Jon Hamm Knows We’re Looking At His Penis

March 27th, 2013 // 36 Comments
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Jon Hamm‘s on the cover of the new Rolling Stone where he admits he’s aware of the Internet’s fascination with his penis and isn’t entirely cool with it, but it is what it is. Via Us Weekly:

“Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek, but it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience,” complains the award-winning AMC star, who has been dating Jennifer Westfeldt since 1997. (Talk of Hamm’s genitals accelerated last week, when the Daily News claimed that the actor was asked to wear undergarments for season six of Mad Men due to “tight” 1960s-era pants.)
Continued Hamm of the X-rated scrutiny on his underwear-less excursions: “They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason. I’m wearing pants, for f–k’s sake. Lay off.”
Still, the celebrated NYC resident keeps it all in perspective, for the most part. “I mean, it’s not like I’m a f—ing lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my c–k, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal [of fame].”
“But whatever,” says the well-endowed Hmm, sipping a Budweiser during the Rolling Stone interview. “I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”

While a justified reaction here would be, “Aw, the poor millionaire’s sad everyone loves his giant penis,” keep in mind all this attention ended in AMC forcing him to wear underwear. The man’s practically in a cage. Sometimes at night he commandos a pair of khakis and walks around the house knocking over pictures and small plants, but it’s just not the same. It’s just not the same.

Photos: Rolling Stone / Bauer-Griffin

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  1. JC

    #FreeHammsSausage

  2. generally if you cock is out there, you’ve got a pretty good notion that it’s out there, because you probably put it there.

    http://www.rocktownhall.com/blogs/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Robert-Plant.jpg

  3. Deacon Jones

    I dont get the whole free-balling thing…..I got out of that in college when I actually had money to do laundry.

    That’s like a woman with huge fake tits walking around in a cotton t-shirt with no bra. “I dont know why I get all this attention!”

  4. Hey, good for him, having a giant schlong. On an unrelated note, does anyone have any ideas how to keep a knackwurst from going rancid in my pants? I’ve tried dryer sheets, Febreze, dryer sheets with Febreeze… all to no avail.

    • Cock Dr

      I strongly discourage this sort of subterfuge.
      Meat products shoved down the pants can only result in unpleasant odors at best; dog bites and a trip to the EM are what you should be worrying about.

  5. TheListener

    Here’s an idea, Jon. If you don’t want people talking about your penis, PUT ON UNDERWEAR.

  6. Fish’s dream movie will star Jon Hamm and Michael Fassbender.

  7. Inner Retard

    Jon Hamm’s penis is taunting me. It’s like your best friend’s wife in a bikini. You shouldn’t look but just can’t help it. Damn Full View feature.

  8. chicka

    ok then, no Hamm for Easter! booooo

  9. Cock Dr

    We’re not looking at his penis…we’re looking at his pants.
    We certainly WISH we were looking at his penis but I can tell Jon is a teaser and will be playing this game for a good long time.

  10. The ladies love the Hamm bone.

  11. Lemmiwinks

    If Jon is uncomfortable with people staring at his penis he should tuck it because I’m certain no one will notice if he appears to have sprouted a prehensile tail.

  12. Matt Lauer

    Nice pic on the Rolling Stone cover. That’s what Keanu Reeves might look like if he wasn’t a douche and had a penis.

  13. logan

    men talk about women’s boobs and camel toes, so think it is only fair that we can talk about Jon Hamm’s junk.

  14. ZZZ

    When asked it’s opinion, his penis tweeted that it wants it’s 15 minutes (or inches!) of fame. It’s sick of being in Jon’s shadow.
    When asked about this tweet, Jon simply said
    What a prick…He thinks he is such a big shot….Whatever, we have our ups and downs, but ultimately we will stay together. I have to smack him around occasionally, and he stands up to me. But I always have the upper hand.

  15. Jon Hamm’s dick is so big, he entered it in a big dick contest, and it came in first, second & third.

    Jon Hamm’s dick is so big, it has an elbow.

    Jon Hamm’s dick is so big, he uses a hula hoop as a cock ring.

    Jon Hamm’s dick is so big, there’s still snow on it in the
    summertime.

  16. John Hamm – AKA, “The Human Tripod”. Yes ladies, he leaves 3 tracks in the sand when he walks on the beach.

    Maybe, in Season 6 of “Mad Men”, Don will finally get involved with Joan after showing her his “Opie the one-eared elephant” routine as a counter to her “Dueling Hindenburgs” demonstration. Ah, high art!

  17. Chuck Norris

    Poor Hamm running around with a fake dong in his pants to get attention. Sad really.

  18. Rob

    He’s so full of shit. He’s free balling in som tight thin pants; he knows his dick is showing. He’s advertising for pussy. His plan just worked too well and now he wants people to cool it before his girlfriend gets pissed

  19. Dr. Fitzsimmons

    Jimmy Chamberlain with new look?

  20. His new show is called Mad Penis.

  21. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Omg omg, I am freaking out, it seems like he’s only got big low hanging balls, the hell with Mad Men!

  22. lawn

    I wish Fish would get over his damn obsession with Hamm’s cock.

  23. Don Draper's Dad

    I don’t hear Hulk Hogan complaining.

  24. Lou Braccant

    He’s no Liam Neeson

  25. the wrecker

    You don’t wear underwear because when you are taking a break from being rich and famous and fucking a lovely lady on expensive sheets, tables, couches or balconies, you just thrown on your amazingly comfortable $400 trousers and $2000 dollar slip ons and hit the street on your way to a millionaire’s lunch wherever you are and underwear never even crosses your mind, you lucky dog you.
    Long may you wave.

  26. Jon Hamm Penis
    matt
    Commented on this photo:

    Guys just pull up the pants and let the dicks fall where they may.

  27. Brooke

    How disrespectful of RS to have Hamm say he hates the attention he’s getting for his cock only to follow that up with “says the well-endowed Hamm”.

    “I wish my breasts weren’t the only thing people notice” said the double-D cup Cindy McFloozie.

    That said, yes, it is part of being a super celebrity to get noticed and scrutinized. I have big boobs and know going braless brings unwanted attention, so I only do it around the house since I don’t wanted to be stared at. He should either be happy people are being positive about his dick, when in most cases he’d be slandered for it, or if it bothers him he should, duh, wear underpants.

  28. Jon Hamm Penis
    FreedomFirst
    Commented on this photo:

    What? I don’t see anything bigger than normal here…pfhhh…

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