With Two and a Half Men officially on hiatus, poor Jon Cryer has nothing to do now but run around jogging with a face full of pure murder. Which is kind of stupid considering he works on a show that hands Charlie Sheen $2 million an episode, so there’s no way he should’ve assumed this thing wasn’t going to end in a tsunami of mangled beef and narcotics. In fact, he should consider himself lucky it went this long without him standing in the woods holding a shovel and a shower curtain while pretending, “The gun fell out of my pants, man,” is an entirely plausible story that rational adults would believe. Oh, wait:
I was downstairs one morning and Kelly [Preston] was upstairs. She went to move my pants, the gun fell out of the back pocket, hit the linoleum floor and discharged a round that, thank God, didn’t hit her directly. It hit the toilet that she was standing next to. She got hit with the porcelain shrapnel, and lead from the bullet itself. I heard the shot and rushed upstairs. There was Kelly in her underwear, holding her wrist and bleeding from several places. She was taken to the hospital and then released the same day with four stitches, two in her wrist and two in her calf. I took that particular weapon and threw it in the ocean because it had a vibe about it that was not healthy. Kelly agreed with me about that.”
- Charlie Sheen to Movieline, August 1990.