Jon Hamm’s Penis, You Came Back!

October 3rd, 2012 // 64 Comments
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Jon Hamm Penis
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It seems like an eternity since we last saw Jon Hamm‘s penis demanding to be seen despite the presence of pants, so here it is making a slightly less prominent return, so we shafted spiced things up by adding celebrity reactions to its girth-ajesty and splendor. I won’t spoil the end for you, but do you think a double stroller is too expensive of a gift? I like to tell myself Jon Hamm’s penis and I are at that level of our friendship even though it sometimes takes a day or three to respond to my texts. It’s just busy, okay? Really, really busy. YOU DON’T KNOW US.

“So, what’d you do with your college degree today, son?”
“I dedicated a song to a penis on the Internet.”
“…. Change your last name.”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Splash News, WENN


  1. Not bad for white dude.

  2. Matt Lauer

    Kinda like Babe Ruth indicating in the direction of his next home run, Jon pointing at the next woman (or group of women) his rogue penis will mysteriously impregnate.

  3. EricLr

    The nightmare scenario is that some mad doctor might someday find a way to transplant Jon Hamm’s penis onto Alexander Skarsgard’s body. If that were to happen, it would usher in a thousand years of darkness–with mankind going to the brink of the abyss itself and barely surviving.

  4. stratacat

    notice how you never see the skarsgard and jon hamm’s penis in the same place at the same time?

  5. LL Cool
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently not Cool enough to know that only tools tuck their fucking ears into their hats.

  6. Jon Hamm Penis
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Hopefully these two are out clothes shopping.

  7. Chris Brown
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    “No – you can hardly notice it.”

  8. Joanne

    “Jon Hamm’s Penis, You Came Back!” – Did it every really leave? That thing’s been blazed into my subconscious since that other picture!

  9. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:


  10. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    good then, it’s unanimous – 3 to nothing, we walk North!

  11. Peter Dinklage
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s so widdle and cute – I just wanna pick him up, twirl him around and screech ‘Wheeee!!’
    they like that, right?

  12. Cock Dr

    This man needs to go on a long hot beach vacation.

  13. Peter Dinklage
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, come on. Clearly this is Dinklage doing his impression of Michael Shannon.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      Clearly this is Dinklage doing his impression of Jon Hamm’s dong in a suit. And to scale, no less.

  14. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he wearing that hat so him and his penis look like twinsies?

  15. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, his penis is shaped like the neck of a champagne bottle. No wonder all the women want it!

  16. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at it and weep, boys!

  17. Jude Law
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he’d have skid marks. No fucking thanks!

  18. Crissy

    Jon, you can point in whatever direction you want, but you sure know where I AM looking…

  19. Jon Hamm Penis
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    Based on his shirt looks like his dick comes out of his chest hangs down like a tie and he had to tuck the end of it in his pants because it was too long for his shirt to hide.

  20. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    The song after the jump! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

  21. Jude Law
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:


  22. TooCoo

    Right back at you, Taylor Swift.

  23. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    CHRIS: I want John Hamm’s Penis!
    PROSECUTOR: You can’t HANDLE John Hamm’s penis!

  24. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s not a star…

  25. Mitt Romney Chipotle Photobomber
    Commented on this photo:

    “You think John Hamm has a big dick? Check out the giant dick standing next to me!”

  26. Jude Law
    Commented on this photo:

    wishing and hoping and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming each night of his charms, that won’t get you in to his arms… all you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and squeeze him and love him, just do it and after you do, you will be his…

  27. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Either buy bigger pants, or tighty whiteys. Seriously, it’s getting out of hand.

  28. LL Cool
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it getting hot over here, or is that Jon Hamm’s penis I just saw? That thing could knock out a burglar!

  29. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh shit, I’d beat that thing silly.

  30. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    It says to go this way. I’ve learned to listen to it and not make it angry in public.

  31. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    Mine can drink Champagne by itself… your move Hamm.

  32. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Cameltoe, just whoddaya think you’re pointing at?”

  33. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck this shit. Where are the zoomed in photos?

  34. Sarah

    Okay. But when will it be on Piers Morgan?

  35. Would you like one of my flowers?

  36. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Jon Hamm doesn’t take his dick for a walk, Jon Hamm’s dick walks Jon Hamm!

  37. “AFTER all YOUR public defender, bullshit sympathetic white boy guilt cries to her ?”

    That never happened. Are you lost?

  38. Helena Handbasket

    Lately this website has become a magical special place, full of joy and charm. I find myself lingering here lovingly, lost in happiness whilst time flies by. Keep up the good work, ‘fish! (I do need a new keyboard, though.)

  39. He’s just trying to get his penis to the set of Game of Thrones so it can film its scenes.

  40. For the love of God, don’t let that thing near Skarsgard!

  41. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    if you cannot grow facial hair…SHAVE your face!

  42. LL Cool
    Commented on this photo:

    These pics are so great

  43. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Dang that thing don’t quit

  44. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude has permanent Sarah Brightman cheeks.

  45. And how does Jon Hamm’s penis fit into all this?

  46. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like a shower, not a grower, to me

  47. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    and a fat nose

  48. Jon Hamm Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Yummy…I say

  49. Jon Hamm Penis
    Ursus Indomitus
    Commented on this photo:

    Who cares? They’re BOTH dicks.

  50. Jude Law
    Geeky Cub
    Commented on this photo:

    Back that thang up, Jude! Nice Bumper boy! ;-)

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