John Mayer preferred a quiet Jessica Simpson

April 14th, 2009 // 40 Comments

Back when they were dating, John Mayer felt Jessica Simpson should be seen and not heard, according to Page Six:

“John used to tell Jess all the time, ‘I’m really attracted to your spiritual side,’ ” a friend tells us. “He’d tell her that every time she opened her mouth to speak. It was a nice way of basically saying, ‘Just sit there and be pretty, and don’t ruin it with talk.’ The sad thing is she started to tell people, ‘I’m working on being more spiritual,’ and then just sit there quietly.”

Wow. I almost want to take back everything I’ve ever said about John Mayer except he should’ve taken it a step further and tricked her into being a nudist. Musicians today; they have no heart.

Photos: WENN

  1. ret


  2. Que

    Que pin drop.

  3. It's Me Fuckers

    poor, stupid Jessica Simpson. Make yourself what your man wants you to be. Look into his face with those doe eyes and take the load about to be splashed across your face and shut up. That’s about all you are going to be good for.

  4. Demise

    second! and jessica sucks :p

  5. lind

    that’s actually pretty sad

  6. NY Ted

    How could she speak….with Mayers schlong stuffed in her mouth! That is really all she is good for! I guess it is now still Tony Homo with his bi-sexual cock stuffed in the same yap!

  7. Rick

    “The sad thing is she started to tell people, ‘I’m working on being more spiritual,’ and then just sit there quietly.”

    Undoubtedly a made up story, but still, one of the funniest quotes I’ve ever read.

    For sure I’m going to use that on my current fuckhole.

  8. That’s hilarious. Like any man cares about a ‘spiritual side’. Apart from Hippies, and they aren’t men.

  9. Jessica Simpson

    Before I met John I didn’t even know that my daddyport was the Eye of God!

  10. testington


    you know she is one of the few blonds that IS dumb, instead of just playing dumb to be cute (which is more irritating than cute anyways)

  11. Why is anyone shocked that guys prefer it when she doesn’t speak. She’s merely something you look at and bang like an old drum. You don’t sit around and discuss life & the universe with her!

  12. TS

    She looks like she got kicked square in the lips. What a retard.

  13. Andre

    Women should be seen, not heard. And seen naked. Except American women – keep your too-small clothes on, muffintops.

  14. ~

    So will you castrate John Mayer, or shall I?

  15. __

    “John Mayer preferred a quiet Jessica Simpson”
    Don’t we all?

  16. Vince Lombardi

    I wondered whatever happened to that shower curtain my mom threw out in the 70s.

  17. zoltan

    “The sad thing is she started to tell people, ‘I’m working on being more spiritual,’ and then just sit there quietly.”

    The SAD thing? SAD?

  18. RichPort's Ghost

    This stupid cunt is perhaps the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.

    Hey, Ms. Duck Lips, go find another man to fuck, until he also gets tired of hearing your dumb cunt quacking.

  19. Gando

    I guess he was tired of her.It’s not well mannered.

  20. Galtacticus

    I would say they match very well together? What went wrong?

  21. Annie

    Oh man, I love that!!! Kills me how dumb she really is.

  22. Darth

    No wonder she forgets all the time her text because she’s simply not used to text.

  23. Photoshop Police

    It’s amazing that ‘Phish had enough taste to omit the classless papparazzi upskirt photos of a ‘commando’ Jessica from this appearance.

  24. Photoshop Police

    (no, I won’t tell you where. find them yourself, fellow pervs!)

  25. J

    HA HA HA Great Article

  26. J

    HA HA HA Great Article

  27. J

    HA HA HA Great Article

  28. “John Maher” Ladies never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit…

  29. Papa Joe Simpson

    Myself, I’m really attracted to her sexy titties.

  30. melanie

    if this is true then there are no words to describe what a useless piece of shit john mayer is.

  31. nola down

    #30, I’m really attracted to your spiritual side.

  32. liz4sale

    most of these ‘pop stars’ dropped out of High School to pursue their career so most of em probably arent too bright. that includes jessica, christina, britney, mariah, all of them. but i feel sorry for her, she always looks so sad. this cant be true cuz what self respecting woman would put up with that shit…and even if she isnt the smartest girl in the world she seems like a genuinly good people need to lay off her.

  33. tamaya

    i heard she got it in the butt by mayer and he’d make her sh*t on him he’s a freak…and also that she give good blow jobs…hey tony hoe does john taste?


  35. Her “spiritual side”? It’s not technically “spiritual” just because you’re grabbing fistfuls of sheets screaming OH GOOOOOD while gettin’ a hummer…

  36. ishi-san

    yeah well, who doesn’t prefer a quiet John Mayer?!

  37. Linds

    Mayer is no brain child. You have to be very stupid to date Jennifer Aniston. Mayer barly graduated himself. How smart is it for a man to keep dating women when he really seems more happy with men.

  38. Denver

    Oh it’s funny when John Mayer put women down and boy do he make his money off of them. Women sure don’t ask for much these days.

  39. jenB824

    john mayer sucks and i think everyone needs to stop talking about him.. jessica simpson was wayyyy too hot for him he is gross!! Look at these pics — She is doing well these days so everyone should leave her alone. I also read this– about her swimsuits being used in the Miss USA pageant.. good for her, that’s awesome.

  40. Poor Jessica Simpson stupid. Do what you want your man you are. Watch her face with eyes and deer about to be charged splashed in the face and shut up.

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