Autograph Collector magazine has put Johnny Depp at the top of their 14th annual survey of Hollywood’s best autograph signers followed by George Clooney. And topping the list of worst signers is Cameron Diaz, who not only refuses to sign autographs but also lectures fans on how lame they are.
“Many stars become bad signers once fame and fortune hits, but not Depp. He’s even signed autographs for crowds at the airport while carrying luggage,” said Steve Cyrkin, editor and publisher of the Santa Ana, Calif.-based magazine. As for Clooney, “he’ll joke as he signs, and make fun of how he looks in photos he’s handed to autograph,” Cyrkin said. “Cameron Diaz may be a talented actress, but she’s persistently a terrible signer. Instead of just turning down a person’s autograph request, she’ll lecture them about how dumb autographs are.”
The only thing more amusing than reading about how Cameron Diaz hates her fans is reading about how a magazine called Autograph Collector magazine actually exists. I’m not saying autograph collecting isn’t a real interest, I’m just not sure it deserves an entire dedicated publication for the subject. It’s not pornography.
Aimless | May 15, 2006 at 12:46 pm
First?
Aimless | May 15, 2006 at 12:49 pm
Hoo-ray!!
Cameron Diaz doesn’t like signing autographs because if she gets that close to people they’ll get a close-up of the huge zit-craters on her face. Have you seen her w/out makeup? Not a pretty sight.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 15, 2006 at 12:50 pm
I want Captain Jack Sparrow to autograph my heaving bosom, being the lusty pirate wench that I be.
sweetcheeks | May 15, 2006 at 12:55 pm
Johnny Depp started to autograph my bosom, but then Cameron Diaz got in the way and took a dump in the middle of the floor. She left it there, called it “Charlie’s Angels,” and it became a huge hit.
I never got my fucking autograph, either.
spatz | May 15, 2006 at 12:55 pm
“Cameron Diaz may be a talented actress”
really? on what planet is zippy a talented actress?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38329000/jpg/_38329281_zippy150.jpg
Ari | May 15, 2006 at 12:56 pm
I’d fuck him senseless. Repeatedly… especially if he kept that pirate costume on.
CrazyBrunette | May 15, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Johnny depp is cute but his gap toothed bitchy wife isnt.Ugh
BigJim | May 15, 2006 at 12:57 pm
What would really impress the hell of out me would be seeing Paris Hilton write her name.
Sheva | May 15, 2006 at 12:58 pm
This is old news already. Why post it now? So Johnny Depp signs autographs in France. Who cares?
Like the French really want American autographs much anyway.
CrazyBrunette | May 15, 2006 at 1:00 pm
Where does it say he signs autographs in France? He lives in London with his french wife Vanessa Paradis.
The Girl | May 15, 2006 at 1:00 pm
I don’t know, I think it’d almost be worth it to be lectured by someone as vapid as Cameron Diaz. Next time I see her, which, you know, could happen, I’m totally gonna ask her to sign my butt.
CoJo | May 15, 2006 at 1:05 pm
“Cameron Diaz may be a talented actress”
Compared to Johnny Depp – the only place Cameron Diaz should be considered a talented actress is in a Vagisil commercial. Seriously.
CrazyDaddyXenu | May 15, 2006 at 1:06 pm
Cameron Diaz is an ungrateful stick figure of a bizz-nitch. She should go sign the middle of a very, very busy road…
pinky_nip | May 15, 2006 at 1:07 pm
She’s such a steaming bag of cunt. Buy some damn proactive already.
In other thoughts, Capt. Jack Sparrow… yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, and me naked with you on top of me and oh GOD… *running off to the bathroom*
Zanna | May 15, 2006 at 1:14 pm
My ass was featured in Autograph Collector Magazine. BigJim signed it.
Shelley Bonnechance | May 15, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Who wants Cameron Diaz’s autograph anyway? Ew.
Johnny Depp on the other hand…ding, dong! I’m glad he’s a nice guy, but I can’t figure out what he sees in the haggard Ms. Paradis. Maybe he just fancies that heroin-chic look? He was all up in Kate Moss’s stuff for awhile and she also had those hollow, starveling cheeks and eyes that looked like piss holes in the snow.
His taste for skeletal women is his only imperfection, though.
Spindoc | May 15, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Cameron Diaz Lectures people? I love the thought of some bim who never went to school and got by because she was formerly hot giving people a lecture about how “dumb” something is.
I do the same thing, but I go around lecturing people about how Dumb Cameron Diaz is.
hugo | May 15, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Autographs suck.
I would rather spend some quality time with Cameron Diaz and lecture her about how cool I am.
86 | May 15, 2006 at 1:24 pm
Cameron Diaz will kick your ass, too.
Praz | May 15, 2006 at 1:32 pm
I had sex with Johnny Depp, once.
To my credit, I was confused and thought I was fucking Helena Bonham Carter.
Whoops.
gogoboots | May 15, 2006 at 1:34 pm
It seems kinda messed up actually, but there are a lot of people out there obsessed with celebrities…hello?!
PocketRocket | May 15, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Tom Cruise LOVES Captain Jack Sparrow Cock!
