Jon Hamm Is Officially, 100% Single (For Real This Time)

“He’s inside of you right now? But you’re way over there.”

I’ve lost count of how many times Jon Hamm’s penis has supposedly been single, but this time, there’s an official statement, so you can start dilating those cervixes now both for comfort and to get any kids out of there quickly. They’re not going to want to be around for this. PEOPLE reports:

“With great sadness, we have decided to separate, after 18 years of love and shared history,” the couple tells PEOPLE in a joint statement. “We will continue to be supportive of each other in every way possible moving forward.”

Remember that scene in Dumbo where Dumbo’s mom signs the stork’s delivery pad with her trunk? I don’t know why I just thought of that. Random.

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