And Welcome To The Exact Moment Johnny Depp Told Native Americans To Eat A Dick

April 20th, 2012 // 26 Comments

There’s no way we don’t have to give them an entire state now. Just.. goddammit, Johnny Depp.

Photo: People


  1. History

    Everybody knows Native Americans used white face paint before going to in to battle the Spanish Conquistadors. Unfortunately for the Native Americans the Spanish Conquistadors killed many of them. The Spanish Conquistadors intended at first to conquer the land and name it New Spain and make all the natives Christians and slaves.

    Everybody knows that.

    • Bonky

      Yes and I am surprised the idiots at People didnt at least google it and see examples, some very close to what Johnny has on. I guess they were just trying to start something.

  2. The best part of the article is where People refers to the movie as “The Long Ranger.” And if you think that sounds like the name of a porno, that’s because it is.

  3. JC

    Isn’t having Johnny Depp play a Native American–instead of, oh I don’t know, using an actual Native American actor–pretty much telling them to eat a dick in the first place? This is just the icing on the dick cake* we’re giving them.

    *Any resemblance to Miley Cyrus birthday dick cakes is purely coincidental.

    • Cotton Mouth

      Johnny Depp frequently claims he is part native American because his family was french and it’s possible at some point one of them had sex with a Native American.

      • Burt

        Possible? Highly likely. It’s exactly why Franco-Americans and French-Canadians are darker skinned than most people of Irish/Scottish/German/etc descent.

      • Bob

        I thought THAT was because the French side of the family was having sex with Moroccans…

  4. Richard McBeef

    I’m smelling a Pultizer on this one. Congrats shitty magazine no one reads outside of the dentists office.

    • Wiwitz

      angeline is not extraordinarily btiaeuful, just btiaeuful. and she’s not skinny (damn you americans, with all your fatass mindset). But johny depp is cool, yeah, but he’s kind of a freak imo

  5. Josephus

    If we’re giving them a state, can it be New Jersey? Or is that just adding insult to injury?

  6. Drew

    Yes. Marilyn Manson was the first, and only person to ever use white and black face makeup.

    Both of them are fucking tools anyway, so I’m not sure why I care.


    Part Cherokee if that site’s legit. I know I’ve heard mention somewhere else that he was Cherokee as well.

    Anyway, I want all this shit sorted out and on my desk by Monday.

    • “Tonto’s treatment especially bugged him because Depp had always been told his family was part Indian. ‘I guess I have some Native American somewhere down the line. My great-grandmother was quite a bit of Native American, she grew up Cherokee or maybe Creek Indian. Makes sense in terms of coming from Kentucky, which is rife with Cherokee and Creek.’ ”
      –Johnny Depp in Entertainment Weekly, May 8, 2011

      So authoritative. So very, very authoritative.

  8. Flower

    Actually, Depp’s costume is a complete rip-off of Kirby Sattler’s art I Am Crow.

  9. If we’re giving away Florida, I am very cool with that.

  10. Neverborn

    Somewhere, right this moment in L.A you can actually hear Marilyn Manson screaming in joy that his picture is in a magazine again. It’s almost like he’s still relevant. Almost.

  11. Never go full retard … i mean, full Indian.

  12. disillusionisreal

    And this is what happens when Hollywood runs out of new ideas and creative effort…..we get REMAKES!!!!! And PARTS 1,2,3,……12!!!!!! I’m all for the Indians…what my relatives did to them 400 years ago was atrocious…..and yes, I do know that I would not be here now….I’d be somewhere else….somewhere where Sarah Palin running for president is not okay with the masses….Or Romney, or Santorum…Greenland maybe….

  13. Dirk Diggler

    I think the writer just told american Indians to eat a dick

  14. Lilly

    still going to make 300 million dollars. All those Jump Street fans are scocer moms with kids now and have to do something other than soccer. Taking the kids to see a Johnny Depp movie is the closet thing an American mom has to fucking Johnny Depp

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