Last time I saw a mouth like Cameron Diaz’, it had a hook in it. Over-rated!
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 15, 2006 at 1:44 pm
I LOVED Cameron Diaz as the Joker in Batman! She was so great.
edb87 | May 15, 2006 at 1:49 pm
Cameron Diaz has more important things to do than make some fan’s day, like do that dumbass MTV show Trippin and whine about trees being cut down.
Is that turd even on TV anymore?
Jacq | May 15, 2006 at 1:50 pm
Johnny Depp is gross, as is his chick. I would only ask Cameron Diaz to autograph a piece of toilet paper for me and then I’d wipe my ass with it in front of her. Then, she’d lecture me for not using a leaf or some shit. Then, I punch her in her crater face.
Anyone see the commercial with Gwenyth and her – annoying to the max. Who calls that acting?
xavierh | May 15, 2006 at 1:57 pm
So the best/worst list is here:
http://www.autographcollector.com/bestworst.html
I’m surprised to see Winona Ryder on the worst list. Don’t you have to be acting in films or tv shows to be considered autograph-worthy? I didn’t think PSAs for your community service requirement counted. Besides, she’s probably a little shy about signing anything without her lawyer present at this point anyway.
86 | May 15, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Yeah I saw a commercial she did once, only it was an hour and a half long and it sucked ass!
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 15, 2006 at 2:04 pm
I think it’s funny that our beloved TC is on the “best” list. He probably signs, Love, Xenu. And throws in a free Scientology tract to boot.
And Russell Crowe is on the worst. Yeah, I’d imagine those phones being thrown at you would be a little off-putting.
pinky_nip | May 15, 2006 at 2:05 pm
Johnny Depp makes my clit dance for joy.
IFuckingHateYou | May 15, 2006 at 2:13 pm
I asked Diaz for an autograph in the airport once & she started lecturing me, so I said “I guess a blowjob is out of the question then?”
To my surprise & horror, she agreed to the BJ, but when that Joker mouth started coming at my schlong, I just slammed he face into the ground and pounded her ass instead.
TCLTC.
Jacq | May 15, 2006 at 2:17 pm
#27 – I think you’re talking about “Reality Bites.”
UNWASHEDMASSES | May 15, 2006 at 2:42 pm
You can just see Cameron Diaz lecturing a crying little girl about how rude it is to take up Goddess Cameron’s precious time being a beard for Justin Timberlake. And isn’t Cameron a guy’s name? She’s probably a tranny who kept her birth name. After Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, the only reason why anyone would ask for her autograph is if they were collecting the signatures of stars who made box-office H-bombs. “Look, Mom, I got Cameron’s signature! I can put it next to Ben Affleck’s!”
Spindoc | May 15, 2006 at 2:52 pm
People still ask Winonna Ryder for Autographs?!?! Are you sure that they aren’t confusing the signiture sheets for her parol officer with autograph paper?
Fisher55 | May 15, 2006 at 2:58 pm
johnny depp sucks. i used to dig him, but when i saw him on Charlie Rose smoking skinny brown cigarettes i decided enough was enough
PapaHotNuts | May 15, 2006 at 2:58 pm
My grandpa wants his hat back you faggot. Don’t borrow people’s shit if you ain’t gonna bring it back.
Italian Stallion | May 15, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Justin Timberlake doesn’t mind giving autographs, he should teach his girlfriend how. She could use her “ball point pen” but I have a feeling she won’t like sticking her penis in ink………….
Fisher55 | May 15, 2006 at 3:00 pm
Winona Ryder once stole my heart
krisdylee | May 15, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Do you think he’d autograph my clit for me?
krisdylee | May 15, 2006 at 3:05 pm
with his tongue?
86 | May 15, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Cry Baby is the greatest movie of all time.
PapaHotNuts | May 15, 2006 at 3:20 pm
krisdylee, I can’t autograph your clit, but I can stain it white.
You bring out the whore in all of us.
Odium | May 15, 2006 at 3:27 pm
that man is so yummy
iambananas | May 15, 2006 at 3:29 pm
That is so sweet, I love Johnny Depp. He kind of seams like the type of guy that wouldn’t want to sign autographs, kind of quiet and reserved.. but he’s actually a rare celebrity who differentiates between fans and the paparazzi! He’s really a nice guy and deserves everything he’s worked for!
pinky_nip | May 15, 2006 at 3:40 pm
I’d kick a raccoon’s ass using Paris Hilton for 10 minutes with this guy.
iambananas | May 15, 2006 at 3:42 pm
He’s just really really cute! What’s your fave Johnny Depp movie? I think I have to go with Gilbert Grape… he was just a really good actor in that movie.
iambananas | May 15, 2006 at 3:44 pm
pinky_nip…I’m sure you’re just what he’s looking for, lol.
HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT HOW ‘BOUT NOT
Fisher55 | May 15, 2006 at 3:51 pm
omg lame banana is hostile 2day!
PapaHotNuts | May 15, 2006 at 3:53 pm
Do not respond to it.
spatz | May 15, 2006 at 3:53 pm
great. now i can never watch whats eating gilbert grape ever again.
pinky_nip | May 15, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Remember! Don’t feed the animal.