After a fake Robert Pattinson cover made the rounds yesterday, People has officially named Johnny Depp as their 2009 Sexiest Man Alive only to honor him with the least attractive photo they could take of him. Unless bland middle-aged hipster is this year’s smelly vampire kid. I can never keep up with these trends.
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nADA | November 18, 2009 at 10:30 am
Couldn’t say it better than you just did. Honour him with the worst photo indeed!
Shave your face for a day for God’s SAKE!!!!!!!!!!
Love this blog, and I’m a nazi feminist, so that’s really saying something about how funny you are… or is it?
tuhnu | November 18, 2009 at 10:30 am
I thought I was :/
Ann | November 18, 2009 at 10:31 am
Good call on the pic. I was looking at it and thinking, “WTF? Nice pic…” and then got to the “least attractive photo” part of your text. People blows.
Crabby Old Guy | November 18, 2009 at 10:34 am
Damn Fish – thought this was gonna finally be YOUR year.
Bastards!
harbknocklife | November 18, 2009 at 10:39 am
what is this? the throwback edition?
Betty | November 18, 2009 at 10:41 am
My friend recommended me a very interesting place ****** MatchWealthy.com ****** It’s where wealthy singles looking for someone to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle with.
Kelvin Young | November 18, 2009 at 10:43 am
Free Application Letters
Rough don't dance | November 18, 2009 at 10:43 am
Well I dont know about all that, but JD is a great actor…
edie | November 18, 2009 at 11:11 am
I’m so glad that it wasn’t rpatts. Johnny at least has some talent.
Hiya | November 18, 2009 at 11:16 am
He is a beautiful, cool person. I am so sick of the over airbrushing, lets see what hot really is. Pratz or whatever his name is is just skanky looking. Of course I am not a teenage girl, thank God!
Edward Scissorhands | November 18, 2009 at 11:20 am
Thank science it wasn’t RPattz. They couldn’t have made a better choice; Johnny is hot (obviously), a good actor, humble and down to earth.
KIKI | November 18, 2009 at 11:27 am
Why do beautiful men try to uglify themselves, but ugly women swing so far the other way trying to be beautiful?
mandiesaurusrex | November 18, 2009 at 11:36 am
thank god it wasnt twilight boy. i would’ve raised hell…
Jrz | November 18, 2009 at 11:39 am
I think I just heard Pinky_Nip scream in ecstasy all the way across the country.
p0nk | November 18, 2009 at 11:40 am
‘sexy’ is fine and all, but i wish he’d take his mexican blanket and shopping cart and move out of the god damn intersection. God bless you too, buddy, now get the fuck out of the road. No, you can’t have any of my spare change.
mandiesaurusrex | November 18, 2009 at 11:46 am
personally, i do think johnny depp looks sexy (not in this picture)…but i think a lot of what makes him “sexiest guy alive” is his talent. he’s played so many big roles, and yet he never gets typecasted. every new movie, he’s a new character, and you don’t think about him as other characters in past movies. i cant say for sure since i dont personally know him (wish i did), but he seems like a pretty real, stand up guy too. but that picture was a bad choice…
yow | November 18, 2009 at 11:48 am
He’s hotter than Rob….
He was f*cking gorgeous in Cry Baby, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape….
Agnes Peabody | November 18, 2009 at 11:54 am
@ 15. P0nk, don’t be jealous! You must be fat/ugly! (how do you guys like it?)
Napoleon | November 18, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I love Johnny Depp, but Rpatz is my choice. Not because he’s good looking (which he is) and not really because of his acting (cause Edward sucked) but because of his personality, charm and sweetness. He really is down to earth, funny, sweet and not arrogant at all. It’s not because of the hype that Twilightfans created over Patz, cause i would like him the same if he hadn’t done Twilight. I just wouldn’t have had the chance to notice him, cause he did indi movies untill now.
Taz | November 18, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Ahh Johnny. He has got the most perfect chiseled face ever to have walked the earth.
p0nk | November 18, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Agnes Peabrain,
not only am i fat and ugly, but i’m also old. although, i’m not sure what that has to do with anything. This site is called The Superficial. if you can’t handle your fantasy man being snarked on, you might be at the wrong site.
silly Lilly | November 18, 2009 at 12:11 pm
19 i agree, but it’s because Robert is young. Johnny used to be hot back in his day though. Now he’s old and Robert is the next pretty young thing!
Agnes Peabody | November 18, 2009 at 12:12 pm
@ 21. I guess all those years of experience did not teach you that sarcasm is always a factor on celeb websites pUnk.
moxie troubles | November 18, 2009 at 12:38 pm
And with a flick of Photoshop, Johnny Depp turns into Mickey Rourke.
grrrrreat airbrushing People.
e-rock | November 18, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Wow, that really is the worst picture I have ever seen of him!!! WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?? Not that I disagree he is pretty damn hot, but the who the hell took this picture? the cookie monster? His daughter?
lin | November 18, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I don’t hate the guy, I just think it’s a terribly unoriginal choice. Next year George Clooney and after that Brad Pitt? Come on. There are other celebrities out there.
