Johnny Depp can write his name

May 15th, 2006 // 71 Comments

jdepp-signs.jpgAutograph Collector magazine has put Johnny Depp at the top of their 14th annual survey of Hollywood’s best autograph signers followed by George Clooney. And topping the list of worst signers is Cameron Diaz, who not only refuses to sign autographs but also lectures fans on how lame they are.

“Many stars become bad signers once fame and fortune hits, but not Depp. He’s even signed autographs for crowds at the airport while carrying luggage,” said Steve Cyrkin, editor and publisher of the Santa Ana, Calif.-based magazine. As for Clooney, “he’ll joke as he signs, and make fun of how he looks in photos he’s handed to autograph,” Cyrkin said. “Cameron Diaz may be a talented actress, but she’s persistently a terrible signer. Instead of just turning down a person’s autograph request, she’ll lecture them about how dumb autographs are.”

The only thing more amusing than reading about how Cameron Diaz hates her fans is reading about how a magazine called Autograph Collector magazine actually exists. I’m not saying autograph collecting isn’t a real interest, I’m just not sure it deserves an entire dedicated publication for the subject. It’s not pornography.



  1. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Fisher, no no no.

  2. That top 10 best/worst list surprises me. I used to sell motorcycles at a Hollywood shop, I’ve seen who should be the best and the worst. Harrison Ford was cool about it all. People went running to grab polaroid shots with him, he was autographing them, shaking hands and just being a personable guy. Mel Gibson on the other hand offered a hand shake, no pics, no autographs, nada. To his credit, he explained that if people want to hero worship they should do it to someone worthy, doctors, teachers, etc. Not some guy who reads what someone else wrote in front of a camera.

  3. what up, ya'll

    I can’t stand Cameron Diaz. She’s a mediocre actress at best, and fuggity fug to boot. What are her redeeming qualities? I can think of zero, unless being a skank counts. She should be working at Hot Dog on a Stick and ho’ing it up at the mall.

  4. Sheva

    Well France is a safe haven for people who don’t want to bathe. And Johnny was living there with his thin tarty wife I think. I don’t know she’s a tart, but it sounds good to use in a sentence when talking about foreigners who like to live in an unbathed land.

    So if Johnny is now residing in London and not bathing there either, well that’s certainly news.

    Oh and Mel Gibson rocks.

  5. 86

    Ha! @ 31

  6. Jacq

    I live in San Antonio right near Tommy Lee Jones and he’s a caustic asshole to anyone who even looks in his general direction. Once, he went into the cigar shop where I used to work and was a total dick to the owner – who gave him a “who in the hell do you think you are?” (he really didn’t know who he was) He then told my boss that he liked him and offered him a cigar to which boss said WTFever. He’s even a dick to his family.

  7. Jacq

    #54 – I think you can describe anyone who looks like they are sucking on a lemon as “tarty”. Like I said the other day, I call myself a dirty, smelly, French gutter slut – even though the smelly/French part is redundant. That’s where I work the Department of Redundancy Department.

  8. Aimtrue

    Getting Cameron’s autograph might go like this:

    ME: Cameron over her big fan big fan

    Cameron: You stooge, authographs are silly. Just a person’s name writeen on a piece of paper or a picutre., Are yoiu going to sell it on ebay to someone even more worthlass then you. Her what are you going to do with this. Hmmmm? Sit around with your loser friends and talk about how you got my autograph? Hmmm What are you going to do? Huh, Well, Wellllllllll

    Me: Wipes ass and hands it back.

  9. prettierthanmeganharris

    I’m kind of disappointed to hear that. I have this strange attraction to him, its not a sexual attraction really, I just like him.

  10. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    Wow. That was really weird, really unfunny, and DEEPLY in need of spellcheck.

  11. Jimmyz

    Who cares if Cameron Diaz doesn’t like to sign autographs? If she thinks they’re stupid, so what? She’s not obligated to sign pictures, and it’s not like it’s in the job discription.

    “Cameron Diaz hates her fans”

    Riiiight… because that’s EXACTLY what it means.

    And who are you to say whether or not autograph collects “deserves” a magazine? Obviously there must be some sort of reason why there is one. Because a lot of people, collectors or not, find it interesting.

  12. Italian Stallion

    LOL @60 was thinking same thing

    @58 Aimtrue, you did that shit on purpose, write? Seriusly…….waz it?

  13. Nikki

    Man, i love J. Depp. You never see him in the tabloids for all this crazy shit like LL and all are, and when he IS in the news it’s because he’s doing something fucking awesome.

  14. Binky

    Johnny’s ok.
    (But he should quit smoking)
    ( I like Frenchie’s as well…)

  15. prettierthanmeganharris

    Johnny Depp is a god *sigh*

  16. # 3 LOL

    Jack Sparrow can sign me all over my body DD’s, ass, legs, head, ears…LOL whew!

  17. If Johnny Depp likes skeletal woman I have to lose 250lbs. Let me see 350-250=100?
    then maybe I’ll have a chance…right!

  18. Fa Cube Itches

    I think it would be nice to ask Cameron to sign something from “The Mask” – just to remind her that she used to be cute once upon a time.

  19. ptprez

    jacq…i love your posts…i’m almost stalker-like…i need a shrink…keep on keeping on…

  20. doeslifesuckorwhat

    I want Depp and Moss back together, shooting up and trashing hotels. I’d hit both of them simutaneously while Jolie did lines off my butt. When the fuck did these people become parents? What is wrong with the world????

  21. Andrea

    I found this photo of Johnny Depp on a site, and I don’t think this photo is part of The Pirates of the Carribbean!! HUhaha!!

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