Johnny Depp Might Be Single

Possibly because banging Willem Dafoe gets boring after a while – To the 1% anyway, amirite, occupiers? – Johnny Depp is reportedly breaking things off with long-time girlfriend Vanessa Paradis and talking to lawyers about how much of his Pirates of the Caribbean booty (Kill me. Please kill me.) she’s going to make off with thanks to birthing his kids. RadarOnline reports:

“Johnny isn’t handling anything well right now,” a source close to the Pirates of the Caribbean star told
“People around him are worried about how Johnny is doing because he and Vanessa seem so fractured right now. Their relationship is heading toward the end.”
While Depp’s movies are doing well, his personal life may be falling apart. “Johnny has started reaching out to lawyers, probably to quietly discuss how to get out of the relationship. They’re not married but they’ve been together for years and have kids together so it isn’t as easy as just breaking up,” the source said.

First, they took his werewolves. Then, they took his woman. But, this time, Johnny Depp takes their… dangly chain things. ALL THE DANGLY CHAIN THINGS. Welcome to hell, bitches.

Photos: Getty, Splash News