Jon Hamm’s Penis Lost A Dating Show? Impossible

April 7th, 2014 // 13 Comments
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While Photo Boy and I were being intrepid online editors who took Friday off to watch Captain America and eat burritos, a 1996 episode of The Big Date went viral thanks to 25-year-old contestant Jon Hamm who somehow lost despite possessing the mythical hammer Hammbonejnir. Even more ridiculous, TMZ actually told the woman about the Hammaconda over the weekend, and she said she’d do it all over again because she’s a giant lesbian. You can’t see it in the video, but there’s a Subaru parked in her driveway. That’s how quintessentially lesbian she is. Ask her if she likes hiking. Go on, I dare you.

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  1. Cock Dr

    This is an awful trick to make me watch something stupid, baited with a huge hypothetical penis.

  2. so odd to hear that voice on that kid.

  3. “She wouldn’t trade her husband for a thousand Jon Hamms.”

    She’s never seen the Hammbone. That’s the only she could make such a statement.

  4. MarketingMike

    That chick’s nose is as big as my Hammbone.

  5. MarketingMike

    You didn’t tell me John was competing with Doogie Howser
    and Vanilla Ice for a a couple of 4s. Be he’s glad he lost.

  6. Love…it’s what makes Subaru a Subaru.
    (Of course, it has nothing to do with engineering or technology.)

  7. “Jon, what would you do to make Mary feel special?”
    “One-man spitroast?”

  8. That chick ain’t that hot. I wonder if he even remembers her…

  9. Did the guy say he was Mark Wahlberg?

  10. anonym

    Bet he looks back now on that hairdo and laughs.

  11. rico

    Hard to pick up chicks with that hair-do. Javier Barden said the same thing when he had the Anton Chigurh haircut in “No Country for Old Men”.

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