John Mayer is f-cking everyone

October 25th, 2009 // 51 Comments

Jennifer Aniston is getting John Mayer’d in the groin again, you say? Not so, says Hollyscoop:

John was spotted on a romantic date with actress Rashida Jones Friday night at the Chateau Marmont, Hollyscoop can confirm exclusively.
The couple was having dinner in a secluded area when John “took the guitar from someone who was performing and at the Chateau and performed an impromptu performance for Rashida.”
His audience included Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. The crowd “went wild when he performed his new song,” an eyewitness tells Hollyscoop exclusively. Mayer got such a great response from fellow diners, he even performed his hit “Your Body is a Wonderland” for Rashida.

Of course, the odds are significantly high this was a forgotten publicity stunt for I Love You, Man that accidentally went off, so let’s assume John Mayer tried to French Jason Segel’s anus and call it a wash. That work for everyone? Awesome. Moving on…

Photos: Getty

  1. Kimberly

    Well isn’t that special.

  2. shazbot


  3. Allison

    This is really all you’ve got for today?

  4. <3 FISH

    @4: Allison, go fuck yourself! Fish updated his Facebook page and said he wouldn’t be starting until later in the day, so shut your whiny bitchass.


  5. Hello There

    Nice girl. Love her feet.

  6. Hello There

    Nice girl. Love her feet.

  7. Ashley

    Is that supposed to be a smile?

  8. Ashley

    Is that supposed to be a smile?

  9. Ashley

    Is that dumb look on her face supposed to be a smile?

  10. Amanda

    Her rep has already denied it, thank god. According to ONTD she is actually dating Obama’s hottie speechwriter. So awesome!

  11. Turd the third

    Boring,,, she is standing there like she has a confidence problem, she looks really uncomfortable.

  12. Are you kidding me? This is freakin depressing if it is true. John Mayer needs to get his wang stuck in a meat grinder. Ouch. I’m a girl and that hurt.

  13. Rough intentions

    I suppose she fell for this cornball act….

  14. Anexio

    Speaking of anus’….Isn’t her father a colored?


  15. Mr.Mr.

    i did have a Frowney Face.

    but since its not true, LOL :-)

  16. Pantsman

    It should be illegal for Rashida Jones to put her vagina, mouth, anus, hand, elbow, nose, earlobe, doberman, aquarium, stock portfolio, Uncle Steve, or any other part of her physical person near John Mayer’s pangus.

    Not fair. This is Lame to the power of Bogus.

  17. Crabby Old Guy

    John Mayer is like that guy playing the guitar on the stairs in “Animal House” – completely useless poof muzak machine. We need a “Bluto” to walk down the stairs and smash his freaking guitar. Only this time, over Mayer’s head.

  18. When I first saw this guy on The Chappelle Show, I thought he had a great sense of humor about himself.

    now, not so much. I guess he’s actually started to believe his own hype.

  19. Fucken Rock Stars…..oh wait it’s only John Mayer.

  20. granuaile

    The only only amusing aspect of this is that she probably completely ate it all up. “Oh my god, singing songs to me that he wrote about other women!”

  21. There is no way Rashida Jones is dating John Mayer. Last time I checked she is a woman with actual self-esteem. John Mayer is way to into himself. One of those guys who doesn’t give a rats ass about who he hurts as long as he gets laid and gets some publicity.

  22. Insatiable Peter

    I would’ve gladly accepted jail time and smashed my guitar over his mothafuckin head if he tried to take it away from me. Your Body is Incapacitated, John.

  23. miel

    I actually know from an ex-boyfriend of hers that she is currently dating Jon Favreau.

  24. puhleez

    I would get so freaky with that. I’m glad that John is putting it down right. At least until he finds tighter vadge, and there’s always tighter vadge.

  25. Andrew

    Women are fucking stupid and will fall for anything. That’s why they always go back to their abusive, face bashing boyfriends and fall for the douche bag with a guitar.

  26. Stephanie

    Rashida, your sister was with TuPac. This is definitely a step DOWN for the family. I love how she can look black or white depending on clothes/hair/makeup. And yes her dad is Quincy Jones..and yes he is black.

  27. John Mayer is fucking serial dater!!!leave sm chicks 4 us…..darn i need 2 learn 2 play guitar!!!!!!

  28. Jim Lahey

    She’s homely.

    Who is she?

  29. a

    Mayer is fake. He faked a relationship with Aniston for money and publicity : paid by the Marley and Me production.

  30. someone

    Maybe now people will shut up about him and Aniston!!!

  31. Catalina

    Number 5, lay off the meow mix in the mornings.

  32. Greg

    Rashida Jones reps have denied this already… John Mayers womanizing days are over as far as celebrity women go. His rep has been spread around and no celebrity woman is going near him least she end up looking like Jennifer Aniston, Jesscia Simpson, or Leighton. Blake Lively practically laughed him off when he flirted with her. Wa wa.

  33. gigi

    cute shoes! Rashida is so fresh & adorable… but ew — Jon Favreau?? thought he was married! it’s time to interject some color & go back to her roots/ leave the pasties alone… she’d look awesome w/ Gary Dourdan — or for more ethnic complexity, Daniel Henney… yum

  34. yonkers kid

    She’s lucky she didn’t get too much of her father’s kneegrow genes. She can pass for a white person

  35. Darth

    He’s like a uncontrolled ‘straight’ bullet.

  36. Galtacticus

    Maybe after some more time he’ll find out that he’s the ultimate lesbian.

  37. Rhialto

    It’s obvious that a certain type of women is attracted to him.

  38. Jeannified

    Oh no!!! I really like her!!! Not John Mayer!!!

  39. Liam

    Not that pathetic douche bag. That publicity whore who believes his own fake hype probably planted this story. Mayer is desperate for the media attention. He and old ass hag Jennifer Aniston are the same lowlife scum.

  40. Steve

    When did Mayer find time to do that since he swings on so many men’s dicks.
    That wad of nothing will kiss any bodies ass for media attention.
    A Woman has to have low self esteem to be around that jerk.

  41. mike

    What a goofy looking girl. Mayer has some low standards.

  42. Tina

    Oh girl you can do better than that douche bag…..

  43. This guy’s such a pimp

  44. Janette

    @46 Blastoff Network … I think you mean whore, the pimp is the guy that employees the hos and the hos are the one that have sex with everyone | @28 Stephanie … Apparently you think there is something offensivey with being black. So what if her dad is Quincy Jones. We should all be so lucky. I think you might be happier at this website: | @34 Catalina … amen. Also @5, I really, really hate that stupid heart made with the number three and a greater-than sign. The lameness of it is unbearable. Don’t use it anymore. @John Mayer, ick.

  45. hollywood gossip

    yeyeyeyeye yuoth gonpbg?

  46. hollywood gossip


    Hollywood Gossip

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