John Mayer preferred a quiet Jessica Simpson

April 14th, 2009 // 40 Comments

Back when they were dating, John Mayer felt Jessica Simpson should be seen and not heard, according to Page Six:

“John used to tell Jess all the time, ‘I’m really attracted to your spiritual side,’ ” a friend tells us. “He’d tell her that every time she opened her mouth to speak. It was a nice way of basically saying, ‘Just sit there and be pretty, and don’t ruin it with talk.’ The sad thing is she started to tell people, ‘I’m working on being more spiritual,’ and then just sit there quietly.”

Wow. I almost want to take back everything I’ve ever said about John Mayer except he should’ve taken it a step further and tricked her into being a nudist. Musicians today; they have no heart.

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Comments (40)

  1. ret | April 14, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    aszqgafdgadgsfdgdsfgds

    Reply
  2. Que | April 14, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Que pin drop.

    Reply
  3. It's Me Fuckers | April 14, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    poor, stupid Jessica Simpson. Make yourself what your man wants you to be. Look into his face with those doe eyes and take the load about to be splashed across your face and shut up. That’s about all you are going to be good for.

    Reply
  4. Demise | April 14, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    second! and jessica sucks :p

    Reply
  5. lind | April 14, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    that’s actually pretty sad

    Reply
  6. NY Ted | April 14, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    How could she speak….with Mayers schlong stuffed in her mouth! That is really all she is good for! I guess it is now still Tony Homo with his bi-sexual cock stuffed in the same yap!

    Reply
  7. Rick | April 14, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    “The sad thing is she started to tell people, ‘I’m working on being more spiritual,’ and then just sit there quietly.”

    Undoubtedly a made up story, but still, one of the funniest quotes I’ve ever read.

    For sure I’m going to use that on my current fuckhole.

    Reply
  8. spamfighter | April 14, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    That’s hilarious. Like any man cares about a ‘spiritual side’. Apart from Hippies, and they aren’t men.

    Reply
  9. Jessica Simpson | April 14, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    Before I met John I didn’t even know that my daddyport was the Eye of God!

    Reply
  10. testington | April 14, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    hahahahahahaha

    you know she is one of the few blonds that IS dumb, instead of just playing dumb to be cute (which is more irritating than cute anyways)

    Reply
  11. Sportsdvl | April 14, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    Why is anyone shocked that guys prefer it when she doesn’t speak. She’s merely something you look at and bang like an old drum. You don’t sit around and discuss life & the universe with her!

    Reply
  12. TS | April 14, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    She looks like she got kicked square in the lips. What a retard.

    Reply
  13. Andre | April 14, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    Women should be seen, not heard. And seen naked. Except American women – keep your too-small clothes on, muffintops.

    Reply
  14. ~ | April 14, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    So will you castrate John Mayer, or shall I?

    Reply
  15. __ | April 14, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    “John Mayer preferred a quiet Jessica Simpson”
    Don’t we all?

    Reply
  16. Vince Lombardi | April 14, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    I wondered whatever happened to that shower curtain my mom threw out in the 70s.

    Reply
  17. zoltan | April 14, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    “The sad thing is she started to tell people, ‘I’m working on being more spiritual,’ and then just sit there quietly.”

    The SAD thing? SAD?

    Reply
  18. RichPort's Ghost | April 14, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    This stupid cunt is perhaps the biggest idiot on the face of the earth.

    Hey, Ms. Duck Lips, go find another man to fuck, until he also gets tired of hearing your dumb cunt quacking.

    Reply
  19. Gando | April 14, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    I guess he was tired of her.It’s not well mannered.

    Reply
  20. Galtacticus | April 14, 2009 at 6:07 pm

    I would say they match very well together? What went wrong?

    Reply
  21. Annie | April 14, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Oh man, I love that!!! Kills me how dumb she really is.

    Reply
  22. Darth | April 14, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    No wonder she forgets all the time her text because she’s simply not used to text.

    Reply
  23. Photoshop Police | April 14, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    It’s amazing that ‘Phish had enough taste to omit the classless papparazzi upskirt photos of a ‘commando’ Jessica from this appearance.

    Reply
  24. Photoshop Police | April 14, 2009 at 6:18 pm

    (no, I won’t tell you where. find them yourself, fellow pervs!)

    Reply
  25. J | April 14, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    HA HA HA Great Article

    Reply
  26. J | April 14, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    HA HA HA Great Article

    Reply
  27. J | April 14, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    HA HA HA Great Article

    Reply
  28. Rough Daddy | April 14, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    “John Maher” Ladies never trust a man who combs his hair straight from his left armpit…

    Reply
  29. Papa Joe Simpson | April 14, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Myself, I’m really attracted to her sexy titties.

    Reply
  30. melanie | April 14, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    if this is true then there are no words to describe what a useless piece of shit john mayer is.

    Reply
  31. nola down | April 14, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    #30, I’m really attracted to your spiritual side.

    Reply
  32. liz4sale | April 14, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    most of these ‘pop stars’ dropped out of High School to pursue their career so most of em probably arent too bright. that includes jessica, christina, britney, mariah, all of them. but i feel sorry for her, she always looks so sad. this cant be true cuz what self respecting woman would put up with that shit…and even if she isnt the smartest girl in the world she seems like a genuinly good person..so people need to lay off her.

    Reply
  33. tamaya | April 14, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    i heard she got it in the butt by mayer and he’d make her sh*t on him he’s a freak…and also that she give good blow jobs…hey tony hoe does john taste?

    Reply
  34. gerard Vandenberg | April 15, 2009 at 7:13 am

    BEING FAT CAN’T AFFECT HER, folks!!

    Reply
  35. RichPort's Ghost | April 15, 2009 at 8:45 am

    Her “spiritual side”? It’s not technically “spiritual” just because you’re grabbing fistfuls of sheets screaming OH GOOOOOD while gettin’ a hummer…

    Reply
  36. ishi-san | April 15, 2009 at 9:12 am

    yeah well, who doesn’t prefer a quiet John Mayer?!

    Reply
  37. Linds | April 15, 2009 at 11:36 am

    Mayer is no brain child. You have to be very stupid to date Jennifer Aniston. Mayer barly graduated himself. How smart is it for a man to keep dating women when he really seems more happy with men.

    Reply
  38. Denver | April 15, 2009 at 10:27 pm

    Oh it’s funny when John Mayer put women down and boy do he make his money off of them. Women sure don’t ask for much these days.

    Reply
  39. jenB824 | April 17, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    john mayer sucks and i think everyone needs to stop talking about him.. jessica simpson was wayyyy too hot for him he is gross!! Look at these pics — http://tinyurl.com/jsimpsonpics She is doing well these days so everyone should leave her alone. I also read this– http://tinyurl.com/csqsd2 about her swimsuits being used in the Miss USA pageant.. good for her, that’s awesome.

    Reply
  40. micro sd card | May 31, 2010 at 7:27 am

    Poor Jessica Simpson stupid. Do what you want your man you are. Watch her face with eyes and deer about to be charged splashed in the face and shut up.

    Reply

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