice blog isn’t the place to this old fashioned and annoying kind of complaint.I shouldn’t write that comment. Sorry.

  28. January Jones Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    even the ‘herbal’ cigarettes they smoke on the set are NOT healthy…obviously

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