Duke Nukem | November 18, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Who is this judged by, middle-aged women at People?
jesse | November 18, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Jd is an old piece of shit he doesnt deserve it. robert all the way!!
Amy Winehouse's ass hair | November 18, 2009 at 1:23 pm
THIS is the first relevant actor you guys at The Superficial have posted about.
Normally we get upcoming Oscar winners and humanitarins like Linsay “who cares about you, just die already” Lohan and Paris “I look like a premature retarded chicken in an incubator and I’m a waste of skin” Hilton.
Suzie | November 18, 2009 at 1:30 pm
LOVE HIM!!! Thank you fish!!
Jenna | November 18, 2009 at 1:44 pm
I was wondering why my vagina’s been crying hysterically for a week straight. It must be true. Time to sew my cooter shut.
He's cool | November 18, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Picture #4 is the picture. Johnny has the coolness that Bogart also had.
lady jesus | November 18, 2009 at 1:54 pm
The sexiest man alive is 40+ year old Johnny Depp? Come the fuck on. It’s retarded how these lists always have the same 10 male celebrities. Brad Pitt stopped being even remotely hot a long time ago (think back to when he was with Jen). And it doesn’t help that he insists on sporting the most unflattering facial hair.
Is Jake Gyllenhal somehwere in there too? Ryan Reynolds? I mean, these guys won’t warrant a second (or first ) glance if they were just regular guys walking down the street. We definitely need more young blood in Hollywood. Too bad that a lot of the newcomers (Pattinson and Zac Efron) are total pansies.
Joey | November 18, 2009 at 2:04 pm
this man helped me reach puberty
i hate people | November 18, 2009 at 2:08 pm
wtf, why would they choose that picture? that is the worst pic of him ive ever seen!!!!!
Sorry to tell you... | November 18, 2009 at 2:25 pm
@ 33 Lady… Men get sexier as they age. Look at Leo DiCaprio. If the twifags keep on acting and becoming better actors, maybe someday they will be on the same level as Depp, Pitt and Clooney, all who have been voted sexiest twice.
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gotmilk? | November 18, 2009 at 4:00 pm
People voted clooney sexiest guy, therefore i can’t take anything they say serious. Whoever votes for this shit must have already gone through menopause. Jonny Depp isn’t bad, but some of the other guys: Ryan Renolds, Nick Cannon?!? No fucking way.
EricLR | November 18, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Someone over at People typed “Craziest Man Alive” and somehow the spell-checker changed it.
sheana | November 18, 2009 at 5:05 pm
oh yeeeesssss…. he is all that indeed! thanks for the best post of the year fish! took you long enough ;)
yum.
wosh | November 18, 2009 at 5:18 pm
It should have been Adrian Brody!!
Courtyardpigeon | November 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm
I had the pleasure of hanging out with Johnny in Toronto. Let me tell you guys something from someone who knows. You have no idea how little and unimportant of a man you are until you walk down the street with Johnny Depp. Trust me.
soahc | November 18, 2009 at 6:05 pm
#1
You’re a dumb bitch.
Truly,
The Underground Resistance
Osakasushi | November 18, 2009 at 6:11 pm
#41 is right!
Adrien Brody is one sexy motherfucker…
But definitely Depp over RPattz any day, you twifags can start having a say when you get out of high school in five or six years…
Jennyjenjen | November 18, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Who is this “Agnes Peabody” and why is she so annoying?
Butt Plugz | November 18, 2009 at 7:24 pm
I will tell you who Agnes Peabody is. It is the devil himself.
mikka!! | November 18, 2009 at 8:29 pm
yes he is the sexiest man in earth !!! but ryan is so hot!!
:O | November 18, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Wow #42, how did you meet him? What was he like?
Brooke | November 18, 2009 at 9:40 pm
I’m so glad that Johnny Depp got Sexiest Man Alive this year. He is one of the best actors of this generation, his talent is just A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Sometimes he looks a bit scruffy, but who cares, he’s hot. The photo though, is not so great of him. I’m glad Robert Pattison didn’t get it either, not b/c I hate the kid or anything but b/c I’m sick of all the tweens loving him only b/c he played Edward in Twilight. He’s just an average actor, he’s cute I guess, but sexy? No, he’s not there yet.
Laura | November 18, 2009 at 10:08 pm
i’m still a teen and i totally dig depp, clooney, pitt and dicaprio as they get older. a few years back i still fancied sean connery, and he’s positively ancient… jake gyllenhaal is sort of awesome too. i do like him younger as well, he’s a bit of an exception.
twilight idiot and high school imbecile can go wank.
#43, totally!