John Mayer Twitters his ‘mankini’

March 26th, 2009 // 130 Comments

Confirming he has the Twitter addiction of a 13-year-old girl on speed, John Mayer tweeted about the upcoming cruise he’s hosting in Mexico on Friday where he plans on wearing his infamous mankini above:

I’m already wearing it. So yes, extremely packed. RT @georgeeluvxo mankini packed yet?
about 13 hours ago from web

I’m trying to think of a word to describe a grown man who’d rather Twitter about his pubic hair-revealing swim attire than have sex with Jennifer Aniston. Besides “gay,” “retarded” or “Brad Pitt.”


  1. Melissa


  2. sapphire eyes

    Uuuuhhhh, the best thing I can say is that I don’t think I’ll have any kind of appetite for days … thanks for the instant crash diet, you creepy twat.

  3. effyeray

    So is there a new writer here? Like… I dunno, a woman or gay dude or something? Because Aniston is being portrayed here as if she were desirable… she in fact may be thought desirable by fat chicks, dudes who have no choice but to bang fat or ugly chicks or gay dudes who assume she’s “super”. She is not hot, in fact she’s barely a 6 out of 10.

  4. amanda

    hes gross
    i dont understand why ANYONE thinks hes hot

  5. It's Me Fuckers

    holy fuckin hairy. Why is it that women have to trim the bush back but it is ok for guys to be proving that man came from apes by flaunting their very hairy cock regions? I’d like to be able to give this fugly bastard a brazilian.

  6. sara

    Somebody needs to slap the homo out of this guy.

  7. havoc

    I think retarded pretty much covers it.



  8. Davo

    Dude, that’s nast…

    And I’d totally do Jennifer Aniston. Twice even.

  9. Davo

    Dude, that’s nast…

    And I’d totally do Jennifer Aniston. Twice even.

  10. sara

    Somebody needs to slap the homo out of this guy.

  11. michelle

    everytime i see these shots, i throw up in my mouth…

    i don’t think his manhood is as big as it looks in the picture (and it isn’t even that big in this picture).

  12. Van

    Ah my eyes!

  13. Van

    Ah my eyes!

  14. Bill Clinton

    Oh gawddamn….. that’s…. gawddamn.

  15. Rush Limbaugh

    Meanwhile I heard he had issues with the hairs around Jen’s butthole.

  16. Rush Limbaugh

    Meanwhile I heard he had issues with the hairs around Jen’s butthole.

  17. jjjschmidt

    is that orlando bloom?

  18. Rush Limbaugh

    Meanwhile I heard he had issues with the hairs around Jen’s butthole.

  19. jjjschmidt

    is that orlando bloom?

  20. justifiable

    AND the color’s wrong for him.

  21. Joe Blow

    Son of a bitch… I think we just found out who’s been pounding Dean Sheremet’s turdcutter.

  22. fafafafafa

    I wonder who the poor blonde chick is

  23. what the fuck man card is gone for lifffffeeee fucking retarded. p.s. jennifer aniston slap that ass all night loonnnggg.

  24. tobacccalobby

    hey number three
    you too good for a six? you’re probably fat

  25. W

    and this guy is infinitely richer than most of us will ever be. insane. only in america.

  26. Bleh


    It was nice enough of you to google more pictures! Interested much?

  27. miggs

    So, which smells worse, the front of that thing or the back?

  28. Nausiated Nat

    Uhg – his scrot is hanging out the side.

  29. timmy the dying boy

    It looked way better on Borat.

  30. Darth

    He could at least cover up his nipples!

  31. ghost

    Come on, Fish. Was this really necessary?

  32. Nero

    I would stand more near to the woman in front of him! But she isn’t probably not that much a hot chick!?

  33. justifiable

    His body is NOT a wonderland.

  34. Rhialto

    Where’s my hot chick!?

  35. feckless

    Technically it is possible to empty the suntan lotion bottle and refill it with Nair.

  36. The Listener

    That’s just soooo wrong!

  37. Gando

    I bet if he went one more step ahead then she would have bitten him! Eww!

  38. SoTe

    Oh my god, this guy is an IDIOT! And I don’t think that quite covers it.
    Why did u have to mention Brad Pitt in this post, PLZZZ!!! Brad did not choose Twitter over fucking Jen, he chose fucking Angie over fucking Jen which sounds kinda logical to me, I would’ve made the same choice; and Im a girl.
    It looked so much better on Borat, and even Jim Carrey when he wore Jenny’s swimsuit. This is wrong, soooo wrong, and he probably thinks he is sooo coool. Retard!!

  39. Kia

    Well at least you didn’t post pics of the back. Or maybe you did but I was too scared to go past the first one. Man, there is something so wrong with that picture but then again so right. I’m sure Jen has it as the wallpaper on her phone so she never calls him again.

  40. R2-D2

    Beep,blip! Ewww! Blop!

  41. SrfStrng

    I’d be twittering too if I was dating Jennifer Aniston.

  42. His body is a wonderland.

  43. OC Dee


    Thanks for the link! John has a sexy body. This pic is sexy and funny at the same time!

  44. Sooz

    I definitely think that the word mankini does not apply here. Like doesn’t a biking mean covering nips and vag? Like this covers neither. I think if a man wants a mankini, he has to wear…. like a crop shirt and a speedo. But this is just ……….. soooooooooooo veryyyyyyyyyyy disgusting!
    *stabs self in eyes

  45. Jules

    If he’s more interested in mankinis and Twitter than delivering the salami, he’s just not that into you.

  46. Ginger

    I just barfed and it looks tastier than this picture

  47. gosyco

    This is the first, and better be, the last time I ever see a… whatchacallit – mankini. It’s called a bi-kini for two reasons – breasts.

  48. thesafetydance

    wow, people, get a sense of humor. This pic is fuckin’ hilarious!

  49. grossed out

    this is the grossest thing evah! does he not own a freakin razor!?

Leave A Comment