A Pile of Scarves Wearing A Hat Drunkenly Mumbled Something About Trump

It seems like only yesterday that I was on here talking about how Johnny Depp is a hobo-chic booze monger, but here we are again. The newest comes from Glastonbury where someone was stupid enough to hand a drunk Johnny Depp a microphone in front of a crowd. Obviously he said something stupid that got people all triggered because you can’t talk shit about the T-Rump, oh god n0, you’ll go to hell with the gays!

I know that Johnny’s fans find the whole “discombobulated eccentric drunkard” alluring (and that number dwindles by the day), but the guy is about to hit the wrong side of fifty years old and it’s just not cute anymore. I don’t even think it’s the alcohol either, it’s just hardwired into his brain to talk with a sloppy English accent and constantly act like he just walked into the wrong room in an apartment building.

In Johnny’s defense, he’s making a joke about John Wilkes Booth and the only thing he’s guilty of is not being funny. If you’re seriously offended by what drunk Johnny Depp says and want his head on a pike for being a moron, you’re officially not invited to my BBQ this weekend because you’re triggered too easily. Kathy Griffin will be there!

What are your thoughts on it, Scott?

Scott Disick and Bella Thorne arriving at a house party in Beverly Hills

Why can’t youjusst letthe guy be scarfman? He’ssa good actor in the yo-ho-yoho-“
*trips into dog shit*