The Jon Hamm Penis We Missed
Yesterday was goddamn busy as hell, and there’s still shit falling out of the Golden Globes’ butt, so unfortunately Jon Hamm’s penis fell through the cracks, which tells you how big they were. (The size of the earth.) So please enjoy these photos of said cock as January Jones stands next to it and tries to pretend she still knows what day it is. Or imagine her walking up to plants and saying in a sultry voice, “Why, asparagus haberdasher, we meet again,” then buckling at the knees as her blended kidneys fall out. It’s your dime.