Johnny Depp is okay, I guess

This one’s for you, ladies. Here’s Johnny Depp at the premiere of Sweeney Todd at the Zeigfeld Theater in New York City. I don’t see why women find him so attractive. Sure he’s rich, talented and has solid steel abs I could use for some blacksmithing. What do you mean that sounds a little gay? I’m only saying I’d pound out my red-hot broadsword on his abs instead of the traditional anvil. Then I’d go wrestle a dragon or something. I’m pretty sure that’s the most heterosexual and medieval mental picture I’ll ever paint in my entire life. A cowboy with ass-less chaps and a moustache wants to give me a high-five. That’s how straight it is.

NOTE: I also added pictures of Keith Richards because women freaking love him. Like this chick who seems to be having a ball carting his surprisingly alive carcass around.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News